Something is rotten

In the state of Denmark.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet

Something just isn’t right, something is fishy, I smell a rat, something stinks. All those sayings are from people who suspect that something isn’t above board and that they’re being taken for a ride, given a six for a nine, having smoke blown in their faces, bait and switch. It’s called trusting your instincts, and usually that part of your mind is a good warning mechanism.

That’s because people often have ulterior motives as they offer you one thing but have plans of their own to get something from you. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, they say. That’s from the story of The Trojan Horse, where after 10 fruitless years, the Greek army — in order to get inside the impregnable city of Troy — built a huge wooden horse and gave it to the people of Troy as a gift.

Little did they know that soldiers were hidden away inside the structure, and when night fell, they sneaked out and invaded the city. Lesson: Don’t be too hasty to accept gifts from strangers or enemies, don’t be too licky licky.

Be very careful when someone offers you a gift for no reason, for usually there’s a catch, strings attached, an ulterior motive.

“Why are you giving me this car, what do you want in return?”

“Don’t worry, dear, just enjoy the ride, I’ll enjoy mine later.”

Ulterior motives are bad, but some are downright unholy, as we’ll find out right after these responses to ‘Women worries’.

Hi Tony,

I saw and lived through most, if not all of what you described, with my wife. The monthly ‘curse’ — for me as well — pregnancies, childbirths and finally menopause. All these cycles of womanhood carry different and extreme ailments, pain, moods and discomfort. All of this while working full-time at a job as well as at home and bringing up children. Those men who chose to be women, even with surgical changes, will not have those experiences and therefore will not have ‘women worries’.

George

Hey Tony,

You really are a champion for the women and have a deep empathy for what we go through. Most men aren’t even aware of our challenges, or simply do not care. I hope that the men who took time to read that article will now have an idea of what our lives entail, from menses to menopause. Thank you for bringing it to their attention.

Sheila

They say that when something looks too good to be true, it usually is, so be sceptical, walk away. This applies to people with ulterior motives, as usually they have something up their sleeves and expect a payback that suits them. “Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly.” Now, why did the spider invite the fly in, for dinner? Of course, but little did the fly know that he was on the menu.

Ah yes, there’s usually a catch, as that glitter on the fake gold is merely a lure to get you where they want you. This unfortunately comes in different forms, and is often so difficult to detect, discern, dissect. As we like to say, ‘A nuh nutten.’

The definition of an ulterior motive is: ‘An alternative or intrinsic reason for doing something, especially when concealed or when differing from the stated or apparent reason. Some are innocuous, like when you pretend to be nice to someone just to get close to their famous friend.’ Or some can be deadly, diabolical, unholy.

All this came to mind when I saw the many cases of mismatched couples in the news that so often end up badly. We watch the reports, and we see the unfortunate stories of older men and much younger women ending in disaster. Almost every time, the question is asked, “What could a young, pretty girl like her see in an old, crabbit, grayback man like him?”

To take it further, the question also arises, “What did he expect, that they would live happily ever after, in spite of the 40-year age difference?” The answer is, they both had ulterior motives, and in some extreme cases, unholy ulterior motives.

Seriously folks, what in heaven’s name could a woman in her late 20s or early 30s see in a man who is almost 70? Now, you’re going to tell me that it’s all about love. Balderdash! Poppycock! Rubbish! It defies all logic.

We can certainly see what his motives are, what he wants, what all men want — a young, pretty, sexy, smooth-skinned hotttie hottie, and he’ll do almost anything to get her, spinning the most incredible yarns, just like the spider.

But what could she see in him? Aha, the plot thickens. Did he perchance have a wad of money, a lure, bait that conceals the hook? So her ulterior motive is to get next to him, use her wiles, get him to fall for her, and the rest is history. It’s as easy as taking candy from a baby, or porridge from an old geezer.

It sometimes ends in tragedy, a Greek tragedy, just like those soldiers in the Trojan horse that laid waste the city of Troy. Interestingly, there is a brand of condom with the name Trojan. Makes you think huh.

So many young girls have no intention of having a meaningful relationship with these old men, but they have their ulterior motives which are downright unholy. These stupid, foolish, imbecilic, gullible, jackass men will put these young women through school, tertiary education, set them up in apartments, buy them cars, hoping that will hold them. It can’t.

Many times after graduation, she matriculates out of his life, finds a younger man, and moves on. Again, we ask the question, “Did she think that she would simply walk away with no consequences?” The repercussions can be deadly, for no man wants to be taken for a fool. Sadly, some men cannot bear the loss, and it ends in tragedy, a Greek tragedy, with blood all over the place. We see it all the time, and again ask the question, “What were they both thinking?”

But don’t think that it’s only women who have ulterior motives, unholy or not, for men have them too. In fact, I daresay that most men on the prowl during their wild-oats days have ulterior motives when it comes to women. True, there is a woman who he will marry one day, but until then, it’s ‘come into my parlour’ and wham bam thank you ma’am.

The ruse can’t be too obvious, blatant, clear, in your face, so he has to offer his Trojan horse, hide inside, sneak it into her life and then slither out at night while she sleeps. He will whisper sweet nothings in her ears, promise her the world, speak of a wonderful future together. But his motives are sinister, ulterior, unholy.

What he really wants is to have sex with her, and he will do so by any means, fair or foul. Sadly, many women fall for the ruse, as men with ulterior motives are skilled at their craft, silky smooth, deceptive. There are a few women who may catch on, ketch de rake, smell de rat, as they’ve been there, done that, heard that, and experienced enough to discern what’s true and what’s fake. But that comes from the experience of her getting burnt, duped, deceived in the past.

It’s not easy. Just recently a I learnt of this young lady who was seeing this guy for seven years and he abruptly switched lanes and married someone else. His motives were ulterior and unholy.

It goes across the board, as women will sleep with men just to get pregnant so that the man will remain in their lives. Men will pay a woman’s rent, buy her groceries, pay her bills, just to sleep with her.

The question is, how do you discern the genuine article from the unholy fabric? The sad truth is, there are people who genuinely want to do good, but are met with suspicion, as the recipient assumes that they have ulterior motives. “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” they say. Tell that to the people of Troy who accepted that horse, filled with soldiers, that led to their downfall.

It was Mother Teresa who said, “If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives, be kind anyway.” Some cynics have said, “Men who just call to say hello, have ulterior motives.” What’s your ulterior motive?

More time.

seido1yard@hotmail.com

Footnote: Well, the crap has hit the fan, the horse has gone through the gate, the genie has been let out of the bottle, Pandora’s box has been opened and the demons have been unleashed. The novel coronavirus has reared its ugly head and is running rampant throughout our country. And we were doing so well in the early stages too. In fact, I commended the efforts of the Government for keeping the numbers in check, and we were actually praised by other countries for our efforts. But all that has come to naught as some questionable decisions combined with indiscipline on the part of many Jamaicans, from all sectors — entertainment, church, beachgoers, commuters, general public and others — have put us in the firing line of thisvirus. I have never been a harbinger of doom, but Lord help us.