THE holiday season is often seen as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration, surrounding traditions such as attending church, celebrating the birth of Jesus, gift-giving, enjoying festive foods and drinks, decorating, and visiting family. However, for many, the Christmas season can bring feelings of isolation and loneliness, often called the “holiday blues”.

These feelings can be particularly noticeable for those who are separated from family, have experienced loss, or are dealing with difficult personal circumstances. Understanding the reasons behind these feelings and how to cope with them empowers you to navigate this time of year with strength and resilience.

The term “holiday blues” is described as temporary feelings of anxiety, depression, and sadness during the holiday season. Anyone, even those who love the season, can experience the holiday blues. The demands of excessive spending, decorating, social gatherings, and other stressors can leave people feeling stressed and exhausted.

A survey conducted among 2,061 adults between the ages of 18 years and older by the American Psychological Association (2023) revealed that while many people reported feelings of happiness, joy, love, and high spirits during the holiday season, these emotions are often accompanied by fatigue, stress, irritability, and sadness. Financial concerns were the most frequently cited cause of stress, with 58 per cent of respondents indicating this as a factor. Additionally, 40 per cent reported that finding the right gifts added to their stress, while 38 per cent noted that the stress of missing family and loved ones heightened their anxiety. Stress appears to be the most common factor associated with the holiday season.

The holiday season can bring about mixed emotions. The survey revealed that 43 per cent of adults reported that the stress of the holidays interferes with their ability to enjoy the season, and 36 per cent indicated that the holiday feels like a competition. Conversely, 50 per cent and 49 per cent stated that it can be joyous and fun, respectively.

Additionally, according to a survey by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (2022) stated that 24 per cent of people diagnosed with mental illness find that the holiday makes their condition “a lot” worse. It is essential to note that holiday blues are different from mental illness; however, short-term mental health problems may lead to clinical anxiety and depression.

Who is most affected by holiday loneliness?

As mentioned, the holiday season can be joyous for some but stressful and sad for others. The demographics that can be mostly affected by holiday loneliness may include seniors who are living alone, singles, families/children who do not have a home, and those who have lost loved ones. However, it is important to note that loneliness is experienced differently by everyone. One can live alone and not feel lonely, while another can feel lonely even when surrounded by friends and family.

Causes of holiday loneliness

Several factors can contribute to loneliness during the holiday season:

Social isolation: This can stem from several risk factors, including depression, anxiety, ageing, the death of loved ones, unemployment, violence and abuse. The pressure to feel joyful and festive, especially when reality doesn’t align with these expectations, can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Approximately 66 per cent of the respondents to the National Alliance on Mental Illness survey reported feelings of isolation and loneliness during the Christmas season.

Unmet expectations: Financial stress, not receiving an expected Christmas bonus, not getting paid, overspending, or cancelled plans (eg, travelling, marriage, etc) can lead to disappointment and loneliness. When the reality of the holiday season doesn’t match the idealised version portrayed in media and society, it can create a sense of inadequacy and isolation.

Loss and grief: The holiday season can be particularly difficult for those who have lost loved ones. Memories of past celebrations can intensify feelings of grief and loneliness, making it hard to engage in holiday activities.

Lack of sleep: A hectic holiday schedule can lead to a lack of sleep which can increase stress levels, feelings of irritability, and mood changes. Getting adequate sleep can help you cope and feel more energised.

Changes in family dynamics: Changes such as divorce, separation, or family members moving away can alter traditional holiday gatherings, leading to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. Many Individuals feel disconnected not only from families and friends but also from the holiday season, unsure of the true meaning of Christmas. This lack of connection emphasises the need to rediscover the authentic essence of this cherished celebration.

Mental health issues: Individuals dealing with mental health challenges may find the holiday season particularly overwhelming. The pressure to be cheerful can exacerbate feelings of sadness or anxiety.

Coping strategies for holiday loneliness

To navigate the holiday blues, consider the following strategies:

Practise mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help ground you in the present moment and alleviate feelings of sadness.

Create a gratitude journal: Take time to reflect on the things, people, the goodness of God, and experiences you appreciate. Writing these downs can shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering a sense of positivity.

Reach out: Don’t hesitate to connect with friends or family, even if it’s just a phone call or video chat. Sharing your feelings can help alleviate loneliness and strengthen connections.

Volunteer: Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and community. The CPFSA programme “Take a Child Home for the Holiday” is a great initiative to consider. Volunteered at local churches to help prepare meals and visit the shut-in. Also, volunteering at the different donation drives/charity projects is another area that can be considered. Helping the less fortunate fosters a sense of empathy which can have a profound impact on your psychological well-being.

Set realistic expectations: Set realistic goals for yourself and don’t feel pressured to meet societal expectations. You don’t have to buy that six-pound ham when a two-pound ham can serve your family, learn to say ‘NO’ and don’t overspend.

Engage in activities you enjoy: Whether it’s baking, crafting, or watching holiday movies, engaging in activities that bring you joy can help lift your spirits.

Seek professional help: If feelings of loneliness or sadness become overwhelming, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support.

The holiday season can arouse a complex mix of emotions, and it’s important to recognise that feelings of loneliness are valid and common, it is okay to experience those feelings, but it is also important to remember that you are not alone. Despite the failures, regrets, or other negative emotions, you can navigate this time of year with greater resilience, and grace and find moments of joy amidst the challenges.

Christmas embodies the enduring hope of light overcoming darkness and offering solace, compassion, and renewal amidst life’s challenges. Therefore, let us focus on celebrating the birth of our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ and not be swept away by the commercialisation meaning of Christmas.

“May the peace of Christ be with you this holiday season, bringing comfort and strength”

Sophia Francis, MA, counselling psychology, works in the field of administrative support at UTech, Jamaica’s College of Health Sciences. She’s affiliated with Peace Spring Consultant which offers a variety of counselling services.