I’m the son of the king of the Fairies,

And I’m pretty too,

But I’m not the prettiest.

— Shakespeare,
A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Can you imagine that, a man boasting about being pretty, and comparing his beauty to others? But I guess that being the son of the king of the fairies gives him all the right to be vain. After all, he is a fairy too. But people — both men and women — have always been obsessed with their looks, with certainly more women than men falling into that category.

Remember the evil queen from the fairy tale who would constantly gaze at her mirror and ask the question, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” That mirror had better give the right answer, “Oh, you my queen, you are the fairest in the land.”

Until one day the mirror had to speak the truth and tell her that there was someone else out there who was prettier than she was. Well, she had a hissy-fit, a meltdown, a conniption, flew into a rage and smashed the hapless mirror to bits.

Then on the male side there was Narcissus from Greek mythology who was so obsessed with his looks that he would constantly stare at his reflection in a pool until one day he leaned over too far, fell in, and drowned. Narcissism does have its pitfalls. What’s ironic is that narcissists aren’t even aware that they are narcissists and will even accuse others of being narcissistic.

Being pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, ravishing, has been at the forefront of our consciousness from the dawn of civilisation. And true, different cultures have different standards and measures of beauty.

So whether you be a Pygmy, Masai, Inuit, Aborigini, Indian, Oriental, Caucasian or Hobbit, you will have standards of beauty in your neck of the woods. In Western cultures there is a certain measure of being pretty that we have grown to accept so that’s where we’ll be leaning today.

People who are deemed to be pretty seem to get certain privileges, a foot in the door, an advantage, a pass, so to speak. Hence the term, ‘pretty pass’. We’ll see what that’s all about right after these comments regarding my opinion on ‘Avoid, don’t go there’.

Hey Teerob,

You crack me up, but you speak the truth, brother. Some people are blinded by what they think is love when it’s really just unbridled lust. A man sees a woman and wants her so badly that he ignores all the baggage that she’s carrying, such as four young children. So he jumps right in, but after a short time the reality check hits home and he’s saddled with an instant family. He shouldn’t have gone there.

Desmond

Tony,

As biting as your words may appear to be, they do smack of truth. We should not throw caution to the wind and rush headlong into situations that show danger. A woman should avoid an abuser, he won’t change. A man should avoid a cheater, for she’ll cheat on him too. a woman should stay clear of a worthless man and a man should not get involved with a woman who had a long line of men in her past as she’ll always compare him to them.

Cecile

It was while watching
Entertainment Report on
TVJ that I heard the term ‘pretty pass’. It was said by a young singer who explained that even though her looks got her attention and interest from producers, she had to deliver and actually sing to impress them.

“So even though I look nice and have a pretty pass, I had to perform well.”

Well, I have always known of the concept, but I never heard the term pretty pass before. But a rose by any other name is just as sweet, pretty is pretty and will always give some people an advantage. God don’t love ugly.

A pretty pass will get some women hired for a front desk job at a luxury hotel or any such establishment that interacts with the public. You may not like to hear it, but it’s the truth. Very few firms will hire a woman who looks like a troll to be their receptionist at the front desk in their lobby. It’s an unfortunate but harsh reality, for even though the not-so-pretty woman is equally qualified for the job, it’s the gorgeous one who will get the pretty pass.

Of course, management will deny it, but it really does happen. There was a time in Jamaica when even bank tellers and airline stewardesses had to ‘look a certain way’. They all got a pretty pass.

Having a pretty pass will get some women noticed by men and even get them married too. I’ve addressed this before — how a rich man will spot a beautiful waitress in a restaurant and whisk her away and marry her. But here’s the caveat, if she has nothing else to offer, then that pretty pass will expire and he’ll move on to another pretty face. Remember, pretty women are a dime a dozen, and as the saying goes, ‘for every beautiful woman out there, there is some man who got tired of making love to her’. Of course, I used the term making love, but you get my drift.

Another old saying goes, ‘Even the softest skin feels like leather after being touched too often over time.’ So the pretty pass will get them in the door, but that alone won’t sustain the relationship and hold the man, as she has to come with something else, something sustainable. That being said, there are some men who like having pretty women to profile with, arm candy they call them, so sometimes the pretty pass will work in her favour.

