Hear my soul speak;

The very instant that I saw you,

Did my heart fly to your service.

— Shakespeare

In other words, him skin catch a fire when he first saw her. The very instant that I saw you, the very instant, just like an electric shock, that’s when it happens, the attraction comes immediately.

But first the person has to like what he or she sees, and the object in his line of sight had better be worth looking at. She has to be checkable. I say she, because men are usually the ones who are ruled by the optics, looking to see if the woman is worth checking or not.

Now, in case you aren’t aware, the term checkable, when applied to women, comes from the slang check, which means to pursue, to put argument to, to have a desire for, to want.

“Yow, baby, me check fi yu you, know.”

So if she’s worth checking, she’s desirable, one who is worth his while, one who he can be interested in. It really means that she’s worth the effort, still on the market and not yet on the back shelf.

It does sound a tad misogynistic, doesn’t it, even bordering on sexist, but ironically it’s a woman who brought this to my attention a few weeks ago. I hadn’t seen her in decades, and when I commented how the years had been good to her and that she still retained her looks, her reply was, “I’m still checkable, huh?”

And thus begins my spiel about who is checkable or not and what makes someone checkable, right after we check out these responses to what I had to say about ‘Slow dance with the devil’.

Hi Tony,

I would imagine that those whose Christian faith is strong are not prone to dance with the devil, and I wonder if it is those of supposedly unwavering faith in their religion who are the target and taken as a challenge. Or would it be those weak of mind who are easily taken to the dance floor. I often find myself in various discussions with friends, and love to play the devil’s advocate, but the devil made me do it.

Winston

Hey Teerob,

What you didn’t mention was that the slow dance with the devil brought so much pleasure, and that’s why people will keep on going back for more and hold on so tightly that they both become as one. There will be no shortage of partners for that slow dance with the devil. Regarding your footnote about the Rastafarians and their immense contribution to Jamaican culture, you are so correct. Rastas have basically put Jamaica on the world stage. Just look at the influence and recognition of Bob Marley. You may have a bald head, but you are truly conscious.

Princess T

Okay, so who is checkable and what makes someone checkable? It’s simple really; someone who catches your eye, titillates your senses, makes your desire jump, your heart skip a beat and your loins leap is definitely checkable.

“Man, who is that lady, she look checkable!”

In many cases it’s spoken as a compliment, especially if the woman is supposedly up in age, not too youthful, but still desirable.

“She married long time and divorced now with three children, but she still checkable.”

Oh yes, not yet put out to pasture, not yet the last loaf on the shelf of the discards that nobody wants, but still has the goods to attract men.

What, though, are the attributes that make her checkable? First it’s looks, but not only looks, for some women are beautiful but not checkable. More on that later.

Men are visual creatures, and what he sees is what he likes, and if he likes what he sees, then that’s checkable.

“The first time I laid eyes on her my heart went flip flop.”

But remember, it’s not just looks, for if she has characteristics that are negative, then those just nullify what checkability she may have. Man, I’m making up words as I go along. If she’s, aggressive, miserable, cantankerous, obnoxious, then that makes her most uncheckable, but unfortunately those won’t be discovered until long after. Remember the song by Chakka Demus and Pliers with the lyrics ‘Pretty face and bad character’?

But there are other attributes that make a woman checkable, such as sensuality. Too many women call down age upon themselves and shed all visages of sensuality that they once had. They dress dowdy like old church sisters, or like retired country school teachers, and have no sensuality or sexuality at all.

Those are the uncheckables, and they repel men more effectively than pepper spray.

“I wouldn’t even give her a second look, she’s so uncheckable.”

Whether you want to believe it or not, when a man first sees a woman, the very first rapid reaction that travels from eyes to brain, to heart, to pituitary gland, to loins, is whether she’s checkable or not.

It’s maybe quicker than a computer calculating complex calculus. It doesn’t matter who she is or what her station in life is, the rapid response after seeing her is whether she’s checkable or not.

Do you think that when she gets up to speak in Parliament, or gives that lecture at the university, or defends that man in court, or even speaks at the pulpit, that men don’t think, “She looks fine, very checkable.”

It has its genesis in desire and no matter how you may want to sweep it under the carpet, it’s a reality that men experience every day of their lives. The secret irony is, most women seem to love the idea of being checkable, even though they might not admit to it publicly. Remember, women spend half of their time trying to look attractive to men.

“Imagine, I was in the supermarket and this man told me how attractive I looked.”

But checkable has sexual undertones. Just substitute the word doable for checkable and you’ll see that my theory makes sense. If that wasn’t so, that lady who I hadn’t seen in years wouldn’t have referred to herself as being checkable. In other words, she still thinks that she’s doable. So checkable means doable.

This applies even to the mothers and aunts of friends of yours. You may meet your friend’s mother for the first time and get blown away, smitten by how checkable she looks.

“Hey Norman, is your mother that, man she look checkable.”

There was even a song about that by Fountains of Wayne. The name is Stacy’s Mom.

‘Stacy’s mom has got it going on,

She’s all I want

And I’ve waited for so long

Stacy can’t you see?

You’re just not the girl for me

I know it might be wrong

But I’m in love with Stacy’s mom.’

Still, that can lead to a very awkward situation. I remember having female teachers back in high school who we all thought were very checkable. This led to many nervous grins, sweaty palms, shaking legs whenever they entered the classroom.

“Why is Robinson grinning like that?”

“He says that you look checkable, Miss.”

But in the same way that some women can remain checkable, is the very same way that they can make that quantum leap to being uncheckable. Back in the day she used to be a fox, more than enticing, intriguing, inviting, attractive. But somewhere along the way, that lustre was lost, the shine came off the ball, the crackers lost its crunch and what was once checkable, now became uncheckable.

Many men have recoiled in disbelief when they encountered a lady who they once had their eyes on years ago.

“Man, I dodged a bullet with that one, escaped by the skin of my teeth when she went away.”

Apparently, the years took its toll on her and she was no longer checkable.

“Can you imagine if I had hooked up with her, people would think that she’s my aunt.” Nobody wants someone who carries down age upon themselves.

“Boy, she’s only 45 but acts as if she’s 75, very uncheckable.”

Now, I’m sure that many people, mostly women, will take offence to what I’m saying about being checkable or not, but I am not the originator or author of the concept, just the harbinger of tidings.

“When you walk into a room, you have the grace and gravitas of an empress, and I swear, even the Deities must pause to look at you.” — Amelie Wen Zhao.

“There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.” — Helena Rubenstein.

Strangely, I haven’t heard many women refer to men as being checkable. Is that because men don’t seem to have a limited shelf life as women are perceived to have? A man can cruise through life and still be on the market even while up in age.

“My, he still looks good.”

The word checkable connotes desirability, lusting after, wanting, perceived and potential availability. So tell me, do you want to be classed as checkable or not?

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Nothing is more important than a person’s health, and yet so many people find it difficult to maintain it. They say that money can’t buy life, but it can certainly help to maintain it. In some countries such as Canada and also many in Europe, health care is free. Not so in the USA and in Jamaica where health insurance is essential for the survival of many people. Much to the shock and dismay of many people here, health insurance premiums have gone through the roof, some increasing by 100 per cent. The health care providers blame it on COVID-19 and the high rate of claims. Whatever the reason, it’s a crippling blow to many people, especially the older ones.