Is this her fault or mine?

The tempter or the tempted,

Who sins most?

— Shakespeare

Temptation has always been a weakness of mankind, and I daresay, both men and women fall prey to this diabolical weakness that has been the downfall of many. It comes in all forms, from a strong desire to indulge in something as trite as being tempted to nibble on that chocolate treat, even though you’re on a strict diet, to that burning desire to have carnal knowledge of someone.

It’s usually a negative thing, and the definition alludes to this: ‘The desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise.’

We’ve all been there, and even in the Bible there’s a story of Jesus being tempted by the devil. Of course, He rebuked him with the now famous words, “Get thee behind me Satan.”

But we are but mere mortals, lacking strength and resolve, so we haven’t got what it takes to rebuke temptation when faced with it. Most cannot just walk away. In fact, it’s been said that the only way to overcome temptation is to yield to it.

“Might as well give in to it; in for a penny, in for a pound.”

“Tis one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall,” said Shakespeare, which smacks of truth, for not because you are tempted means that you should fall for it. Plus, as the quote above asks, “Who sins more, the tempter or the tempted?” When that alluring woman comes along, dressed to seduce, draped in her garments of enticement — young, beautiful, nubile, sexy and willing and able to give pleasure — could you say, get thee behind me seductress, or yield to her wiles?

And whose fault is it, who sins more, she who tempts you, or you who yields to her temptation? We’ll find out more, right after these retorts to my take on ‘Subtle signs of lost interest’.

Teerob,

People lose interest for various reasons, but I think that the main one is loss of libido, with either the woman not wanting the man anymore, or he simply stopped desiring her. Usually when the sex goes, so does the relationship, as it crumbles to nothingness. And just like Humpty Dumpty who fell off the wall, that egg can never be put back together again. Take sex out of the equation and all interest is lost.

Patrick

Hi Tony,

Losing interest in each other, man or woman, I think is a natural thing. Maybe it could have been something to do with ageing, predictability, monotony, financial, physical deformity or some unseen emotional changes. Despite the circumstances, it begs the question, should you really vow ‘for better or worse?’ If a partner loses interest in a relationship early, are you going to continue living that way ‘Til death do us part?’

Paula T

There is a very disturbing news story making the mainstream media about this male teacher from Immaculate Conception High School for Girls who was arrested for allegedly being sexually involved with a student. The reports say that he was actually taken into custody during the school’s prize giving ceremony.

Talk about high drama, and at Immaculate Conception High School too. Back in my high school days, we used to refer to those students as ‘sisters girls’, for the nuns, or sisters as they were referred to, ran the institution like a tight ship, almost like a convent, and no one dared step out of line.

Whether the allegations are true or not is up to the courts, but what is true is that these things do happen, and with more frequency than you would imagine. As one girl said, “Why do they put us in an all girls’ school then have older boys as teachers?” Men are really just older boys at heart.

Listen, even priests surrounded by nuns in convents succumb to pleasures of the flesh, as has been documented countless times over the centuries, so these things do happen.

Even now I remember this incident from way back in the day when this foreign teacher, a white Englishman, got involved with a fourth form girl from another prominent high school right here in Jamaica. When the affair was discovered by the authorities and by his wife, they promptly transferred him to another school far away in the rural parts. No police, no arrest, no nutten.

Another incident that sprang to mind was when a wife marched down to another prominent high school for girls and confronted this fifth form student whom she accused of being involved with her husband.

I can never understand that, why confront the third party if your partner is having an affair? Shouldn’t you confront your partner instead?

Well, you can just imagine the excitement that occurred on the school compound that day. Some things are unforgettable. But who is wrong, the young girl, temptress, or the big man, tempted? As the quote asks, who’s the bigger sinner, the girls who tempted the men, or the men who yielded to the seductive ways of forbidden pleasure?

Revenge is a meal best served cold, it’s been said, but temptation is a dish best consumed hot, as it gives off the heat of molten lava as it flows and envelopes everything in its path.