Still, looks without substance mean nothing, and there are countless pretty women who are miserable, unhappy, and alone without any meaningful relationship, for it’s only looks that they have to rely on.

And just like the narcissist, many beautiful women are so full of themselves and obsessed with their beauty that they are incapable of having any feelings for anyone else. This hit home many years ago when I was a young man, so do you want to hear a secret?

Even now I remember from back in those youthful days, wrapped in the throes of passion with a young lady, yet all that she was interested in was that her afro hairstyle was getting messed up. I kid you not. That was an abject lesson to me that for some people, looking pretty overrides passion.

A pretty pass will let a woman sweep a man off his feet, and drive some men so insanely jealous that he can’t stand it if anyone else looks in her direction. This usually happens to men who aren’t used to having a pretty woman, so when they do happen to get one, dem glad bag buss, and it’s as if he’s struck gold. But Jamaica is chock full of beautiful women and we are blessed with a rich bounty that few countries can compare with.

Some of these women are not frightened by their looks and accept it in stride as they pursue their ambitions. While for others it’s as if that’s all they have, and they constantly gaze into the mirror admiring themselves or are forever taking selfies on their cellphones. Mirror mirror on the wall, am I the prettiest of them all? When you converse with them for a while, you’ll realise that beyond the beauty, there’s nothing else.

We’ve all heard the American term, ‘Dumb Blonde’, which is disparaging, but still urban legend, and we should all know the words by our very own Shakka Demus and Pliers, Pretty face and bad character, from
Murder She Wrote.

But girl yuh pretty

Yuh face is pretty but yuh character dirty

Gal yuh just act too flirty flirty

Yuh run to Tom, Dick and also Harry

And when yuh find yuh mistake

Yuh talk bout yuh sorry, sorry, sorry.

Now, that’s not an indictment on all pretty women, for most aren’t like that, but the ones who use this pretty pass to get their foot in the door then have nothing else to offer, and deceive men, and therein lies the danger.

What about the men though, what about the pretty boys, do they get a pretty pass too? Well, not so much as far as looks go, even though a handsome man may get the initial nod over an ugly man in some situations. But if that ugly man has money, then he’s suddenly extremely handsome and appealing.

But looks aren’t that essential for men, as there are many male movie stars who are in high demand for their acting ability and not for their looks. Morgan Freeman isn’t a handsome man, yet he’s arguably one of the greatest actors ever.

Most female movie stars have to be beautiful though, and it’s the pretty pass that got them cast in the starring role. Still, I recall beautiful Charlize Theron only choosing roles that didn’t exploit her beauty but focused more on her acting ability.

What a man has though, is charisma, allure and sex appeal. It’s called the Kavorka from the
Seinfeld TV series, the lure of the animal that draws women to those men. And that’s why some men who aren’t particularly handsome still manage to have a history of beautiful women.

That lure also gets some men into certain positions, and they end up in prime jobs in organisations because people are drawn to them. Top politicians around the world have this lure, this animal magnetism that draws people to them.

In contrast, have you ever noticed how some men are as handsome as Adonis, built like Samson, but can’t keep a woman? That’s because they have no lure, no appeal, no Kavorka. All they have is money to attract and hopefully hold the woman. But without it, he has nothing. That’s why many rich men are cheated on by their wives, the money alone isn’t enough.

So women will get a pretty pass, while men will have that lure or a money pass. Whatever gets you in the door, the trick is to make the most of it once you get in.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: There are stories in the news regarding some high schools failing very badly in the subject of English, with some students being barely literate. But why are some people surprised? And how did those children matriculate to high school anyway? It’s been a long time coming, and the dunce culture where some students, and adults too, actually glorify being dunce certainly adds to it. But it’s not only the high schools, for the recent images of street signs with wrong spelling is abominable. How do you manage to misspell Montego Bay, Negril, Knutsford Express, airport? But they did. Even the two leading TV stations are not exempt from the wrong spelling and bad grammar fiasco, as almost every night they are present in the graphics.