Frailty,

Thy name is woman.

— Shakespeare

For she had eyes

And she chose me.

— Shakespeare, Othello

And with those simple words, men were duped into believing that women were frail, that they were the weaker sex, that they were all delicate and had eyes for them. That’s so far from the truth as is akin to the devil’s biggest trick of all, that of making mankind believe that he doesn’t exist.

Well, any man who believes that women are frail, weak, delicate and can’t mash ants, had better have his head examined, for that’s not reality. True, they may be smaller in stature than most men, not having the muscles, bulk or height, but they make up for it in guile, subtlety, slyness and subterfuge, which more than makes up for their physical shortcomings.

For that reason, women can do exactly what the men do, and even surpass them, without giving the appearance of actually doing so. Just look around and you’ll see the plethora of female leaders, politicians, police chiefs, and even a leader of our own Jamaica Defence Force. I congratulate her and wish her all the best.

So, having established that women can best men in almost every endeavour of life, it’s only natural that there are a few nefarious male-dominated areas that they are very good at too, and one’s juggling.

Now, I’m not referring to the circus act performed by clowns who keep several objects up in the air simultaneously without letting them fall. I’m talking about women who keep several men aloft simultaneously without them touching each other or even knowing of each other’s existence. It’s called multitasking.

Men juggle, women multitask. We’ll find out how and why, right after these responses to my take on ‘Control freaks’.

Hi Tony,

I wonder if the man who exhibits total control over his children where he would go as far as to dress them, comb their hair, take them everywhere and back, school, movies and such, that perhaps he is the one being controlled by his wife. After all, she does not have to lift a finger in raising the children and he does all the ‘heavy lifting’ with the kids. Perhaps she makes him believe that he is in control. Is there such a thing as reverse control, as in reverse psychology?

Sharon

Tony,

Control freaks are more common than you may think, and may not be who you think, and they are so subtle with their control. Wives are the most controlling people on Earth, and if you doubt me, ask any man who’s married for a long time. This control is not overt, in your face, but covert, subtle, sneaky and not obvious to the casual observer. But most husbands live this experience and get used to it. I gotta go, my wife is calling me. “Yes, dear, coming dear.”

Gary

Now, we all know that men juggle women all the time, having one here, the other there, and even more way over there. It’s not only accepted but it’s also revered, respected, regaled, celebrated.

“Wow, that guy has women all over the place and juggling them all at one time.”

Well, here’s some news for you, women juggle too, but it’s done so skilfully it’s not called juggling, but multitasking, for it’s a delicate art of dexterity that they have to master, for the stakes can be very high.

If a man juggles several women at one time and is discovered, the worst fate that he’ll suffer is perhaps a cussing from one of the women. After the initial cussing, in most cases it’s business as usual and he goes back to his juggling. That’s because many women are happy to be included in the group being twirled, just to say that they have a man, even if he’s a clown.

For a woman though, it’s a different scenario that can prove to be dangerous, for men do not take kindly to being one ball of a handful that’s being tossed up in the air. So for that reason, the woman has to more than juggle, but multitask.

It’s more common than you may think. This was brought to my attention by a good “bredrin” of mine who specialises in dating very young women. This is a guy in his 60s, and his girlfriends are usually in their early 20s. The last time I had a woman in her 20s, I was also in my 20s.

I’m always fascinated by his stories and exploits, but he’s also aware of the guile of these women. He emphasises that these young girls are not ‘innocents’, but masters of the game and are able to multitask and know exactly what to get from the relationship with him.

“I’m not fooled into thinking that I’m exclusive to them, that I’m the only one,” he always says.

At least he’s smart, for there are many men who are merely spokes in a wheel of many spokes and aren’t even aware of it. This was brought even closer to my attention by a young lady who sought my advice on a delicate matter, based on my ‘vast experience in matters of the heart’.

She’s 22 years old, a university graduate, and has a very good job. She’s petite, cute, innocent-looking, and has the face of an angel. She’s who Jamaicans would say, “Look like she can’t even mash ants.” And yet, beneath that beautiful appearance of a cherub is a smart, cunning, coquettish woman who uses her assets well as she multitasks.

She has mastered the art of having two men full-time concurrently, with neither of them being aware of the other.

Both of the men are in good jobs, both buy her gifts, take her out, often to north coast beach resorts. Sometimes when she’s out with one, the other will send a text and she’ll reply with a lie regarding her whereabouts.

She finds the whole thing amusing, but I warn her of the dangers and deadly consequences if those two men ever discover each other’s existence. I told her that you can’t ride two horses at one time, but perhaps I should have said that she can’t let two horses ride her at one time. The scenario is untenable and always ends badly.

But why do women multitask? We know why men juggle, because they want to have a variety of sexual partners. Don’t believe that hogwash about needing intellectual stimulation and all that balderdash, men juggle women because they want a variety of sex.

So why do women multitask? My research pointed to basic economics, but also a need to feel wanted and needed by men. Not one, but two men are in love with her and would do anything to please her. How thrilling. What more could a young woman want?

There’s also the sense of power, to know that a small, seemingly fragile female can have two big strong men at her beck and call, doing her bidding and catering to her needs. Then add the thrill of the drama and she’s on top of the world as she has to hone her time management skills working out schedules, timetables and such.

But she has to lie, for tangled webs of deception have to be covered by prevarication. Yes, sadly, one prerequisite of multitasking is the art of lying, as every relationship dealing with multiple partners is fuelled by deception and lies. Those lies are the glue that holds the deck of cards together.

Then there is the sex. It’s not only men who enjoy having sex with multiple partners, but many women do too, and that’s part of why they multitask.

“I love both of them and I love having sex with both of them equally.”

Now, men juggle just to have sex, that’s their ultimate goal, their reward, their fulfilment. But many female multitaskers put that skill to good use and make the whole enterprise profitable.

“Yes, I put my sexual ability to good use and make it worth my while.”

We have all heard about the female multitaskers who profit from having multiple partners orbiting around them like planets orbit the Sun. Each of those planets has a specific function such as paying the rent, utilities, food, clothing, transport, and schooling.

As far-fetched as it may seem to those of you who live in a bulb, those multitasking women exist, and they are skilled at what they do. If you want a job done properly, let a woman do it. Juggling is done by circus clowns, but multitasking is a skilled art form.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Mr Carey Robinson, a media giant, has passed at the age of 97. He has more than made his mark on the media landscape and as a historian, having written many books. He was my first boss at the Jamaica Information Service where he was executive director. Even now I remember my interview for the job with fondness, for he was a kind, decent man. Mr Robinson guided and moulded my career as a young producer/director and ensured that I paid keen attention to the medium of television and scriptwriting. He was instrumental in guiding me when I wrote and produced the TV series Life With The Littles for JIS TV. Many years later he had so much faith in me that he asked me to direct the five-part mini series Flashpoint 38 which chronicled the industrial revolt in Jamaica in 1938. It’s still being shown every Labour Day here. He dedicated many pages to me in his book, Memoirs of a Jamaican Media Man. I owe Mr. Robinson so much for his guidance and encouragement. May he RIP.