O, what a goodly outside,

Falsehood hath.

— Shakespeare

God hath given you one face,

And you make yourself another.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet

I was behooved to use not one, but two quotes from Shakespeare today, to drive home the point of falsehood. And no, no, no, falsehood does not mean a prosthetic phallus, but something far more insidious than that. It’s what some people do to make themselves appear to be what they are not. On second thought, it just may apply to that fake member after all.

Still, the world is full of falsehood, and not only do people make an effort to keep up appearances, they actually do egregious things to alter their appearance, giving the world the impression that they are, but they really are not.

God really gave them one face, but they made themselves another. There are so many people in our midst who are living in falsehood, or as we more commonly say, living a lie. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing, masters of deception, kings with no subjects, landlords with no property.

That’s where we’ll be heading today, down the yellow brick road to the land of falsehood, right after these reflective responses to my take on ‘Ugly baby on board’.

Hi Tony,

Every newborn baby comes out not pretty, and most are downright ugly. That statement might get many new parents upset or angry. They say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but when it comes to newborn babies, they are always beautiful to their parents. And when people look at baby pictures and remark how pretty they are, and how they resemble one of the parents, no, that is a downright lie. It is too early for newborn babies to look like anyone but an ugly person. However, as you stated, most of these babies grow up to be good looking, thankfully.

Byron

Tony,

They say that God doesn’t like ugly, but there are conditions. Some babies are really not pleasing to the eye, but their beauty lives inside. Most resemble gnarled, wizened old men with drooling lips and wrinkled faces. And yet, the parents see much beauty in them. God doesn’t like ugly, but it’s not the physical ugly, but the spiritual. Babies are pure in spirit, and that’s their beauty.

Pastor Sharon

There’s the Spanish or Spanglish term, “Living La Vida Loca”, living the crazy life, which indicates a life of excitement, fun and games, dancing, wine, women and song. But if you can’t achieve that you can do the next best thing and live a life of falsehood, deceit, deception, duplicity.

There are so many people living this false existence that it is almost impossible to detect them, until something happens to blow away the smoke that obscures their true self. This applies to many Jamaicans who left our shores to make a life for themselves in ‘greener pastures’ overseas.

They leave here with high expectations, hopes and dreams, and many do make it, succeed and are content, if not happy. But for those who don’t, they have to give the illusion that they are on top of the world.

There they are in foreign for 20 or 30 years and are no better off than when they left here. So they give the illusion that they live in a swanky apartment in Manhattan, New York, yet you never get a chance to see it.

After the many phone calls and boasting about their abode, you finally take a trip to visit them, if they let you that is, only to discover that they live in a basement somewhere in the Bronx. What a letdown.

Their excuse is, “The townhouse is being refurbished, so I’m just cotching here with my mom for a while.” To add insult to the injury of the deception, when they were in Jamaica you took them everywhere, all over the place, but now that you’re in New York, that courtesy is not reciprocated.

Whenever you hit the streets, they never even once offer to pay for a meal, as they’re ‘having a little cash flow problem, waiting on a cheque to be cleared.’ That photograph of them with their foot on the bumper of a fancy car is a fake. It was just a random car parked on the road. The subway is his car as he lives the life of falsehood.

If perchance a relative passes away in Jamaica and they have to come for the funeral, do not expect a dollar towards the expenses, even though their mouth is the loudest when it comes to the arrangements. “Make sure that daddy gets the best casket and a big repast, spare no expense. Just upfront it and I’ll pay you back when I return to New York.” That will never happen, you will never see that happen.

But living the life in falsehood is right here on our shores also, as many people give the impression that their lives are so hunky-dory and peachy, when in reality it’s more like Humpty Dumpty after the fall and pinchy cobie.

They lie about the degrees that they have and live under an umbrella of mortgages and hire purchase beyond belief, as they break all the rules of economic sense. They live way beyond their means, maxing out their credit cards as they buy things that they cannot afford, suffering not from the high cost of living, but from the cost of high living.

The prudent and smart economists suggest that if you can afford a Benz, buy a Toyota instead; if you can afford to live in Beverly Hills, live in Havendale instead. That way you’ll always be on top of your game and the game won’t be on top of you. You’ll always have something in reserve.

But nooooo, the inhabitants of the land of falsehood flip the script and do the exact opposite. As we love to say, “Him have champagne taste but beer pocket.” When you live in the land of falsehood, you’re always playing catch-up, until the bank catches up with you and repossesses the fancy vehicle or your stuff is thrown out on the streets by the landlord for not paying the rent for the past six months for the fancy house in the upscale neighbourhood. Their fiscal fiduciary falsehood, fritters, flops, falls.

Don’t believe that it’s only financialy falsehood folks who exist, for there are emotional falsehoods also. There are so many couples who on the outside appear to be oh so perfect, until you see and hear what’s really beneath the veneer of respectability.

By day he’s Mr Corporate Businessman and she the social butterfly, but by night behind closed doors, he is Dr Jekyll and she has to hide. Only the domestic helper can tell the story of abuse and discord within the household, but to the outside world, they are Mr and Mrs Falsehood. They are more common than you’d think.

Then there are the men who parade around as if they are the conquerors of concubines, winners of women, layers of ladies, when in truth their impotence is matched only by their incontinence. They are lonely men, looking for love, always in pursuit of p..m p..m, but never getting any. Yet they brag the most of their exploits, living in the past, but go home every night to take their falsehood in their own hands.

The females of falsehood are not to be left out as they exude all the sexuality of a seductive siren, a vivacious vixen, a libidinous Lolita, but deep down they really despise sex. “Not because I’m built sexy means that I like sex,” is what I heard from a lady many years ago.

But they exist in the real world and have to survive, so they have dual citizenship, one for reality and one for falsehood.

At times it’s difficult not to live in the land of falsehood, as society demands so much, making people put on layers of acceptance that they cannot afford to maintain. But it’s better to be yourself and be accepted for who you really are and not perpetuate the illusion. One day the bubble will burst and the curtain lifted as the emperor’s new clothes will be revealed.

‘Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood,’ wrote Shakespeare.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: This COVID-19 crosses has really put certain things in perspective and made us appreciate what’s really important and what isn’t. Two weeks ago we celebrated our wedding anniversary, which is always special, but this one even more so because it was the first time in three months that my better half and I could actually dine out at a restaurant. It was such a joy to sit at a table at Triple T Restaurant, which has an open-air concept, and enjoy the experience. It was far more than a simple pleasure. Tomorrow is my wife’s birthday, so we’ll celebrate again. Happy birthday, Hon.

Hooray, I have finally gone to online banking after resisting for many years. What a difference it has made to my banking experience. I was always afraid of security breaches, but was assured that the security protocols are sound. Plus, what pittance is in my account shouldn’t attract any tief, yes, tief.