Dear Editor,

As an educator I often hear: “Sir, I don’t know what else to do.” It always leaves me wondering: What do you expect me to do if you don’t know how to discipline your child? This highlights one of our society’s most pressing issues: Too many parents don’t know how to parent.

Jamaica has been grappling with various social issues, and one of the most critical is crime and violence. At the root of this problem lies poor parenting, which often contributes to creating individuals who become a menace to society. When parents fail to actively nurture, guide, and discipline their children, they risk raising individuals who lack respect, empathy, and a sense of accountability.

Firstly, parents need to raise their children. Raising a child involves more than providing their basic needs, such as food, shelter, and clothing. These are fundamental rights every child deserves, but parenting requires more.

Raising a child also means nurturing, guiding, and supporting them as they grow into independent, responsible, and compassionate individuals. It involves teaching them values, life skills, and how to navigate challenges. To achieve this, parents must be present. Being present doesn’t just mean giving lunch money; it means actively supporting their dreams, talking with them, laughing with them, and checking on their progress — especially in school.

Unfortunately, some parents attend the grade seven or grade one orientation and are never seen again. They miss prize-giving ceremonies, parent-teacher association meetings, consultations, and events in which their children participate. These parents are essentially absent, and their absence often leads children to feel unsupported, which can cause them to rebel. True parenting is about consistent involvement and being a part of the child’s journey. That’s what it means to truly raise a child.

Secondly, aggression is never the solution. Violence only perpetuates violence, and children who learn to resolve conflicts through physical means will inevitably replicate such behaviour. Discipline should come from a place of understanding, not impulsive punishment. Corrective measures should focus on identifying the root cause of a child’s behaviour before addressing it. While accountability is essential, it must be accompanied by guidance that helps the child understand why their actions were wrong and how they can improve.

Children are mirrors of their environment, and they often emulate the behaviours they observe. Parents who display indisciplined behaviour — such as resorting to verbal or physical attacks, even in public settings — set a troubling example. When these actions are directed at schools or teachers who are trying to maintain standards, especially in front of the child, they inadvertently teach disrespect for authority and a disregard for discipline.

Discipline is not merely about correction; it is about modelling the values one wishes to instil. A household grounded in respect, patience, and self-control fosters a child who internalises these traits and grows into an individual capable of resolving conflicts with understanding and integrity.

Thirdly, parents must not allow digital media to raise their children. Over-reliance on devices such as phones and tablets as tools to pacify children weakens family bonds and stunts social and emotional development. When children are given devices to stop tantrums or occupy their time, they miss vital opportunities to learn emotional regulation, problem-solving, and effective communication. It also diminishes parental influence, exposing children to harmful content and values that conflict with essential life lessons.

Parenting requires active engagement and meaningful interaction. While technology has its place, it should never replace the vital role of nurturing, guiding, and shaping a child into a responsible and compassionate individual.

Jamaica’s social challenges, particularly crime and violence, often stem from poor parenting. By investing in active, engaged, and thoughtful parenting, we can begin to address these issues and raise the next generation of responsible, empathetic citizens.

T Kafash Thomas

tedensetkt@gmail.com