But temptation is a serious thing, not to be trifled with, and even the
Bible warns against it.

“Keep watch and pray that you will not fall into temptation, for the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” — Matthew 26:44

“Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” — Matthew 6:13

Despite all these warnings and exhortations, people still yield to temptation. Why is this so? Well, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and nothing gives men and women more pleasure than weak flesh.

I think that I can safely say that between the two genders — male and female — men are the ones who are weaker and always yielding to temptation. It matters not who the tempted is, whether he be lawyer, doctor, or Indian chief, he is, at the core, a man, and men frequently fall prey to pleasures of the flesh.

That’s why during times of war, women were sent to infiltrate and tempt even the bravest, strongest, most resilient generals to extract military secrets. History has proven this on numerous occasions, as great men such as Sampson, David, and other indomitable men from biblical days all succumbed to female temptation. Names such as Mata Hari, Josephine Baker spring to mind. Then there was Rahab from the
Bible and, of course, the infamous Jezebel and Delilah who tempted and brought down and ruined great men. So what chance do common men have against temptation?

It’s been said that a woman is a man’s greatest gift and also his greatest curse. No matter who the man is, he could be wrapped in the holy shrouds of Turin and bathed in holy water even as he recites pious prayers daily, he can still yield to temptation.

We often see and hear news stories about male coaches who got involved with their female athletes and are disgraced when discovered. Those are the ones we hear about, as others go undetected.

But is it really fair, prudent, wise or logical to have a male coach surrounded by these young, nubile, smooth-skinned, sometimes willing athletes who have no qualms about giving him more than a come-hither look? It’s like putting a hungry wolf to guard a flock of sheep. Even though he’s trained, he’s still a wolf.

It’s like putting a group of teenagers to look after a bucket of KFC and telling them not to eat any. It’s a hard ask, and temptation is powerful. Is it wise to have a male teacher employed to an all-girls’ school, surrounded by temptation and then chastise him for yielding to temptation?

Sure, now you’re going to say, “He should know better.” But remember, the mind is willing but the flesh is weak, and it takes a man of superhuman strength not to yield to the wiles of female temptation.

Back in the day they used eunuchs to oversee the wives and concubines of rulers. That ensured that they could not succumb to any female temptation from the females. Maybe they should employ gay men as teachers at all-girls’ schools?

Don’t be fooled into thinking that it’s always the man who makes the first move. Some of these young girls are seductive beyond their years, and men being weak, will yield to temptation.

I’m not saying that it’s right, it’s wrong, but remember, man is man, and nothing is stronger than the power of temptation. Even those of strong moral fibre will yield to temptation when placed in the situation. Who will cast the first stone?

“Temptation is a woman’s weapon, and a man’s excuse.” — HL Mencken

“I generally avoid temptation, unless I can’t resist it.” — Mae West.

“I can resist anything, except temptation.” — Oscar Wilde

Temptation is powerful, and from that biblical Adam and Eve story where yielding to temptation resulted in their downfall, mankind has grappled with it. Some people may fend it off, but many others yield to it.

“Most dangerous is that temptation that doth good us on to sin to loving virtue.” — Shakespeare

“Temptation is the fire that brings up the scum of the heart.” — Shakespeare

Temptation is powerful with many words written about it, and yet it still seems to overcome so many people. Should we then just yield to it?

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: The Sports Desk programme on KLAS FM radio has brought a new dimension to radio talk shows, as it has captured the hearts and minds of not only sports-loving Jamaicans, but the public in general. Hosts Orville Higgins and Christopher Zidane Matthews have taken this medium to new heights with their inciteful, analytical, witty, controversial approach to sports discussion. The callers are diverse and far reaching, ranging from the intelligent to the ridiculous to the sublime, as they bring their colourful opinions to the programme. This results in a tapestry of discussions and arguments that are unprecedented in the history of radio in Jamaica. It’s riveting, absorbing and addictive and is a welcome approach to the radio landscape. Don’t just take my word, give a listen and I guarantee you’ll be hooked.