You’ve asked and we’ve answered! Welcome to your weekly column ‘Planning Your Happily Ever After’ with wedding consultant Shikima Hinds.

We’ve spent most of this year talking about wedding planning, etiquette, and all things around your special day. You probably can’t quite believe that all the wedding planning for 2021 is pretty much over. Now that you’ve said your I do’s, congratulations on your first Christmas as a married couple!

For most of us, the holidays are all about spending time with loved ones. Christmas offers the warmth of holiday gatherings and memories of family events that shape how we celebrate the festivities, and with whom and where it all takes place.

When the joy of a marriage happens, families are merged for all to celebrate, making it the perfect occasion for family gatherings.

The first Christmas as a married couple comes with a lot of decisions for a new couple. It’s likely you’ve had a few Christmas gatherings together already, but there is always just something extra-special about the first one as a married couple.

I’m sure it will feel like things may be different this year — wonderfully different and with bits of challenges all wrapped up in one, just like married life can be.

Here are a few things to expect and how to handle them!

1. Make new traditions and keep only a few of the old ones

Be prepared: Your new spouse may have different family traditions over the holidays. Don’t get overwhelmed trying to keep up with all the different “mandatory” holiday gatherings and must-do’s that have been a part of their life. The best strategy to deal with that is to try to come up with new traditions for you both. Remember, your favourite childhood holiday traditions don’t have to stop once you become a newly-wed; do what means the most to you every holiday season. Try a combination of traditions from both of your families. It’s a lovely way to celebrate your first Christmas as a married couple while honouring your families.

2. Prepare your gift-giving expectations

Oftentimes, there are great expectations with gifting around the holidays. Perhaps, you expect your husband or wife to know what to give you. If you have a wish list, don’t hold back with sharing it. Gift-giving can get tricky for some couples, especially if not done right. So tread carefully.

3. Prepare to reminisce about the wedding

This holiday may be the first time all your family are able to come together since your wedding day. As your family and friends reminisce about this past year, your wedding will likely become one of the conversation highlights with everyone reliving your amazing day. A special note: Be prepared to share your wedding photos, so hopefully you’ve printed your favourites and put them in a lovely album.

4. Host a dinner party

I’m sure you received lots of fabulous wedding gifts and what better way to showcase your brand-new gifts from your wedding registry than by hosting a dinner party to put your wedding gifts to use? To avoid a disagreement of which family’s home to spend the holidays, perhaps you can host a Christmas dinner and invite everyone over to your home.

5. Spend time together just the two of you

With possible hectic schedules, holiday shopping and perhaps some travelling, don’t forget to take time for you and your spouse as well. With holiday parties and family gatherings, it can be hard to prioritise your relationship once you are in the thick of the season. Reconnect without distractions, set aside a time that the two of you can reflect on the past year, and dream together about the upcoming year.

6. Dress up your new home

There’s something very exciting about spending your first Christmas in a new house as a newly-wed. The first Christmas in a new home is always memorable. You can have fun by decorating the tree together or by inviting a few friends over to a tree-trimming party. Keep the holiday music playing and put up a few outdoor lights or something to show your new neighbours you are ready for Christmas.

Buy a Christmas ornament that commemorates your new marriage and your new home. Perhaps you can customise it or each year you can add to your collection until you have a tree that’s full of special memories.

Remember to have early conversations about the holidays. Set boundaries and don’t stress about who you are going to spend the holidays with — cherish the moments you have with each other. It’s okay not to experience Christmas the way you used to when you were single.