Hamlet: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

Ophelia: No my Lord

Hamlet: Did you think I meant country matters?

Ophelia: I think nothing my Lord

Hamlet: That’s a fair thought, to lie between maid’s legs.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet, 3, 2

Country matters, of course, is an old term for sexual relations, but I’m sure you figured that out. Sex dominates the world, and even from the days of Shakespeare there were words that were more than a tad suggestive as the quote above shows. Let’s go further and take the Shakespeare poem from Venus and Adonis: ‘Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.’

Then there’s Othello I, 1: ‘I am one sir, that comes to tell you that your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.’

Of course, there’s Romeo and Juliet I, 3: ‘Thou wilt fall backwards when thou hast more wit.’

The beast with two backs, falling backwards, I tell you, that man really had a way with subtle words. Sexual innuendo, lurid thoughts, laced throughout Shakespeare’s plays, some of which may fly above some people’s heads, others may dip below the waist and are as plain as the knickers on a tavern wench.

The fact is, sex dominates, and no matter how you take it, or not take it, no matter how you care to look at it, or not, we live in a world that is obsessed with sex. Or do we? Truth be told, some are active participants while others are mere spectators.

Believe it or not, there are some people who didn’t get the memo, didn’t get the battle orders to launch the onslaught on the sexual revolution, didn’t heed the cry to join the fray, people who are living without sex.

We’ll see the effects of this, right after these responses to ‘Loneliness’.

Hi Tony,

The word lonely also reminds me of the Elvis song, Are you lonesome tonight. Lonesome, sad from lack of companionship. It appears that being lonely is a state of mind where one can be among friends, family, co-workers and still feel a sense of loneliness due to the lack of physical and emotional companionship, someone you love and who loves you back. And as you stated, one can live alone without companionship and not feel lonely.

Conrad

Hey Teerob,

Sometimes companionship is overrated, but I must admit that the pangs of loneliness are definitely not understated. True friends can be fickle and let you down, but at times we have to tolerate them just to avoid being lonely. It’s a choice that we constantly make, stay and be miserable or be alone and be miserable.

Carmen

Anyone living without sex, please put up your hand. You’d be surprised at how many people are living without sex, even though you’d never know just by looking at them. When I did a casual survey to find out who was living without sex and the effect that it was having on them, I was more than a tad surprised. Well, nothing shocks me anymore, but this one kinda made me wonder.

I expected people like parsons, church sisters, older spinsters, individuals of strong moral fibre, to be living without sex. Little did I know that among that motley crew would be married couples. Yes, married couples are among the unfortunates living without sex. I know that I have written about men not getting sex from their wives, but in these cases it’s by mutual consent as they live like sister and brother or roommates in the house.

What a travesty, what a betrayal of the wedding vows, what a blight against the laws of nature, but sadly it’s true. But what are the effects of living without sex? The first are denial and lying. People who are living without sex often deny the fact that sex is pleasurable and also lie about their involvement.

Some say, “What’s the big deal about sex anyway, it’s not all that great.” Denial. Or they lie about it, “I’m having sex on a regular basis and love it.” Others place sex way down on their list of priorities, saying that it’s not that important in their lives as they have other interests. “I don’t really have much time for sex, as my work is of utmost importance.”

Even now I remember a friend of mine telling me that he preferred jogging to sex. My jaw almost hit the floor in disbelief, even as I rolled around laughing at his absurdity. Needless to say, now, many years after, he’s still jogging numerous miles per day but can’t seem to catch up to any woman.

In some churches the members of the cloth are forbidden to have sex, as they are bound to adhere to vows of celibacy. Those vows often prove to be meaningless as they somehow manage to discard the cloth and indulge in sexual activities. I won’t tell you who with, but let’s just say that some female participants found a way to kick their habits. None escaped, none.

The point is, living without sex is unnatural, and despite vows that prohibit sexual activity, or country matters as it’s delicately put, people still find ways and means to indulge.

Living without sex causes misery. People who are indulging in sex regularly are usually happier, contented, congenial, easy-going folks. A man and woman who aren’t active are usually cranky, uptight and angry all the time.

“Is whap’n to har, how she suh miserable all the time?” “She nah get nutten.”

It was just recently that I saw a video of an elderly lady pacing up and down the streets shouting that she wanted her tings as she had her needs also.

“Me nuh dun yet, me still want my sumpting,” she kept on saying.

It’s said that living without sex makes men angry and prone to violence. For that reason, soldiers going into battle were deprived of sex so that they could vent their pent up rage and frustration on the enemy.

“Man, I’m so horny that anything pass my way, I going to kill it.”

This was taken into the sporting arena also, where some coaches would deprive their athletes of sexual activity right before a big game in order to keep them sharp.

“The team breathing fire today, no sex for weeks now.”

Fortunately, that’s short-term.

Living without sex can lead to insanity. Men locked away, deprived of sexual activity have been known to have gone insane. As the old saying goes, “Lack of p…m p…m hath driven him mad.” Living without sex in the long term can be devastating for some people, and there are people, not necessarily old or past the age of sexual activity, but young people who are living without sex. Some just cannot get it, while for others, nuh body nuh want them. That’s why it’s a sad situation, for their frustration builds up like a pressure cooker.

And you know what they say, “Pressure buss’ pipe”. They do contend, though, that people can get used to almost anything, and living without sex falls into that category. But you’d be surprised at how some folks refuse to live without sex and will go to any lengths to get it.

“But see ya, big old grey back churchman like that putting argument to me, before him go take up Bible!”

Yes, they say that living without sex can addle your brain, make you bad tempered, lead to anger and overall general malaise. This is serious business in the animal kingdom, for bulls in sexual peak or females in estrus can be extremely violent as they go in search of sexual satisfaction.

Living without sex means living without affection, intimacy, passion, bonding, closeness, all ingredients for us to exist in harmony. In fact, the BBC did a story titled, “The sadness of living without sex” that created quite a stir, even as it brought to light the plight of those who were experiencing this malady. In the feature, various people gave their experiences of living without sex. One guy was turned down by a prostitute at age 35 and was so devastated that he gave up on sex after that. Imagine being turned down by a harlot? Other men had similar traumatic experiences as women mocked them for various reasons, turning them off sex.

In fact, scientific studies have shown what happens when you’re not having sex. ‘Higher risk of heart disease, more stress, slower brain growth, get sick more often, higher risk of prostate cancer, less stimulated.’ Trust the scientists.

From science to Shakespeare, the consensus is clear, living without sex is not good.

Hamlet: ‘Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favours?’

Guildenstern: ‘Faith, her privates we.’

Hamlet: ‘In the secret parts of fortune? Oh, most true. She is a strumpet. What news?’

Living without sex is certainly frowned upon. You can live without sex, but living without sex is no life at all.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Sometimes we have to take serious thing and make joke. A Christian lady returning from foreign recently told me that this coronavirus plague has resulted in many miracles being performed. She explained that while at the airport observing the protocols, she witnessed people apparently ‘suffering from various ailments’ requesting wheelchairs as they disembarked from the aircraft. Wheelchair passengers get special fast-track treatment. But lo and behold, as soon as they got processed, they jumped out of the chairs and walked. Hallelujah, miracles still do happen. Seriously though folks, please observe the protocols, do not relax, not even for a minute. Wear your mask, wash your hands regularly, keep your distance, treat everyone as if they are infected. Stay safe.