The choices we make

Dictate the lives

We lead.

— Shakespeare

As they say in street parlance, “Ain’t that the truth.” Truer words have never been spoken, as many people have made the wrong choice in their lives and lived to regret it after. Some have died to regret it also, as their choices proved to be lethal. It’s been said that some women signed their death certificate when they signed their marriage papers.

So it’s vital, critical, essential that you make the right choices in life as they dictate the life that you live. Women are usually more practical, pragmatic, and logical when it comes to their choices in men, usually opting for a man who has some sort of positive future, can provide for them, or at least bring something to the relationship apart from his genitals.

They are not usually dazzled by a handsome face, even though that may be the initial attraction. She’ll easily overlook that handsome man and choose instead to marry a man with less physical attributes but who has a more viable financial future.

Men, on the other hand, often tend to make choices based on the eye test — how the woman looks, her appeal and sexuality — and end up living a life of hell afterwards. As one man said years ago, “You haven’t got to die to go to hell, son.”

So that’s where we’ll be going today, ‘Choose or lose’, right after these words of wisdom about what I had to say regarding ‘Yield to temptation’.

Hi Tony,

Whose fault is it, the tempter or the tempted? It is a complex and arguable situation, and the fault depends on both partners. You can be tempted but you don’t have to yield. If you feel the need to crave and indulge, you are probably asking the question, who is there to stop me? Make your own judgement. I think it’s a case of passion vs moral courage and values. If you don’t have a positive motive or connection, don’t risk or yield.

Aiden

Teerob,

That question is as old as time itself, as people have been tempted and yielding throughout the centuries, with the first documented being Adam and Eve. Since then you can’t even tell who will fall prey to the temptation, as many men of strong moral fibre and great physical strength have yielded to temptation, especially from women. It’s the weakness in them that makes them fail, and every man has a weakness, it only takes the right key to unlock it.

Sandra

When a man takes a woman to be his wife, he considers many factors. True, most men will go for the woman who looks good, but many have ended up disappointed, as looks can be deceiving and all that glitters is not gold. Plus, so many beautiful women are so wrapped up in their own beauty that they have neither time nor space for anyone else.

But what if the man could have a specific breakdown in his choices and told to decide between a certain type of woman or the other? That should simplify matters as it eliminates the pretty woman but bad character scenario, but gets a bit more specific.

Which of them should the man marry? Hmmm… should he marry a woman who’s a virgin but lazy? Now, if he marries the virgin, he knows that he’ll be first to venture down that highway into unknown territory, and as they always say on the TV show
Star Trek, ‘Go where no man has gone before.’

Many men would love that, as they can relax and bask in the satisfaction that he’s the first and only man to explore that terrain. But despite that, she’s lazy. That’s like having the proverbial white elephant that’s beautiful to look at, costly to maintain, but has absolutely no use at all as it’s pampered and preened but never put to work.

Not that she’s supposed to do these things, but she can’t wash, can’t cook, can’t clean, and doesn’t even want to work. Just plain lazy. But she’s beautiful.

Then there’s the other choice: a woman who’s intelligent but unfaithful. Many men love a smart woman, but no man relishes the prospect that his woman is unfaithful, so that choice is a no-brainer. In fact, I can categorically state that no Jamaican man would ever accept that.

“She cudda bright like morning star, if she’s unfaithful that’s a no-no.”

Which slides right to the next choice: would you marry a woman who’s beautiful but illiterate? I can safely say that more men fall into this trap than you’d care to believe. There are so many instances of men who have seen beautiful women and quickly married them, even though they were as dumb and illiterate as the cliché proverbial dumb blonde that comedians always make fun of.

But men, shallow as they are, will marry a beautiful woman, making her his arm candy, his trophy wife, without caring if she can read ABC or spell C A T is puss… Some men will even leave their current spouse and hook up with an illiterate woman just because she’s beautiful.

The opposite, though, is, would you marry a woman who is ugly but intelligent? Now, an intelligent woman can be an asset to a man and really help him to build a life. But Lord have mercy, if she’s ugly as ape, what kind of marriage would that be? Needless to say, I have known men who are drawn to ugly, ah, let’s be kind and say, homely women, and it has always mystified me.

But the Lord in His wisdom knows why He made us with different tastes, as some folks love lobster while others crave chicken back. Many beautiful women have been the downfall of men, but it’s rare that an ugly women proves to be the undoing of men. Is it that they’re so grateful that they toe the line and aim only to please the man? Still, I could be wrong. I once knew this guy who married the ugliest woman possible, and she cheated on him. Incredible!

What about the woman who is supportive but tief like bringle puss? That’s somewhat of a dichotomy though, a contradiction in terms, an oxymoron, for if she’s supportive, how can she be a thief? Aha! But it happens, for there are cases where women support and help to build up a man, only to turn around and rob him blind, steal everything from under him. Maybe she feels entitled and thinks that it’s her right to take what she thinks is rightfully hers.

“I supported him and made him who he is, so I’m claiming it.”

Then there’s the woman who’s hard-working but dirty. Cleanliness is next to godliness, it has been said, but whereas a man can get away with being dirty, a woman cannot. It’s one of those social mores that’s been passed down through generations, even in nursery rhyme.

‘What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice. But what are little boys made of, snips and snails and puppy dog tails.’

It’s just the way it is, a so de system set, and I didn’t make the rules.

A woman is supposed to be fresh, pristine, enticing smell sweet, all factors that attract a man. In fact, I have known women who actually love and get turned on by men who are sweaty and grimy.

“I just love a man who smells funky, manly, and earthy.”

Despite her being dirty though, she’s hard-working, which is an asset, but can the man get past that dirt? A dirty woman is legendary, and I have had a few male friends who have cried to me how dirty their wives were.

“She don’t wash, she don’t bathe, she don’t tidy.”

Even from decades ago, I still remember those poor husbands who were trapped in a garbage dump of a marriage with no escape.

“She really works hard, but man she’s so dirty.”

And the final choice now: would you marry a woman who is religious but gossips? Ha, that should be an easy choice, for gossiping is the domain of women. Now, you’re going to draw the male chauvinist card on me, but women do chat and that’s a fact. They network between family and friends, and as soon as anything happens, the verbal flames spread faster than California wildfires.

If she’s religious, that can add to the woes, for she’s so steeped in church that she hardly has time for the man. Combine that with the interdenominational gossip with the church sisters and a man can be thoroughly tested. Of all the choices though, that seems to be the easiest one.

So gentlemen, take your pick of all that was stated about choosing wisely, but be prepared to live with the consequences. Choose or lose.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: The holiday season has come and gone and I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Looking back on last year I can point out some highs and lows, but they aren’t what you think that they are. One low was that KFC TV commercial, Silent Night Holy Night, which must have been the worst commercial ever made. And it was played ad nauseam too. I love KFC, and they usually make great commercials, but that ad really annoyed me.

In contrast, I really loved the WATA commercial where the football coach chastised his assistant, asking “Where’s the WATA?” Another highlight was Kingston College (KC) winning the Manning Cup, Olivier Shield and the Under-14 football trophies, complemented by KC knocking coach Craig Butler into early retirement by eliminating Mona High. And, of course, my daughter writing an international bestseller,
Sweetness in the Skin, topped them all.