WOMEN often say men can be frustrating, but if we’re being completely honest, we too have some habits that can drive our men straight up the wall. I’m not saying this to criticise, but to help you recognise and adjust certain behaviours that may unknowingly be sabotaging your relationship.

Remember, as women we have immense power to influence the tone and health of our relationships. I’ve learned this both through mistakes I made in my own journey, and from coaching women through theirs.

Here are five bad habits many of us are guilty of (even if we don’t want to admit it) that can make men throw their hands up in frustration.

1) Nagging instead of communicating

Let’s be real, constant nagging doesn’t get results; it creates resentment. There’s a difference between reminding your partner and repeatedly pointing out what he hasn’t done. When your tone turns into a running list of criticisms, men often shut down. They stop hearing you and start feeling like failures. Instead of repeating the same request ten times, try a softer approach. State your concern clearly, once or twice, and allow space for him to respond. Think: less nagging, more effective dialogue.

2) Comparing him to other men

Nothing bruises a man’s ego like hearing, “Look at Janet’s husband, he always does this or that” or “Why can’t you be more like…” Whether you’re comparing him to your ex, a co-worker’s husband, or that
Instagram-perfect couple, it’s a blow. Every man wants to feel like he is enough for the woman he loves. When you constantly compare, it sends the message that he isn’t measuring up. The truth is, every man has strengths and weaknesses, just as we do. Instead of pointing out how another man behaves, focus on his unique strengths. A little appreciation for what he is doing right can motivate him to step up in other areas

3) Being glued to the phone

Here’s a modern day relationship killer and I’ve been guilty of it too — being constantly on your phone, being physically present but emotionally absent. Scrolling on
TikTok while he’s talking, answering
WhatsApp messages during dinner, or posting every detail of your life on Instagram while ignoring the person beside you. I hurts. Men, like us, crave undivided attention. If your phone is always competing with him, eventually he’ll stop competing. Set boundaries for screen time. Those moments of eye contact and real conversation are what keep intimacy alive.

4) Oversharing relationship problems

It’s natural to want to vent to your girlfriends or family, but be mindful — when you constantly air out your relationship issues to outsiders, it erodes trust. Many men feel disrespected when private matters become community talk. Worse yet, once you reconcile, those friends and family still hold on to the negative picture you painted of him. Protect the sacredness of your relationship. Venting to God, a counsellor, or even journalling may be a healthier choice.

5) Not saying what we really want

We’ve all done it: giving the silent treatment, dropping hints instead of speaking plainly, or saying “I’m fine” when we’re really fuming. But here’s the truth — men aren’t mind readers. What we see as “testing” their love or patience often feels like manipulation to them. Honesty is not weakness; it’s strength. If something bothers you, say it with love and clarity. Healthy relationships thrive on direct, respectful communication, not emotional puzzles.

6) Neglecting yourself

This one might sting a little, but it’s important. Many women, after years in a relationship, get so caught up in family, career, or church duties that we forget to take care of ourselves. But men notice. When you neglect your appearance, health, or even your joy, it not only affects your confidence, it also shifts the energy of the relationship. Taking care of yourself isn’t vanity; it’s an act of love. A woman who invests in her well-being radiates strength and attraction. Start going to the gym or modify your diet to get rid of the extra pounds and stay healthy. Go get your hair done. Do your nails. Go shopping for some new clothes. Do what it takes to make his eyes light up when he sees you.

Every woman desires a happy, fulfilling relationship, but sometimes we unknowingly sabotage it through habits that can be changed with a little self-awareness. None of us are perfect. I’ve been guilty of more than one of these habits myself. But the beauty of growth is that we can change. Relationships are not about perfection; they’re about awareness, effort, and grace.

At the end of the day, men, just like us, want love, respect, and peace.

Which of these five habits do you see yourself guilty of sometimes? And which one will you work on starting today?

Marie Berbick Bailey

Marie Berbick-Bailey is a certified master life coach, women’s resilience coach, ordained minister, author, motivational speaker, wife, mother and big sister dedicated to empowering women to heal, thrive, and walk in purpose. Connect with her at www.marieberbick.com, www.marieberbickcoach.com, or e-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.