Dear Editor,

Every year World Mental Health Day, celebrated on October 10, reminds us to pause, reflect, and talk about what so many still whisper about — mental health. Yet amid the many stories of stress, anxiety, and depression, there’s a quiet battle that too often goes unseen: the emotional toll men face when their goals take longer than expected to materialise.

I have spoken with countless men — strong, intelligent, well-intentioned men — who carry an invisible ache. It’s the weight of delayed dreams. They work hard, stay disciplined, do everything “right” yet still find themselves asking: Why am I not where I thought I’d be by now?

For many men, success is more than a personal goal, it’s tied to identity, worth, and how society measures manhood. The world often teaches men that their value lies in achievement: the promotion, the car, the home, the family stability. So when progress slows or detours arise, self-doubt can quietly morph into shame. That shame then silences them, pushing them deeper into isolation.

I’ve heard men confess, often in hushed tones, that they feel like disappointments to their parents, to their partners, and even to themselves. Some compare their current chapter to someone else’s highlight reel on social media. Others live in constant self-questioning: Did I waste my time? Shouldn’t I be further along? Who am I if I’m not winning?

The truth is many men are hurting, not because they’re weak, but because they’ve been conditioned not to show weakness. They drown in silent expectations, balancing invisible timelines while masking the exhaustion behind smiles, work, or humour. Society celebrates resilience but rarely teaches that real strength sometimes means admitting you’re struggling.

But what if we redefined achievement? What if success was not only measured by milestones met but by the courage to persevere when life refuses to follow our plans? The man who keeps showing up despite uncertainty, who learns from failure, who rebuilds after disappointment is not behind; he is becoming.

Delayed goals do not mean denied purpose. Sometimes life delays us to prepare us to deepen our wisdom, widen our empathy, and teach us patience with ourselves. Those pauses can shape better leaders, fathers, friends, and thinkers. They remind us that worth is not tied to pace, but to presence.

I urge us, especially men, to talk more openly about these silent burdens. Seek help. Call a friend. Confide in a counsellor. Your struggle does not make you less of a man. It makes you human.

And to those supporting men: Listen without judgement. Affirm without comparison. Sometimes the best thing you can say is not “You’ll get there” but “I’m proud of you for still trying.”

To every man still fighting unseen battles, still walking despite the weight, your timeline is not broken. Your story is still unfolding. You are not late; you are learning. And in that learning, there is profound strength. Behind every delayed dream is a man still deserving of peace, purpose, and pride.

Leroy Fearon Jr

Lecturer

leroyfearon85@gmail.com