You can see his potential and a possible future with him; but what about those little niggling bad habits that keep popping up?

If you just change those, then he will be the perfect

mate for you. Right?

Unfortunately, many women seem to have this notion

that they can change their spouse and transform him into a better version of

himself, or at least a version they want him to be.

So can a woman change a man? No, but that doesn’t stop

some from trying. It’s so ridiculous to think that you can re-programme another

human being into becoming what you want. If you cannot get your own children to

comply most days, why do you think you can get a grown adult to alter his personality,

worldview, philosophies and habits? There have even been cases where women know

men are gay and stubbornly state that they can love them into being straight and

so they start a relationship only to get their hearts broken down the road.

So what is it that women want when they say they wish

he would change? Basically they want the opposite of what they have, which begs

the question: if you saw what it was from the beginning, why not just keep it

moving until the right one came along? Why take up ‘damaged goods’ and then

complain about it? We do that because most women are fixers, decorators and builders.

We think that if we ask, plead, threaten, coerce or manipulate enough, the

other person will change.

None of these things work, even if they say they will.

An individual will only make a concerted effort at transformation if they want

to or they see the benefit in it. They will not do it for you but rather for themselves.

That is when it is sustainable and meaningful.

We cannot build a mate or man to our specification and

if we keep pushing we may end up calibrating them back to factory settings. They

may become resentment and push back especially if they feel that you found them

like that and so should accept them as they are, flaws and all.