Dear Mrs Macaulay,

I was dating a gentleman from Jamaica and the relationship ended. However, during our relationship I developed a bond with his 15-year-old daughter. He has since stopped taking caring of his daughter and his whereabouts are unknown. Her mother, who was diagnosed with cancer a year ago, is having a really hard time caring for her daughter.

The mother is willing to relinquish parental rights to me as she wants to make sure her daughter will be taken care of in case she doesn’t survive her diagnosis.

The father has stopped supporting the child and we are not certain about his whereabouts. He had moved to the United States with me, and we were both sending financial support for his daughter, but since we separated we have not heard from him.

What option does the mother have in this case?

I am so happy and proud of you for your attitude towards this young girl. The mother is clearly a loving mother who, in the circumstances, has clearly decided to make the sacrifice in order to ensure the very best for her child’s future. It is clear that she admires you for the caring relationship you had with her child, and this is admirable of you.

I am going to suggest, firstly, the quickest way which would enable you to have full care of the child as quickly as possible. This is that the mother must agree for you to apply for sole legal custody and care and control of her daughter to the Supreme Court here, and that your application by way of a fixed date claim form, supported by your affidavit in support and an affidavit of urgency, would name her as the respondent. This would mean that she is the defendant as you do not know where the father is.

You must, of course, retain the services of an attorney to prepare and appear with you (it would most likely be heard online); and the mother would need one also, who, after she is served with your application and affidavits, must prepare her affidavit in answer. Your application should give all your details and state what orders you are applying for and the grounds/reasons why. It is important that all the facts are put before the court, and as well as why the father is not named as a respondent. You should talk with your lawyer about advertising in one of our popular daily newspapers for information from anyone knowing his whereabouts. If this is done, it must be included in your affidavit — which should state what resulted from this action.

You would need a certified copy of the child’s birth certificate, which must be attached to your application or exhibited with your affidavit in support. You must also detail your relationship with the child, and I hope you and her mother would have spoken to her about you applying to be her sole legal custodian. This latter means that once this order is made, you would have the right to have her go and live with you, and that she agrees and wants this.

You would need an original, certified copy of the custody order for when you apply for the child to join you in the United States. In fact, I strongly suggest that you obtain several certified copies of the order as you will need more than one in the future. You must also include in your affidavit facts about your home and who else resides there with you, to show that you have adequate accommodation for her, what school she would attend, and if she will attend college thereafter (you must have contacted the school). Speak to her religious education and/or practice — this is very important. Also, you should demonstrate that you are financially sound and can afford to provide for the child, and that being in your care is and will be in her best interest.

The mother would need assistance to obtain her own attorney to ensure that, in her answer to your application and affidavit in support, she also details the facts and states why she agrees that you having custody of her child would be in her best interest. She must give clear details of her own personal situation.

After your application is granted and the child is with you, you and the mother can, if she is still alive, agree that you can adopt her, if this can be done before she is 18 years of age. In fact, you could apply for adoption at the same time as your application for custody and care and control is being dealt with. Or you and the mother can decide otherwise.

So, get yourself a lawyer as soon as you can. I see no reason why an application for sole legal custody and care and control should not succeed. But you should act now so that you can get a hearing date as soon as possible.

All the very best.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide personal responses.