Value means to appreciate, estimated worth of, to regard, or the principles or standards of behaviour. Loyalty means being faithful to a cause, leader, Government, or group.

In our society today there seems to be an enmity between loyalty and what can be deemed as acceptable standards of behaviour. With boldness this comes out in the way we think, our language, and tone of expressions towards each other. Such intra- and inter-personal communication are negatively impacting the established systems that governs our nation with no remorse. Even when wrong, people with sternness remind you of their rights and that they will not be denied thereof. They will be the first to preach about the evidence of low moral values and abruptly caution on who has lost the moral authority to speak. They will be the first to squeal about injustice towards them while ironically they who chant about the importance of good values have no loyalty to others, including leaders, institutions, groups, or any established system.

How can we expect others to value us, our views, and our efforts when we, too, show little or no regard for others? How can we expect others to be loyal to us when we ourselves are deceitful and at times go to the extreme to expose or tarnish others? When will we consider our ways and how our actions are impacting others? Instead we mislead and sway many with comforting words, as Delilah did to Samson, for them to reveal secrets then in turn use those secrets to manipulate and destroy.

The value of a good friendship or relationship has depreciated in our society to an all-time low, whereby deception, sadly, is the order of the day. As such, people no longer have a heart or give thought to each other. People enjoy pretending to be what they are not because they want to capitalise on the resources, knowledge, and/or skills of others or, in simple terms, piggyback on the substance of others.

Proverbs 27:6 (Amplified version) says: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda.”

Many people who are buried in the cemetery did not get there because of age or sickness or by natural means, but because of the kisses of an enemy. A friend they thought they had became a betrayer and was the instigator of their demise. Sometimes it is because of envy, covetousness, and jealousy. Your friend, who sleeps, laughs, eats, and drinks with you is the one who, in their heart, is utterly bitter against you because of your upward mobility and achievements.

In the Bible, Joseph, the son of Jacob, experienced this same ordeal as a young man. He had 11 brothers who hated him because his father loved him more. Today, if someone has 11 brothers and they all hated him, we would immediately think and whisper something is wrong with that person. But Joseph’s brothers hatred was as a result of jealousy, which led them to plot against him. They threw him in a pit and when they realised he was still alive, they decided to sell him to the merchants from Egypt to get rid of him because he was his father’s favourite. To make matters worse, Joseph told them of a dream he had of his brothers bowing to him; they thought to themselves that, that would never happen so they had to get rid of him.

I refer to people with that disposition or nature as household enemies. Jealousy is as cruel as the grave and many people’s lives have been cut short because they told their dreams and aspirations to an enemy who they thought was a friend.

On the other hand, there are genuine friends who will stick closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 (King James version) says: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” In other words, there are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother, even when it seems as if loyalty is nonexistent, you can still find a friend who loves at all times and a brother who helps in times of need.

Truly, the value of loyalty can only be attained when in humility we value others above ourselves and seek to bring out the best in another person. This we ought to do as often as we can by influencing others towards greatness while being truthful. It’s often said that the truth is an offence, but being honest with someone about their bad behaviour does not necessarily mean we should insult or cause shame. However, we should attempt to inspire change by outlining the goodness that can be achieved while illustrating that they are denying themselves from achieving greatness and success when they do not adhere to standards of good behaviour. A person will thank you for your honesty, even if it’s not said, and they will be loyal to you for pointing them to the good they can be when they were ignorant about it.

Notwithstanding that, respect the views and opinions of others, especially when they go against your own conviction. The truth sometimes hurts when it is revealed, but faithful are the wounds of a friend. A friend may not always tell you what you want to hear, it may not make you feel good, it may not be celebrating your act or words spoken, it may come across as being a reprimand or correction, but it is in moments like these the true value of a friend is revealed and such friendship should be watered with loyalty.

On the other hand, Bob Marley said, “Man to man is so unjust, children, you don’t know who to trust. Your worst enemy could be your best friend and your best friend you worst enemy. Some may eat and drink with you, then behind they su-su pon you.” A friend who refrains from telling you the truth, in essence, does not have your best interest at heart. Rise above your emotions and examine carefully what is being said, especially when it is being spoken in a constructive manner, with humility and with love. Value such a friend because, as the Bible says, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth…” In other words, your friend is correcting you because they love you and want the best for you.

Do not get upset or uncomfortable when your friend is attempting to point you in the right direction; they mean you well. At the same time, the value of loyalty to such a friendship must never be contaminated because of ill feelings and foolish pride. Instead, such a friend should be rewarded with loyalty. Stick close to each other, be faithful, have each other’s back with the modest ingredient of honesty. This will always nurture the value of loyalty that is needed within every society for the prosperity of the nation.

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