Dear Editor,

As we approach the final lap of 2023 in this Roman calendar year, many people will dedicate some time to evaluating the past 12 months. And while many are happy about the wins they have had, some are equally disappointed with certain decisions they have made.

Consequently, they have already started to devise plans to not repeat certain disappointing actions in 2024. Based on some of my own personal experiences as well as stories shared with me, I wish to outline a few things that ought to be left in 2023.

1) Stop lending people your money: One of the worst decisions people make is to constantly lend their money to others. People, including family members, can be very unreasonable and dishonest. Oftentimes, because an individual lends another a sum of money it does not mean that the lender is rich. It simple means that the lender thought the borrower’s situation was a priority and, thus, was willing to make a sacrifice for him or her.

Unfortunately many borrowers fail to honour their repayment commitment. Two weeks become two years for many. It is, however, a sign of dishonesty, disregard, and disrespect for the lender.

Interestingly, the borrower sometimes has the audacity to come again and ask for additional money on an already-high debt. What is equally stunning is that the borrower often lives a more lavish lifestyle than the lender. Imagine being a lender who has never travelled and you wanted to take a trip next door to the Dominican Republic, but because you were not repaid your travel plans were not realised. Meanwhile, you see the borrower — who has travelled numerous times — going here and there and posting videos all over TikTok.

Financial experts advise that we should not lend more than what we are prepared to lose. We may lose friends and family members in 2024, but be careful not to allow them to ruin your projects and dreams by lending them your money.

2) Forced relationships: Relationships, whether intimate or platonic, require time and sacrifice. They also require common values and reciprocity. Many times relationships and friendships feel one-sided, but the dedicated one keeps forcing things to work; However, one hand cannot clap.

We need to know when to let go. Some bridges have to be burnt.

It makes no sense to remain in an emotionally draining and toxic relationship. Some people only contact you when they are in need of a favour. They are users. They have no genuine care about your well-being; they have no interest in your projects; they do not celebrate your wins. What then is their purpose? Free yourself from thinking that because an individual has done something meaningful for you in the past that you need to go out of your way each time to ensure that a friendship is maintained.

Additionally, keeping someone as a friend simply because you have known him or her since childhood or high school days does not weigh much if there is no true impact. Let us value quality over quantity.

3) Self-doubt: In my experience coaching and mentoring young people, I often come across many who constantly seek the validation of others in order to believe in themselves. I have come to realise that this is a struggle that is hard to surmount for many. Incontestably, it is good to be given genuine compliments, but it becomes problematic if at every step of the way one needs the approval of others. You have to learn to believe in yourself and in your capacities. So many people are walking around with much untapped potential, but they already believe they are defeated before even launching out. It is time to change that in 2024.

4) Lack of ambition and disorganisation: Some people have no vision or ambition. They settle for mediocrity. They have no plans for the future. Their line of argument is always “Life hard! Nothing naa gwaan.” That mindset alone is very telling. These people will not get far in life. They have no personal or professional ambitions. They accept everything that comes their way; however, they become jealous and ‘badmind’ when other people organise their lives and reap the benefits of being strategic. If you want good things, you have to hustle. Success comes to those who hunt it. It is time to do some introspection and prioritise your goals.

Undoubtedly, there are other things to add to this list, but I hope these pointers help those who are concerned.

As we are in the festive season, I wish for you and your loved ones happy holidays. Très belles fetes à tous!

Oneil Madden

maddenoniel@yahoo.com