KINGSTON, Jamaica — Since March 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic reached the shores of Jamaica, many people say they have experienced a long, slow death of their romantic lives. Social distancing has meant fewer dates, and the fear of contracting the deadly virus has led others to think of innovative ways, including dating apps to keep the romantic sparks flying and forge intimate links with others.

And while some couples have been lucky in the COVID-19 pandemic, benefitting from deeper connections stemming from more intimate and creative ways of dating, single people have not fared as well.

Speaking with OBSERVER ONLINE, a 25-year-old correctional officer shared that meeting new people has been challenging for him. “Not everywhere is open, you can’t really go out on dates as much, so it just takes a little bit of extra effort. But, it’s lonely,” he admitted.

Noting that his last relationship lasted four years and ended in April 2020, the officer said he has not been on any dates since COVID. This, he says, has not been for lack of trying.

“Before COVID, I would normally meet people in person because I’m always up and about. But since COVID, based on the fact that I am not able to go out as often, I have been trying different dating apps, so most of the people that I have met during the pandemic has been through those apps,” he said.

Tinder is one such app that he used. However, he says his search for love has not been going well.

“I’ve met some people that have some crazy expectations of what they want from a relationship, and I mean, nothing is wrong with having expectations, but they were just so out of the way. I’ve also met some crazy people, possibly a lot of catfish. I don’t know what it is about people trying or faking to be other people, but I’ve met those as well,” he said.

He met someone on Tinder, and after a few messages, they exchanged numbers. However, that was when he realised there was something amiss.

“I kept asking for a video call, and she keep on a give me excuses bout her hair is not done and that kind of thing. I mean, I don’t care about her hair, but she just keep on a find excuses. She sent me pictures, but every picture that she sent me, her face is blocked out. Now, she sent me two videos of her face, but when I’m trying to match the face to the body — and me love faas to be honest so me a guh see things weh people a try hide from me — so I’m seeing marks on this girl’s face. [She] sent me a picture, one in particular where part of her face was showing, and I’m trying to match the mark to that part of the face, and the mark is not there, so I know this person is fake.”

He decided that they should meet in person. However, his date did not show up.

“Then the next day dem text me seh dem deh pon a flight gone a Canada. And even while she was there, she said that she stopped in New York first, and she said she never get to do her hair. So mi seh video call me and turn di camera pon di back camera so mi can see New York. Mi nuh get no answer whatsoever. Which lead me to believe that this person is just lying for no reason.”

Noting that he no longer uses the app, the correctional officer said, “I am no longer searching, like if something should come to me, then it eventually will find me, so I’m not going to use that.”

For a banker in her thirties, the COVID dating experience has not been much better.

“It really has stalled the way I’m able to date. Most social settings have been in lockdown. You’re also working from home, so the probability of you leaving home and meeting somebody outside has been reduced. In that regard, it really has adversely impacted my dating life,” she said.

The 36-year-old who said she now meets new people through friends described dating in the pandemic as “unique”.

“Getting to know somebody, you’d want to be able to look at all the features. They would want to look at you as a beautiful female, you know, they want to look at your features. So there is that anxiety that I would get if it is that I am required to pull down my mask, especially because these people would be new. You speak over the phone with them, but in person, it’s still a little bit challenging letting down your guard around them.”

She said she has never tried dating apps before but has been considering them to broaden her options. The banker, who has been single since January 2020, after her seven-year relationship ended, said single people are “doomed” in the pandemic due to the restrictions imposed by the Government.

“People can barely see your face under the mask. It’s hard for a man to see you and even know if he’s attracted to you. Plus, you’re so afraid of people that you’re not even looking like that. So, it has reduced your options on being able to meet somebody and decide whether or not you like this one or that one.”

Despite that, she highlighted that one good thing arising from dating in the pandemic is the safe space it fosters in trying to get to know who you’re dating.

“Where you would normally go out and get to know somebody in a public space, with COVID, you now get to know them on the phone, so that’s a positive. In fact, you get to really know them on the phone. And you do like the safe space type of interaction and then if it is somebody that you really like and you trust them then you will find yourself possibly getting more indoors like maybe at the person’s house or your house where you may do other stuff like watch movies, cook together, play games and things like that,” she explained.

“For single people, it’s not so fun. If I was in a relationship, I’d be having fun with COVID because you get more personal time. The world has slowed down a little bit, and you would be doing some of [the] things that gives you quality time rather than out and about and out with groups and friends and all these things, you’d be spending more quality time alone,” she said.

And that’s exactly what it’s like for a 24-year-old law student who has been in a relationship of seven years. She shared with OBSERVER ONLINE that dating in the pandemic has impacted her relationship in a positive way.

“We talk more; we interact more in the sense that we debate a lot, so it brings us closer, and we end up sharing more of what we learn with each other and learn more about how the other person thinks. It made me appreciate his intellect,” she said.

In addition to the greater intellectual connection, she said she has connected more with her partner emotionally and spiritually.

“When you’re together as a couple, and you see each other, you focus a lot more on the physical ’cause of the connection and the feelings, all of that. But, when you’re away from each other, and you’re forced to use other mediums, you find out that there are many aspects to the chemistry that you guys have; it’s not just physical.”

She added that dating for her and her partner has been more creative with the use of various apps that facilitate entertainment, such as House Party and Netflix Party. Likewise, for a 24-year-old in a relationship of three years, while the pandemic has changed her dating style, it has not impacted her relationship.

“Before COVID, we would at least try to go on a date probably like once every two weeks or so, but since COVID, especially last year because of the uncertainty of everything, we didn’t go on any dates at all. This year, we’ve been trying to go on dates, but with the whole lockdowns and everything, it just never really make any sense, so we just don’t try anymore.

“I still see him often; we just don’t go out on public dates, and it makes me kind of frustrated because I like going out, and I like going out to eat, so that’s frustrating,” she said.