What a piece of work is a man,

How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties,

In form and moving, how express and admirable in action,

How like an angel in apprehension,

How like a god!

— Shakespeare

Now, if that quote above doesn’t make the heads of men swell to gigantic proportions, then nothing will. Read it again, show it to your woman and have her recite it loudly and see the superfluous praises expressed, regarding men, culminating in the last four words, ‘How like a god.’

Not like God, mind you, but like a god. But is that really true? Well, I think not, for most men fall short in many areas and certainly do not display those admirable characteristics, do not live up to those lofty descriptions, but are wanting in many areas.

Still, it’s nice to hear it expressed so eloquently. But they do say that no man is a hero to his servant, in the same way that a prophet is of no honour in his own country and that’s why many men do not hear those praises from their women and are not heroes to them, as all their flaws are exposed to the person most near and dear to them.

“All my woman do is cuss me every day.”

“Honey, you saw this what Shakespeare wrote about me?”

“Ha, him must have been drinking, you lazy good for nothing bum.”

Ouch! She didn’t have to bring him back down to Earth so hard. But the truth is, a man’s world isn’t all that it would appear to be, but is fraught with all sorts of crosses, insecurities, challenges, as we’ll see right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Lonely men’.

Hi Tony,

I don’t know if it’s because I am getting old, but at times I go in the opposite direction, the opposite of loneliness. For me, that’s when I’m delighted not to feel obligated to participate in social events that don’t interest me. There are times when I just want to be alone, quietly read a book or watch an event on TV without someone distracting me. As I write this, my wife is somewhere in the house doing her thing. Ah, peace and quiet.

Richard

Hello Tony,

There is a distinct difference between lonely and being alone. Many men choose to be alone because they’re always on the prowl, looking for the next woman to come along. When she doesn’t, they end up being lonely, for the clock is ticking, and who he wants doesn’t want him. Sad, pathetic and lonely.

Winsome

They say that it’s a man’s world. In fact, James Brown even sang about it, although he did add that the man’s world is not complete unless there’s a woman in it. And yet, women complain that it’s a man’s world and men get all the breaks. But is that really true?

Maybe that was the case back in the day, many years ago, when women had very little say, but women have made so many strides nowadays that men are starting to feel a bit insecure, intimidated and perhaps even emasculated, as the ladies have not only caught up, but passed men in many areas.

Some may say that it’s not quick enough, others may disagree, insisting that women have gone too far and now want to subjugate men, push them to the sidelines, relegate them to the cellar, and even do without them. A woman told me recently that men are weak and have become soft for allowing women to get so much power. Yes, a woman told me that.

In these emotionally perilous times, men could very well be on the endangered species list, as they’re finding it more and more difficult to cope. When a boy approaches puberty and is on the cusp of manhood, he’s in a whole heap of trouble. That’s because in many cases he has no male role model to emulate, as the mother is the dominant gender that oversees his development and upbringing.

His father may be absent, or simply can’t be bothered to contribute to moulding the boy as he should. Maybe he doesn’t know what to do, or perhaps he just can’t be bothered to fight with the mother who insists on spoiling the boy rotten. So how can that boy develop into a man, if there’s no male example to emulate? How can he survive in a man’s world if he’s not a man?

Anyway, the boy grows up and stumbles through life, either limp and wimpy, or cruel and aggressive as he tries to compensate for the lack of male influence and the overabundance of female domination. Despite this, he must become a man, for it’s a man’s world and men must be men. Many crime experts have indicated that many criminals follow the path of crime in the footsteps of their fathers, even if he’s absent. If the father was a bad man, then more than likely the boy will follow suit, for it’s what he sees, hears and knows.

Yes, we are men, and men must do what men must do. And what do men do? Back in the day it was rabble rousing, drinking, and being rowdy. Very little has changed. In this man’s world, men must play the field and have as many women as they can, and as many children as they can too. After all, it’s a man’s world and a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. At least that’s the conventional thought of many men.

If you observe some men in certain areas of society or even some professions, you’ll see that they have a multitude of children with a trailer load of women. They multiply, and it all adds up. There are some deejays who boast of having 20, 25 or up to 27 children with different women, for it’s a man’s world.

Ironically, in this man’s world, a man should not show any form of affection towards his woman, or he’ll be deemed to be weak.

“The only time I kiss her is when I ready to do my thing, no other time.”

“Me cyan bother with the movies kissy kissy business, I just jump in the saddle and ride like a cowboy.”

“Hold her hand while walking? No way, only idiot man do that.”

But living in a man’s world can be filled with irony, for even though a man will not show any form of affection towards his woman, privately or publicly, he also dare not show any form of affection to his male friends. Not even a handshake, but a fist bump, not even a hug, but a shoulder bounce.

“Say what! Hug man? Yuh must be mad!”

Remember that I wrote about that infamous kiss and how it got that Spanish football official in a whole heap of trouble? Well, can you just imagine what would have happened if it was a man who he kissed? I did point out that in some Eastern societies men can kiss on the cheek briefly as a form of greeting or salutation.

But here’s the irony, in this man’s world, where machismo is king, those same men, even right here in Jamaica where it’s a huge man’s world, will shower affection on each other whenever they attend sporting activities.

Whenever their team scores a goal they will hug and embrace each other, friends, family or even complete strangers, right there in broad daylight for all the world to see. We have all seen it, grown men hugging each other at the National Stadium or while watching World Cup matches, jumping up and down and hugging each other as if in a tribal dance. Just because a goal was scored.

“Daddy, who was that man who hug you up so?”

“I don’t know son, but goal score, goal.”

It gets worse, for the football players themselves who exist in this man’s world will throw away all vestiges of machismo and get very affectionate after a goal is scored. Not only will they take off their shirts and run up and down the field, but they will embrace their teammates, hugging them, slapping them on their behind, jumping up into their arms, wrapping their legs around them like a lap dancer would, even kiss each other and jumping on top of each other like in an orgy. Just because a goal was scored? Go figure.

We see it all the time during foreign football matches, and we also see it right here among our players too. After the match it’s back to normalcy, where man nah touch nuh man, for it’s a man’s world and man don’t take nuh check.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: I see where DPP Paula Llewellyn is calling for stiffer penalties for murderers. I applaud that, for a message has to be sent. I also see where Jamaicans For Justice is calling for less severe sentences for convicted murderers. What message is being sent there? As the consequences for crime get less severe so does the boldness of criminals, for they have no fear of the system. They can even bargain for discounted sentences if they plead guilty. This starts in the schools, where children can no longer be punished for their transgressions, so they have no regard for authority and will even fight teachers with very little consequences. We see what’s happening in the schools nowadays and yet many wonder why. Well, for every inaction there is a violent action. It’s going to get worse.