I have seen the day of wrong

Through the little hole of discretion,

And I will right myself like a soldier.

— Shakespeare

But love is blind,

And lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit.

— Shakespeare

THOSE two quotes above really paint a picture of the perils of love, that one has to exercise discretion, that love is blind, and that lovers commit pretty follies that they cannot see for themselves. Imagine, all that in the name of love. Is it really worth it? Some say yes, and would not have it any other way.

After all, is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all? Anyone who agrees with the latter is an idiot, for who can exist in this life without experiencing love, even one time, even if you get burnt in the process? Only for a time may you feel that feeling when your heart races and your mind is focused on one person, for love can be fleeting. But at least you can say, “I have loved,” and as Othello also said, “I am a man who has loved not wisely, but too well.”

I’m sure that there are many others who feel the same way, for we are not unique in our experiences with relationships, love, like, sensuality and passion. Ahh passion, that emotion that ignites us and gives us the will to live. But passion comes in many forms and, as my title suggests, there is the eternal polygon of passion. Pray tell what is that? Well, a polygon is just a fancy word for a triangle, so a polygon of passion is simply a triangle of love.

In mathematics a triangle is a polygon with three sides, having three vertices. The angle formed inside the triangle is equal to 180 degrees. It means that the sum of the interior angles of a triangle is equal to 180 degrees. It is a polygon having the least number of sides.

What a conundrum, a complication, a confusion. But even that cannot match the complications of a real lovers polygon, make that triangle. It’s an enigma, a riddle wrapped in a mystery that has baffled and mystified mankind for centuries that we’ll explore today, right after these responses to my theory about ‘Desire never dies’.

Hey Tony,

I thought that I was abnormal, that I was touched in the head for still having carnal desires even though I’m not young anymore. My family tells me that I must put away those feelings and go and read my
Bible. But how can I when my desire is still burning for the young practical nurse who visits me weekly? Unfortunately, she only sees me as the old retired teacher so my desire goes unfulfilled.

Uncle

Teerob,

People should be able to control their desires, especially when they pass a certain age. Shame on them, and shame on you for encouraging such carnal thoughts. After a certain age those feelings should be put to rest and give way to more moral things. I have repressed my desire for years, and I don’t care how my husband feels. I am done with those things. I now seek salvation.

Church Sister

Ever so often in the news we hear about a murder or murder-suicide because of a love triangle that was discovered, usually involving two men and a woman. Yes, men getting bun is our national pastime. But sometimes the script is flipped, as was shown in the two most recent news stories where a woman was reported to have doused her man with a corrosive liquid as he slept, resulting in his death. The reason given was that she suspected him of having another woman on the side.

The other case reported was of this woman who stabbed another woman to death because she suspected that she was involved with her man. I can never understand it. Why kill someone because they got involved with someone else, and also, why kill the third party in the polygon, er, triangle?

First of all, when captured, the killer’s life is over, locked behind bars for decades. And secondly, why kill the man who got involved with your woman? After all, did he force himself on her or coerce her into the polygon? She went of her own free will, and if it wasn’t that man it would be some other guy so why blame and attack the man for her indiscretion? So what if she has three men with you? You’re going to kill them all?

I could understand him accosting the woman for her betrayal, but why the other man? I could never understand, but it happens so often that there must be some emotional illogic to this polygon of passion.

But why this love triangle though? Why be with your partner yet choose to get involved with a third party? Wouldn’t it be simpler to just leave one for the other?

The answer is varied and complex. A man will have his main woman or wife and loves her, but the lore, lure and allure of another woman will entice him to venture into the hypnotic magnetism of desire and savour the sweet nectar of another woman’s honey that whets his appetite.

The desire for that other woman is powerful, but still not enough for him to leave his wife, so the polygon of passion is forged — and it takes a lot of mathematical permutations, equation, additions and subtraction, song and dance, sleight of hand, tiptoeing, pussyfooting around to maintain this polygon of passion, for it’s a complex situation.

