Dear Editor,

As the new academic year draws closer and we prepare ourselves to deal with the challenges of indiscipline among our student population, I want to share a few tips that parents can use in the homes that would help to create more disciplined children at school.

It is a fact that a child’s first school is the home, but unfortunately many of our children are abused and demeaned at home through poor disciplinary structures. Many parents see corporal punishment as the only way to discipline their children.

It is my humble opinion as a parent and an educator that corporal punishment is not an effective way of disciplining a child. I believe corporal punishment violates the rights of children in regard to their physical integrity. No child should have to suffer physical injury or experience violence as a means of discipline. Corporal punishment can teach a child that violence is an acceptable and appropriate way to resolve conflicts. Corporal punishment can also teach a child that when they are angry and upset, they should use aggression. Think about it!

I know that children differ in character traits and everything has context. However, if we properly train our children there will be commonalities in their behaviour, and our expectations of them ought to be much the same. We can’t continue to ill-treat and abuse our children and justify the abuse with misguided religious interpretations of what it means to discipline. There are many reasons children display inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour. Among the major reasons, I have discovered, is a lack of proper supervision and structures in the homes. Children may also lack attention and affection at home and feel unloved and rejected by the way they are treated.

Oftentimes, children do not know socially appropriate behaviour because there are no good examples at home and there is no readily available avenue to gain practice in what is socially acceptable. For example, a child will use a line of expletives in front of a teacher or member of staff and when the child is being reprimanded, his/her response is, “So ah wah mi do?” Obviously, the child lacks practice in socially acceptable behaviour at home.

There are simple, positive ways to teach, encourage, correct, and discipline children which are better for their total development than exercising corporal punishment. The first way of maintaining discipline, which I always encourage, is to first love your child and have a good relationship with him/her. Parent-child relationships have a greater and more positive impact on discipline than corporal punishment or other forms of coercion. Using effective and appropriate forms of discipline in homes is not dependent on our economic, social, religious, or educational status. Everyone can practise proper parenting and it starts with love for our children.

In order to prevent maladaptive behaviour in children as they grow, parents should start to teach good behaviour from early and model the behaviour for children to emulate. As parents we must establish rules that make sense and are easy to follow. Make sure we explain the rules and why our children need to obey them. We should praise and commend our children whenever they follow through with a request or positive behaviour. We should talk to them about school and take an interest in their education. Be consistent and firm with the consequences we establish for breaking rules. We should always be an example of self-control and never give in to our children’s protests.

We should get to know our children’s best friends and who they hang out with. I am not suggesting that we become “helicopter” parents, but we need to know our children’s whereabouts and set boundaries for them.

I must commend the Ministry of Education and Youth for initiating parenting seminars in our schools last academic year. I am making an appeal that these parenting seminars continue throughout this academic year. Surely our parents need these empowerment sessions.

I believe that if we start with discipline in the homes through shared partnership between school and home, we can remake our school’s disciplinary standing to be the prism of wholesome behaviour rather than the constant manifestation of personal aggression and indiscipline. It will take collective effort, but we can do it.

I wish all stakeholders in education a successful academic year. The word is always love!

Andre’ A O Wellington

Dean of Discipline

Alston High School

andrewellington344@yahoo.com