What need the bridges

Much broader than the flood?

The fairest grant is the necessity.

— Shakespeare,
Much Ado About Nothing

Is it that the bridge needs to be much broader than the flood to be practical? Of course it does, for it’s necessary if it’s to be effective against the turbulent water. And, in the same vein, do men need women, or are they merely a necessity in their lives, something to get them through, to fill a gap, satisfy a need?

Well, I can categorically and unequivocally say that men need women. Mark you, there is a distinct difference between a need and a want; for many people want things that they do not really need.

But let’s cut to the chase, women are not only necessary, they are essential in the lives of men, even though many men take them for granted and even treat them badly and unfairly for various reasons. Maybe that’s why that now-famous line was penned, “Women, you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them.” Written by a man, of course.

Take it any which way that you want, the stark irrefutable fact is, men need women, and even men who are gay and profess to have no need of women have been proven to fall right into the category of men who need women. If it’s even to emulate the woman’s characteristics and mannerisms, gay men need women to be their role models.

I know gay men who have more female friends than you can count. So let’s see why men need women, right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Polyamorous’.

Teerob,

You hit the nail right on the head and you were not pussyfooting around when you said that mankind is not essentially monogamous, but really struggles to be so because of various factors. It’s natural for men to have wandering eyes, even as it’s normal for women to look and wonder. It’s neither here nor there if they don’t act upon this impulse. The fact is, the feelings are there, and we all have those urges.

Natasha

Hi Tony,

A beautifully well-written article, and it smacks of truth too. I’m tired of the hypocrisy that permeates our society when it comes to morality and sexuality. Everyone condemns loose women and wild men, yet they secretly yearn to have that sexual freedom. Many wish to have a secret sexual adventure, yet they curse the persons who do. The words ring true in the
Bible, ‘O ye hypocrites.’

Robert

By definition, a need is something essential for survival and basic functioning, like food, water, and shelter, while a want is something desired or preferred, but not necessarily for survival, like a new car or a fancy meal. Essentially, needs are required for life, while wants are simply things that you would like to have.

So which is it, do men want women or do they need women? Should I change the title of this article?

Don’t all put your hands up at once. Many men will say that they want women, and they certainly do, but how many men will admit to actually needing a woman?

“I want women, plenty of them, but I don’t really need them.”

That’s where he’s so wrong, for a man will want a woman, yes, but he also needs her more than he knows. Hmm, quite a conundrum. From birth and before, a man needs a woman, and for the first few years of his life, that bond grows by leaps and bounds; it often lasts a lifetime.

It’s that female bonding that prepares him for his future with other women, making the old saying ring true, “Most men marry their mothers,” meaning, of course, that they often marry women who exhibit the similar traits and characteristics of their mothers.

Sigmund Freud postulated that theory. Of course, it doesn’t always pan out that way, but that first woman in a man’s life certainly impacts greatly on the way he treats future women.

As a teenager, a boy needs to be around female company. At that stage, his hormones are raging and he has to have that emotional and sexual outlet. Take that away, and Lord knows how that young man will turn out or what he’ll become.

I’m not saying that he goes and has sex with every teenage girl that he meets, but those urges and feelings are vital and essential for his emotional development. So, even from that stage in life, a young man needs a woman. In fact, that may be the most critical stage in a man’s life when it comes to needing a woman. Even now I remember my teenage years and how important the opposite sex was in that emotionally formative time.

So the man grows up, and those needs heighten. For, apart from the urges, the man needs female companionship to make him whole. And it’s not just the sex either, for if it were the sex alone, men would marry prostitutes.

A man needs a woman to fulfil his life, although not many men would admit to this. After the bachelor life, and the rampant sex, the man needs a woman for stability.

Sometimes that woman proves to be that man’s anchor, his conscience, his second thought when making important decisions. I must add here, though, that this only applies if it’s the right woman, one who genuinely has the man’s interest at heart. Anyone else can prove to be a living hell and a nightmare of epic proportions from which he will never wake up.

But that’s the chance that men take, a chance borne out of a need to have a woman in his life. A man needs a woman for emotional support, and this manifests itself when the man is at his lowest ebb and needs that propping up to keep his head above water.

Again, she has to be the right woman who has his back, for there are some women who jump ship the moment they sense any crack in the structure of the man. One proof of this is sickness. Some men get sick and that’s when their woman decides to cut and run.

“Man I was down and out, sick in bed, and is gone she gone.”

The fact remains, a man who has a woman who fulfils that need is far better off than a man who doesn’t have such a woman. To add to this, a man needs a woman to massage his ego and bolster his self-esteem.

Let’s not forget the physical, and get back to those basics and the pubescent teenage years: A man needs a woman for sex. And that, my friends, is why men continue to pursue women from here to eternity, to the ends of the Earth and back, through hell and high water, just to get sex.

It’s the favourite pastime of men, and men need women to fulfil that need. Apologies to the gay men, of course, who profess not to need women, but many gay men also have a need for female companionship.

Men need women to fulfil their fantasies. They need women to satisfy their desires. They need women to bring out the macho in the man. They may say that they want women, and they certainly do, but that need is more than just the want, even though they aren’t fully aware of it.

Nevertheless, the expert psychologists say that it’s better to want rather than to need, for to need means dependency, and nobody wants to be dependent on anyone else.

Still, opinions differ as this quote suggests: “A man needs a woman when his life is a mess, because just like in a game of chess, the queen protects the king.”

And the lyrics from this song by James Carr probably say it all:

“
Just like the fish needs the ocean

Just like the rough hand needs a little lotion

Like the window needs a pane

Like the highway needs two lane

A man needs a woman

A man got to have a woman

To carry on, to carry on.”

Again, it depends on the woman, the right woman to fulfil the needs of the man.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: I have been a customer of Flow and Digicel for many years now; Flow for Internet and landline services and Digiplay for cable. I have never had a problem with either service provider, even though I’ve heard many complaints from others over the media. I must bring this to your attention, though. Flow contacted me to advise that they were changing out landline cables from copper to fibre optic, so they came and did that, telling me that the line would migrate in a few days. Anyway, lo and behold I stopped receiving calls. So when I told them, they said that I was to plug the phone directly into the modem, which I did. What about the extensions? I asked, to which they said that I would have to get a technician to come and sort that out at my expense. Could that be right? Luckily. I’m handy that way, so I rectified that situation myself. Just letting you know.