He has to lie, cheat, deceive, connive, make up stories if he wants to maintain this deception. Ironically, he does all those things because he wants to keep the affair from his wife, but invariably and inevitably she will find out, for that degree of deception and duplicity is difficult to disguise.

Interestingly I have seen many instances and heard many woman say, “Let him have his affair; I knew about her for a long time now but he comes back home to me. What does she have but a few moments of pleasure?”

That’s a rather practical and pragmatic point of view that some women cling to. But for others, they won’t stand for it, and when the love triangle is exposed, the dolly house mash up, and that’s the end.

Women who are married or deeply involved with a man will also get involved in a love triangle, as she will have her husband at home but dabble in the delights of a dalliance with another man. The reasons are varied and complex, with the main ones being boredom or neglect, plus a lack of desire.

Women often get bored with their men as time elapses, and they also feel neglected by their partner who may also display waning interest in her. She also loses desire for her spouse, which I have explained before, and seeks to fulfil this desire from another source. Nature abhors a vacuum.

So, that same woman will be a bored, lacklustre wife at home with no feelings for her husband, unable to achieve any sexual gratification yet still discovers that explosive tsunami of orgasmic, erotic explosion with another man. Some people bring out the worst in others, while others bring out the best.

People are different things to different people, and that same dull, non-orgasmic wife will be a tigress in the arms of another man. If you’ve been following the P Diddy trial and heard about the freak offs during which people indulge in sexual activities for days non-stop, well, that is the fantasy of some people when they get involved in love triangles. The passion is boundless.

So, the love triangle exists. But unlike some women, as I mentioned, who will tolerate it by saying what those ladies said earlier, no man is going to say, “Oh, let her have her affair then come home to me after.” That’s not going to happen.

Men do not like being one angle in a love triangle, and that’s where the murder-suicide component enters the picture. Like I said, it always ends badly, for how long can this triangle be maintained: one, two, five years? Never; there is always an expiry date.

Sometimes it’s incomplete, like this most recent news story of this policeman who was alleged to have shot his lover, killing her then turning the gun on himself, but he survived. Reports are that an argument developed over telephone text messages. So even suspected involvement in a triangle can lead to disaster.

Also it’s been said, “Never get deeply involved with a woman who cheated on her man with you, for she will cheat on you too.” Hmm, it does kinda make sense, don’t? After all, what makes you so special that she won’t cheat on you too? “The same knife that stick sheep stick goat,” they say.

Still, with all the complications, the deceit, the subterfuge, the lies and duplicity, the polygon of passion still exists with rampant regularity. Maybe it’s because it’s saturated with so much salacious sexuality and sensuality. Perhaps the desire is so powerful that it overrides all other feelings of logic and common sense. Maybe people just think for the moment, the here and now, without looking down the road and considering the consequences. Here are some quotes.

“Most of those love triangles are wrecktangles.” — Jacob Braude

“Don’t let two men fall in love with you, girls. It’s not the sort of thing that ends well.”

“In a love triangle the heart isn’t divided, it’s pulled apart.”

“You make me happy because you exist in my world, you make me sad because I don’t exist in yours.”

“I can stand him not loving me; I can’t stand him loving her.”

“
Torn between two lovers, felling like a fool

Loving both of you is breaking all the rules

I couldn’t blame you if you turned and walked away,

Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool.

— Song by Mary MacGregor

It may seem romantic and exciting in the books and movies, and also in the beginning in real life, but invariably and inevitably the polygon of passion, the love triangle, always ends badly.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Sports is such an integral part of our culture, our make-up, our way of life, and we relish our success in the various fields. I am always amazed when I watch prep and primary school championships and see the vast wealth of talent that’s on display as those youngsters give it their all. But it’s when I see the basic school championships that I’m blown away as those toddlers — some barely three years old, perhaps younger — show a maturity and ability that belie their tender years. Some may not agree, but I do believe that running fast is in our DNA. We bawn fi sprint! And our success has proven that.