ONE day recently when I was on pick-up duties for my daughter, to make best use of the time and also to avoid the traffic in the late afternoon, I took her to a popular park where we sat, with me overseeing her doing homework. The idea was to get the homework out of the way so that when she got home she would just shower and go to bed. While we were there discussing the homework, there were a number of people who stopped, stared, and positively commented on me as a father doing academic work with my child.

“It’s a good look, Daddy!…Need more fathers like you!…Very commendable!”

Ok then!

I kind of found it strange because what I was doing was what I always did and figured is an expectation of fathers. Unlike many other children, my daughter does not have the luxury of grandparents to supplement her learning and development. You see, I am now an orphan, and my wife’s mom passed last year and her dad has had sustained illness. Therefore, given that I love my child very much, I do all I can towards her excelling. As much as I know, I try to share with her — age appropriately. As a matter of fact, it’s a joy to extend myself to learn and relearn information I can then pass on to her. So, for example, having just turned five years old and just starting grade one, I would have worked with my child from kindergarten to know up to her five-times table. It’s less about what school is teaching but more about what she can absorb.

As I always say, my child learns 60 per cent at home and 40 elsewhere. So, for example, I have been working with my daughter to do complex mathematical equations way above her level, from even kindergarten. I try to teach her good diction, podium and presentation skills…good general stage presence. Everyday and all the time, it’s an opportunity to learn.

How long is drive time to and from school ? Use that time to dialogue with your child. Do some spelling and phonics. Talk about life with your child during drive time. Let her try and read the signs on the road. Teach your child new songs, and sing old ones as well. Find ways to make learning fun and for it not to be a burden.

As a father I am interested and invested in the fulsome development of my child, including her emotional health and protection. Every evening I question my daughter about her day — open ended and close-ended questions: How was school? When X happened/s, how did/do you feel? I am invested in my daughter’s emotions. From as early as she was one year old I’ve always told her she is bright, she is bold, and she is beautiful with awesome black skin. My child is less likely to be impacted by any negative thing another says because my wife and I have taught her to have a position on herself and not necessarily adopt what anyone else says about her — especially if same is not positive. These are things I expect all parents to do, including fathers. There should be no additional commendation for a parent doing things to advance the life of his child. Parents should do their best to make the next generation better!

I play with my child, and I’m a firm believer that my daughter should get sufficient play time. So, on occasion, my wife and I, as well as our daughter, play hide and seek at home. We also let her use the fun park at home or we take her to one. Likewise, we either go swimming at the beach or bicycle riding, swinging, or running in the beach park near our home. As a family, one of the games we play together also is dominoes. At five years old she plays very well and, believe it or not, she has given me the proverbial “6-love” on a couple occasions. Recently, as a family, we have started Sunday roller skating as well. Let your child have good play time and, likewise, you should play with your child.

Also, I am likely to be the parent to initiate buying things (clothes, books, toys) for our daughter. Sometimes when I come home with my purchases, my sweetie-pie rare gem of a wife will frown at me as if to say, “Another one again?!” But hey, I am that kind of daddy.

Now, with all that, you would think my daughter is a daddy’s girl. Not at all! Nobody to her like her mummy! I have never seen a child love her mummy like my child loves her mom! When she was just learning to speak I used to sneak around behind mummy and teach her to say “Daddy” and so, yes, she did call daddy’s name first — but that’s all I got. It’s all mummy. And while I may be more stern I still think I am a fun daddy but still…mummy gets first place with her. So it is! My love is unconditional, however.

Before she was born I wrote a letter to my daughter to say that whether or not I am her favourite parent, she better love her mom who, like other mothers, took the deliberate decision to physically carry her for nine months. That’s a sacrifice that must be greatly appreciated and celebrated — and one which a father cannot replicate.

As a father I love my daughter very much and will continue to do all I can to enhance her development, including the spiritual, academic and emotional. Isn’t this what all daddies should do, too?

Garfield Goulbourne is a parent and PTA president at Holy Childhood Preparatory School. E-mail him at garfieldgoulbourne@yahoo.com.