WHEN Renea Panton gave birth to her son Nathaniel her world was bursting with the excitement that most new mothers experience.

She felt as if she was the luckiest person in the world as she began to plan for his future. For the first two years of Nathaniel’s life he was reaching all the developmental milestones expected at that age. Then, at age three, something was noticeably off with his verbal communication.

“I noticed that he stopped saying good evening and calling family members by their names,” Panton told the Jamaica Observer.

Though it raised a red flag in her mind, she did not pursue it at the time.

“When we saw that something was off, the family became concerned. It was by chance that I was in a taxi and a conversation that I had with a lady, who was a total stranger, I shared my concerns for my son and she shared her friend’s story who had the same issue as me.

“She told me that her friend took her child to a paediatrician in St Ann, where the child was assessed for autism,” added Panton.

Hoping that her son’s condition was a passing phase, Panton took the doctor’s information and made the appointment.

When she visited the doctor to have her son assessed she wasn’t prepared for the doctor’s finding.

“When the doctor said to me that she suspects that my child might be autistic or has autism, that was the worst news ever; I thought my life was done and his life was done,” said Panton.

The doctor recommended that the worried mother visit a specialist in Kingston, increasing her concern.

The specialist in the Corporate Area confirmed her worst fears — Nathaniel had severe autism.

This broke Panton, and she told the Sunday Observer that tears flowed non-stop from her eyes, from Kingston to St Mary.

According to Panton, her days became dark as she felt she was being punished for having a child out of wedlock.

She said the news that her once-promising child had severe autism, and the struggles she knew would come with this, filled her thoughts and she became withdrawn.

“Then one day I got up and looked into the mirror and said, ‘If I am to continue this way, what is going to happen to my child?’ ” questioned Panton as she steeled herself for what she knew would be a difficult journey into the world of autism.

Nathaniel, then seven years old, was communicating with only single words, which was heartbreaking for his mother.

Panton said she started praying, watching more videos, and joining support groups. She also enrolled Nathaniel in speech therapy, although it was hectic and expensive.

“Nathaniel is now making simple sentences — sometimes three words, sometimes four or five — like, ‘Mom, can I have my dinner?’ His sentences are simple but more frequent,” Panton said as she pointed to her son, who is now 10 years old.

Nathaniel continues to do speech therapy and has shown that his strength lies in mathematics and music.

“He plays the keyboard by ear and does mathematical calculations mentally. Nathaniel has adjusted well to school. Giving credit to the previous schools he attended, he’s not sidelined but is included.

“Nathaniel was recommended to do three therapies — speech, occupational and behavioural. These are not offered in St Mary, they are done in Kingston, and living in the rural area, it can be costly,” said Panton, underscoring that it has been draining for her because of the repetitive nature of the sessions.

According to Panton, during the COVID-19 pandemic it became a little easier for her and Nathaniel financially as therapy was offered online, cutting the cost to travel to Kingston regularly.

Hungry to ensure she had a full understanding of the challenge facing her son, Panton returned to school and completed a master’s degree in special education.

With the hands-on knowledge and theory, she has dedicated her time and effort to speaking on the disorder and the challenges faced as a mother in rural Jamaica with an autistic child.

She does so with the mantra: “I am human”, and has written a song of the same name that discourages Jamaicans from treating people with any form of disability with indifference.

“The journey of parenting a child with special needs is often filled with moments of profound love, joy, and growth. Through the lens of my own experiences I sought to capture the complexities of this journey in my song. The lyrics delve into the raw emotions of receiving a diagnosis, the fear of the unknown, and the resilience and strength that emerge in the face of adversity,” said Panton.

She lauded her friends and family for the support they have given her and her son throughout his journey so far, and hopes her experience will serve as a beacon of hope and encouragement for families with children who are autistic.