WHEN the father of her children made two separate attempts to take her life, a mother of two knew she had to leave her abusive relationship — not just for her safety, but for the sake of her children who were constantly exposed to acts of violence.

The now-30-year-old said that she was in a 10-year-long relationship with a man who was not only her partner but the sole provider for her and her children. At first, she said the relationship was decent, but it turned sour after they hit the one-year mark together.

“He wanted to tell me where to go and tell me what to do. If I was talking to anybody, he would curse me, make noise, and beat me up. We were together for about 10 years and it lasted about seven years in the relationship,” she told the Jamaica Observer.

During her seven years of torture she recalled that there were days when the beatings were unbearable. However, she was unemployed with two children and had no other source of income.

She shared that one horrific incident which will never leave her is when she was preparing to go to downtown Kingston to purchase snacks for her four-year-old son, and he accused her of going to see another man.

“I said to him, ‘What you mean is a man I am going to look for?’ He put his hand around me from the back and choked me. I pushed back on him and we ended up in the next room. While he was choking me I fell on a bottle and burst my foot really badly. I had to go to the hospital and it was rough,” she recalled.

She said she had to get stitches and could barely move her leg. However, that did not stop him from continuing his abuse. The moment she was released from the hospital, she said things were back to square one.

In her early 20s at the time, she said she became very depressed and stressed.

“I didn’t know anything or how to look for a job so I was very depressed. I sat down and said, ‘Mi a guh really take this all of my life because he is taking care of the children.’ I cried daily, and would think that my kids are going to lose me one day because of this,” she told the Sunday Observer, adding that when he was not choking her, he was drawing a knife to stab her, or threatening to take her life.

Though she was being physically and emotionally abused, the young woman said it was the impact it had on her children — who would witness her abuse daily and be abused themselves — that gave her the strength to leave the relationship.

“Mostly my big son knew everything from when he was like four years old coming up. When me and him [the father of her child] were vexed, the kids come to me. If I called them and they came to me, he would beat them and tell them not to talk to me. He wouldn’t give me things to eat, but because he was providing and I didn’t have anything, when he gives [the children] things to eat the big one would hide and bring things come and give me. But, if he ever saw him do it he would beat him,” she shared.

She said witnessing her children experience abuse plunged her further into depression, also when they would comfort her after an abusive incident.

“Any time [my big son] saw me cry he would cry too and say, ‘Mommy, what happened to you?’ and I would cry and say, ‘I can’t take this thing anymore.’ Sometimes he would hide behind his father’s back and cuss him off and say, ‘Mi nuh like him,’ ” she shared, adding that it broke her to see her children develop such hatred in their hearts.

However, it was his first attempt at her life that really shook her to the core.

The victim recalled that she was with her friend and her friend’s boyfriend one night when they realised it was getting late. Because they lived in a volatile area, she said she decided to follow them half-way home.

“When I walked off, he appeared and said, ‘You don’t live anywhere?’ I said, ‘I soon come’. By the time I went up the road and came back, I saw him at the side of a building with a long knife. He said I was following my man up the road. I said, ‘You see me follow any man go up the road?’ My hair was braided at the time and when I was walking off he grabbed my hair from back way, and threw me down on the ground. He came over to me with the knife to stab me, and it was my friend who told him, ‘No, no, don’t do it!’ I went into the house the night and I was saying, ‘Look how I could’ve lost my life,’ ” she shared.

She said she reported the incident to the police, hoping that would bring an end to everything, but nothing happened, so she had to stay.

A few months later she said she was sitting outside with her friends and family members when he approached and asked her if she was not coming inside the house.

“By the time I could say, ‘I soon go in,’ he was like, ‘Get up nuh, get up nuh.’ My friend said to me, ‘Get up and gwaan.’ She was the one who stopped him from stabbing me the night, so I got up and went inside. My mind say, ‘Don’t go in your room, go in your sister’s room.’ When I went inside my sister’s room, I sat on the bed behind the door,” she said.

He pushed his head inside the room and had a broken bottle in hand, ready to stab her.

Luckily, her sister was quick to react and calmed him down. She recalled her grandmother shielding her, adamant that she would not allow him to lay a finger on her.

“That was the night I decided that I was going to call the police and tell them that I wanted to leave because I couldn’t take it anymore,” said the mom of two.

“If I [had] stayed another month, my kids would grow up without a mother,” she said.

After reporting the incident to the police, she said she went in search of a job and a safe place to house her children. She then mustered up the courage to take her abuser to court, where he was forced to answer for his crimes in front of a judge.

She said that she is now a free woman and finds comfort in her independence.

“I can go anywhere. Nobody is controlling me or telling me not to go. I can stand up and talk to anybody and not be afraid of anyone saying me and them were together or anything like that. I just felt free,” she said.

In an appeal to other mothers, she urged them to leave their abuser before it is too late, warning that they could lose their lives.

“Once you tell yourself that you can’t take this anymore, even though he is the breadwinner, just try to get a job. From you get a job and you know that you can take care of your child or your kids, you can make up your mind to leave,” she said.

“You can put a stop to it before it’s too late. I nearly lost my life twice, and I was not going to make it be a third time. My advice to you is to try and leave before it’s too late. Don’t stay in an abusive relationship. It can cost you your life,” she warned.