Vanessa Bryant, the wife of Kobe Bryant and mother of Gianna who both died in a helicopter crash last month, has opened up about her grief and the pain she has been feeling.

Vanessa, who still has three other girls with Kobe, disclosed to the world through Instagram that she is still trying to come to grips with there deaths. “My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time,†she remarked in a caption below a video of her daughter playing basketball with her dad.

While she expressed her grief at the loss of her two loved ones, she was, however, feeling greater grief for her daughter who had yet to live her life. “Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live,†she continued.

View this post on Instagram I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live. Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri. I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.A post shared by Vanessa Bryant Ÿ¦‹ (@vanessabryant) on Feb 10, 2020 at 11:14am PST

She, however, noted that she has to stay strong for her three other daughters Natalia, Bianka and Capri. “I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this,†she added. “God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.â€