If money goes before

All ways do lie open.

— Shakespeare

MONEY doth make the mare run. It takes cash to care. With money all things are possible. The love of money is the root of all evil. The lack of money is the root of all evil. Take your pick, money is at the core of almost everything — good and bad— and so are women. So it’s only natural that both go hand in hand, for where one goes the other will certainly follow.

Let’s play with the second line of that quote above and substitute the word “ways” for doors, windows, paths or legs. Have some fun with it.

Now, I know that I’ll be in big trouble regarding the title of today’s column for, after all, it’s certainly not true that all women love money as surely there must be a few who do not. But enough do, the majority, most do, and so this makes my point a valid one.

When you find them, let me know. This all stemmed from what I said about young women loving older men a few weeks ago.

“All women love men with money, and no young woman loves a poor old man.”

Who told me to say that? The cussing that I got from all and sundry females could make a sailor blush.

“How could you say all women love men with money….maybe some, maybe many, but not all?”

Umbrage was taken. The irony is, when I wrote many years ago that ‘All men are dogs’ I did not get the condemnation or righteous indignation that I got now, as so many women jumped gleefully and chortled their approval. “Yes, all a dem is dog.”

But just because I pointed my pen at women loving money, all hell broke loose. Well, I stand by my findings, as we’ll see right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Coercive tactics for sex’.

Hi Tony,

Most women have no need for coercive tactics for sex. Most times I merely dress seductively and do a little flirting. A short skirt and a tight blouse with ample cleavage showing will do the trick, no coercion required — at least not on my part. Sometimes I get the man thinking that he is coercing me, just to stroke his ego. They are so eager, the performance ends quickly, with me faking it. Not much coercion needed from me, or with me.

Janet

Hey Tony,

It’s all a game, and I often wonder who is coercing who. I want it, she knows that I want it. She wants it, but she can’t let me know that she wants it. So, I have to do a song and dance and jump through hoops just to get what both of us want. But she can’t admit to wanting it. How coercively complicated.

Roger

Women love money — and that’s a fact of life — so much so that many phrases have been expressed about the female affinity for funds and finances. Some are not too flattering, such as gold digger, money grabber, and others that are really disparaging. But the fact remains, when it comes to money, women’s eyes light up and they salivate like Pavlov’s dogs.

We all know about Pavlov’s dogs, right? Animals that develop a conditioned reflex and respond to a stimulus — such as a bell ringing — right before they are fed. After a while they associate the bell ringing with food so as soon as they hear a bell they jump up and down in a feeding frenzy, even if no food is presented. Hence the term: conditioned reflex.

Ivan Pavlov was the scientist who conducted that experiment. Are women like that? Does the very hint, suggestion, mention or promise of money make them jump up and down in a frenzy and salivate in anticipation of being romanced?

“See boops deh, mek we nyam him out.”

I know that I’m in even more trouble now but what I’m saying is not new; it has been expressed by many long before I even existed. Recently, while channel surfing, I came across the game show Family Feud with Steve Harvey. One question was put forward, “We asked a hundred men: ‘What do women love the most, apart from men?’ ” Well, the number one answer was money, and even though the poll was not scientific it summed up and gave a general view of the sentiments, perception, and reality that women love money.

Now, of course, not every single woman in the world loves men with money or are money-grabbing gold diggers who set out to relieve men of their hard-earned cash, but many are. Some aren’t though, and rely on their own resources to fend for themselves without the assistance of men.

Single mothers fall into this category, and that’s because they are resilient, independent and resourceful — but that’s not to say that they wouldn’t choose a man with money over a man who has none. I’m yet to hear a woman say, “I don’t want you because you have too much money.” But I have heard women say, “Me nuh want him, him don’t even have two cents in his pocket.”

I put it to those women: If you had a choice of marrying a handsome man who is dirt poor and nuh live nuh weh, or a dumpy, wrinkly ugly old man who is as wealthy as a sheik and lives in a mansion, who would you choose? I rest my case. But no, I won’t rest my case, for I have more facts to corroborate my findings. Who would you prefer that your daughter marry the coconut vendor on the street or the doctor or lawyer, even though the vendor is a nice, decent young man who looks like a model?

Some women may take umbrage and see it as a negative view but it’s simply being practical, and women are practical beings. So when I say that all women love men with money, take it as a good thing for it means that they’re being smart and looking out for themselves.

Maybe I could have couched it a bit differently and said, “All women love men with earning potential.” But that doesn’t roll off the tongue like all women love money, which certainly got your attention. Plus, there are a few women who actually support men financially, just to have a man.

Money is a means to independence, money is a way out, money is a tool for survival, and some women use their assets to achieve all that. Some may go to the extreme and are downright vulgar with their behaviour, like those young women who target and get those old wealthy men to marry them. Maybe those were the ones who I was referring to in a negative tone when I said that all women love men with money.

And who says that it’s negative? For if those old guys want to splash their cash on the young lass then that’s their call, nobody forced them to do it. Who says that money can’t but love? Well it buys something, even the semblance of love.

“I know that I’m 80 years old and she’s 24, but I know that she loves me.”

“Money and women, they’re the two strangest things in the world. There are things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige.

“Money only impresses lazy girls. When a woman works hard a man with money is a bonus — not a ladder to upgrade.”

“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” — Lana Turner.

“People say I’m a gold digger but do you see me wearing gold? No, I’m wearing diamonds.” — Anna Benson.

“Quit calling women gold diggers when you don’t have any money.”

We’ve all seen so many of those women that they overshadow the others and dominate the scenario of those young girls and women who marry men in their 80s and declare, “I love him for who he is, not for his money.” If he was old and destitute would she have married him? I saw in the news where actor Al Pacino is having his fourth child at age 83 with his girlfriend who is 29. I guess she really loves him, huh?

And yet some women take me to task when I point out that women love money and love men who have money. Remember this song, Diamonds are a girl’s best friend?

The French are glad to die for love

They delight in fighting duels

But I prefer a man who lives

And gives expensive jewels

A kiss may be grand

But it won’t pay the rental

On your humble flat

Or help you at the automat

Men grow cold

As girls grow old

And we all lose our charms

in the end

A kiss on the hand may be

quite continental

But diamonds are a girl’s best

friend.

— Marilyn Monroe.

So, all men are dogs and all women love men with money. Maybe that’s why they say a dog is man’s best friend, but diamonds are a girl’s best friend. That’s just the way it goes. More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: I have never believed in chance or happenstance but contend rather that things are meant to be and the universe is in sync with our existence. If you notice, numbers and dates usually play a big part in people’s lives — such as the number 5 or 7 being pivotal, or certain dates such as when people die on their children’s birthday, or babies born on grandpa’s birthday, and such. Well, just last week a friend of mine went to his mother’s house and needed some old newspapers to wrap an item. He went into her bedroom and picked up a paper from underneath a huge pile. Lo and behold, it was one of my columns from 1997, 26 years ago. What are the odds of that happening? That’s no coincidence. The universe unfolds.