A man loves the meat in his youth,

That he cannot endure in his age.

— Shakespeare

What a man loves to chew on when he’s young might just prove too much for him later in his life, and may even choke him. As the old saying goes, craven choke puppy. The eyes do wander when a man is young, and like a child in a candy store, he grabs at everything that he sees, not knowing exactly what he wants.

What does a man want though: is it riches, comfort, good health, power, to be comfortable? And most importantly, what does a man want from a woman? This question has dogged mankind for centuries and perhaps even longer, for some say that a man’s needs are complex, while others swear that a man’s needs are simple.

“Just give me a tavern wench and a flagon of ale and I am happy.”

That jug of ale may have transitioned to a case of beer, but the wench remains constant. She may not be a tavern wench, although some men still like to dabble in rough trade, so a wench is certainly on the agenda.

Wench, chick, matey, mistress, girlfriend, gyal, wife, women go by many names and men seek them out for their pleasure. What’s in a name, said Shakespeare, a rose by any other name is just as sweet.

It does seem sort of medieval, but the bottom line is, men want women for different reasons, as we’ll find out right after we hear what these readers had to say about my spiel on ‘No regrets, no apology’.

Hi Tony,

Regarding the song, My Way, sung by Frank Sinatra, he was at that time fed up with his life and was going to retire from show business. Paul Anka wrote the song for Frank, and the lyrics reflected how Frank was feeling at the time, especially with his career. The song became a huge success. I guess Frank had no regrets, but I wonder if Paul Anka did when he gave the song to Frank.

Wickham

Ontario, Canada

Hey Tony,

Regrets are for fools. There’s no point in spending your life looking back and feeling sorry for what you might have done. You felt good while doing it then, enjoyed the moment, so why feel sorry for doing it now? It’s like those prisoners who, after years of being locked up, suddenly find religion and feel sorry for their past evil deeds. They’re just sorry they got caught, that’s all. When they were doing those crimes they were quite happy.

Horace

There’s a poster that I saw that said, ‘A woman wants a man who is thoughtful, considerate, kind, loving, attentive and, of course, has money. A man just wants a woman to show up naked and bring beer.’

See, that’s simply a version of what I said about a man wanting a tavern wench and a jug of beer. But is that true though, are a man’s needs that simple, that all he wants from a woman is to have her naked and bringing him beer?

Are men really that primal and shallow? Well, for all intents and purposes, many are, but it certainly does not apply to the majority. True, there are some men who just want sex from women with no strings attached. As one guy told me, “I just can’t take the crosses that come with relationships, so I just hit and run.”

Well, to each his own, but as the quote above said, what a man bites off when he was young may just prove too much to chew on when he gets older. Therefore, he should be advised to not just want casual sex from women, but something more.

Is that all there is, is that all there is?

If that’s all there is my friend, then let’s keep dancing

Let’s break out the booze and have a ball

If that’s all there is.

— Peggy lee

Certainly, that can’t be all there is, there must be more that a man wants from a woman. Well, just like women do, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy. They want a wife who will stay by their side and be dependable. But again, that too cannot be all that there is that a man wants in a woman, so let’s delve even further.

Believe it or not, men want ambition in a woman. Gone are the days when a wife stays at home and looks after the house and children. That’s all well and good, but a woman who has ambition, who works, yes, has a job or career, is most appealing to a man.

With the rising cost of living nowadays, a man needs to know that his woman can not only pull her weight, but also helps to pull his too if he happens to stumble. He likes to know that while he takes care of the major bills, she can assist with the others. And more importantly, he wants to know that together they can live somewhere decent by combining their incomes.

So many men of different economic backgrounds have been able to purchase a home because of combining incomes from supportive women. That segues right into the desire for establishing a home and bearing children. No man wants to know that his woman has no homemaking skills, can’t cook to save her life, and doesn’t want children.

“I wish that you’d have told me before that you hate homemaking and didn’t want children.”

Then of course, a man wants a woman who looks good. Don’t listen to what people say that looks don’t matter, don’t believe them, looks matter, and more to men than to women. Every man wants a beautiful bride. He nay not end up with Miss Universe, but he would certainly want one. He’ll settle with a decent-looking woman though. That being said, I remember this past co-worker of mine who specialised in ugly women, which gives credence to the old saying, ‘Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.’

A healthy woman is ideal. Just like in the animal kingdom, a suitor looks for a mate who is in good health. Unfortunately, people basically have no control over their health to a large extent, but nobody chooses someone who is unhealthy.

If the illness happens after the relationship has started then that’s different, for the vows do say, ‘In sickness and in health.’ But no man goes up to Ward 5 or Ward 21 to choose a partner of his dreams. It sounds cruel and cold, but it’s a harsh reality.

Then the woman has to be sociable. Men love to have their women amenable and sociable to their friends. Nothing is worse than having a lady who, when you go out to events, or have friends over, she is rude and antisocial.

“Where’s your better half, Errol?”

“Oh, she lock up in her room.”

This also ties in with being intelligent, for no man wants a woman who cannot hold a decent conversation. She hasn’t got to be a brains, but must at least be able to hold her own in basic current affairs. If all she can talk about is hair, nails, weave, idle gossip and sussu, she’s not the woman for you. Unless you like to discuss hair, nails, other people’s business and sussu all the time. Then you’re a match made in labrish heaven.

A man does not want a woman who spends too much on frippery, especially in these COVID times where life is so economically challenging.

“Imagine, she know that things hard and she guh buy six pack of weave.”

And naturally, a man wants a woman who is genuinely attracted to him. Some women may try to fake it, but an experienced man will know if her attraction is genuine or not. This means mutual sexual attraction, for there is no point if he feels sexual desire for her and she has very little or none for him.

Unfortunately, many men have been caught in this web of sexual deceit, but if he doesn’t catch it early before they get serious, it’s best he cut and run.

“Man, being with a woman who doesn’t want you is the living hell.”

Even so, he has to be careful, for ironically, he doesn’t want a woman who has a higher sexual desire than him. If that happens he may be in trouble, for he can’t handle the work. So he has to strike a delicate balance.

So basically, that’s what a man wants in a woman. And there you were thinking that all they wanted was sex and cold beer. Oh no my friends, men are far deeper than that, far more sensitive than they’ll admit to, and have genuine wants from women.

“All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don’t indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone else who can give that to them.” So said Giada De Laurentiis.

Sage words there from a woman.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: I cannot overstress how beautiful our country is, and I have traversed the length and breadth of our island for many years. Last weekend we took a trip to Ocho Rios to celebrate my birthday, courtesy of my better half, and I was once again enthralled by the beauty of our island. It’s like seeing a beautiful naked woman over and over again. No wonder tourists flock here in droves.

Speaking of tourists, we were heartened to see that some smaller hotels were fully booked, and how grateful the workers were for the business. It’s such a fragile industry, but somehow Jamaica is always on the radar of visitors. We must embrace and cherish this gift that we have — our people and our natural beauty.