Money issues have caused major disruptions in some marriages and relationships, resulting in divorces, erosion of long-term investments, and emotional stress. But all is not lost in the war of love… and money.

I have had many discussions with married partners who had concerns about their spouses’ management of financial resources. We have seen that prenuptial agreements have gained traction in Jamaica. So too have postnuptial agreements. Recently I had discussions with an adult senior who sought to make changes to his investment because of a postnuptial agreement. It must be handled carefully.

A prenuptial agreement is a formal contract made by a couple that outlines, among other thing, the assets owned and debts owed by each partner and stipulates the rights of each party to assets within and after the marriage, should it end in a divorce. Such an agreement is made before the marriage.

However, a postnuptial agreement is made during marriage, which states how assets should be settled should the relationship end in a separation or divorce.

Both prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are financial tools or safety nets for married couples, as these contracts aid them in planning their economic future in case of divorce.

In a recent post, personal finance expert and CEO of Ramsey Solutions Dave Ramsey stated that the main cause of divorce in America is “money fights and money problems”. He expressed the view that it is not the amount of money that couples have that creates problems in the marriage, but “how they handle it together”. He advised that the strength of a marriage and wealth creation are dependent on the partners working together as a team. Money is “about teamwork, trust and communication”, said Ramsey, not just numbers.

In Jamaica, money is cited as a common cause of problems within marriages, resulting in separations or divorce.

Money is an emotional topic. We all have a relationship with money. Having a fair knowledge and understanding of how money can work for you can go a long way in removing the fearful emotion that can be associated with money.

Couples should focus on what they can do collectively with their money, instead of paying too much attention to their lack of money. American author and financial expert Ramit Sethi said that people shouldn’t focus on the “materialistic” feature of money, but on the “experience” that money affords.

When one partner in a relationship is a spendthrift and the other is frugal, it often leads to disagreements resulting in marital problems. Huge debt and poor communication can exacerbate problems within a marriage.

A recent survey done in the USA by SunTrust Bank revealed that “three in every five Americans” contemplated postponing their marriages because they didn’t want to inherit their partners’ debts. Fifty-four per cent of married couples surveyed believed that having a partner who is in debt is an adequate reason for a divorce.

Another reason noted in the survey that affects marital harmony is “financial infidelity”. This refers to situations in which spouses fail to disclose funds spent, particularly from shared resources. It’s also regarded as “financial cheating”. This situation tends to occur when open communication is missing in a relationship. Keeping financial secrets from each other can be viewed as a breach of trust and, in the long run, can lead to divorce.

Here are some examples of financial infidelity:

1) A couple has a joint account, and one partner uses the account as security for a loan without the knowledge of the other. If there is a default in repaying the debt, both partners suffer a financial loss.

2) A partner has a long-term investment for retirement but, unknown to the other, significant withdrawals were made for a short-term need.

Financial cheating can damage trust irrevocably resulting ultimately in separation or divorce. Mental health and emotional stress can result from financial cheating. The credit score of married couples can be affected by poor money management or the financial indiscretion of a spouse. Both short-term and long-term goals can be derailed by financial cheating or mismanagement of resources. What’s more, financial deception can result in insufficient funds for emergencies and major shortfalls in retirement savings.

Married couples can have a better relationship with money and avoid financial pitfalls by having open communication about money. Discussing shared goals and objectives is necessary in building trust and commitment. A professional and experienced financial advisor can assist in designing your financial plans and reviewing savings and investment strategies.

“A good marriage is not how much you make, but how much you manage together.” — Unknown

Grace G McLean is a financial advisor and retirement specialist at BPM Financial Limited. Contact her at gmclean@bpmfinancial or visit the website: www.bpmfinancial.com. She is also a podcaster for Living Above Self. E-mail her at livingaboveself@gmail.com.