Restoring self-worth to the Jamaican man
Dear Editor,
Life happens in dark humour sometimes, and we are often compelled to laugh at our misfortunes.
Here’s an example. As I sat muddling over my single mom status while scrolling through the news, the headline ‘Gentlemen of Kingston tackles negative stereotype of Jamaican men’ loomed on my screen. Despite my current frame of mind, I was immediately impressed by the amazingly artistic ensembles worn by these men. Vintage charm with a modern edge wore elegantly on these fine Jamaican specimens.
The article was carried recently in the June 6, 2022 edition of the Jamaica Observer and was focused on projecting a more positive image of our men by launching leading men into the public space. I applaud the initiative and beg for resounding encores in many corners of Jamaica where little light has been shed on the value of men, of fathers in our society.
As a third generation single mom, I have come to understand, day by day, how greatly and adversely this phenomenon affects us as a nation.
In a 2016 edition of the Observer, then minister of national security named paternal neglect as one of the leading contributors to crime and violence. A staggering 40 per cent of Jamaican households are headed by single mothers. If a significant number of these mothers are uneducated and earning below the poverty line, imagine the likely outcome of the children that they rear.
That absent fathers are not unique to Jamaica is no reason for it to be treated slightly. While Jamaica is globally renowned for its culture, music, and athletic prowess, it does not expunge our reputation for being purveyors of every species of criminality; no, we’re not the worst, but it doesn’t look good. We can do better.
I believe an urgent agenda needs to be forged to help each man to manage. The role of a father/husband is indeed a management position which is often poorly executed due to lack of training. Men need to be empowered. Young men enter into fatherhood not knowing the rules of engagement and since they are not the ones with the umbilical ties, running becomes easy when the threads of the relationship begin to loosen.
There are good men in Jamaica, but so many suffer from childhood trauma, fear of losing, and feelings of inferiority that they cannot see their worth as valuable and equal partners in parenthood. As a result, the slavery designation of “black buck” is still quite pervasive in the minds of our men. Mothers are guilty of accommodating this mindset. Social influencers are also guilty. We cannot continue to promote irresponsible behaviour as entertainment and not suffer the backhand of it all.
In the words of Fredrick Douglas, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Many of our men are broken; in their brokenness, they break their families; they break society. I challenge the social scientists, the pastors, people in ‘helping’ professions to restore the true image of the man in society and hopefully we can retire the mannequins.
Suzette Kerr
suekerrbrown@yahoo.com