A noble shalt thou have,

And present pay;

And liquor likewise will I give to thee,

And friendship shall combine,

And brotherhood.

— Shakespeare, Henry V

Men have always bonded together, sharing secrets, exchanging ribald and raunchy jokes, chatting about women, their conquests and their failures, going to sporting events, forming groups, as in a band of brothers, and generally doing what females would never understand. There are even many places where females aren’t allowed, such as some lodge groups and institutions that are bastions of male bonding.

There’s a sort of secret pact that men have that’s unwritten, but nevertheless understood, and that’s why even in old time cowboy movies there are scenes of blood brothers bonding, where two men would cut themselves with a knife and then press the wounds together so that their blood would flow and intermingle as one. Sometimes it would be between native Indians and white men.

“Now we are blood brothers, bound together forever.”

Yes, this brotherhood phenomenon has been around for a very long time, and was even more powerful back in the day when moral fortitude, honour, and discipline held sway in high esteem.

“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers, for he today that should shed his blood with me shall be my brother.” — Shakespeare

I daresay that has waned a bit, but despite the erosion of honour, principles, and nobility, there’s still some sort of code that many men still adhere to. In the very same way that people say that policemen stick together and defend each other no matter what, is the same way that many men bond.

In the USA it’s called the wall of blue, for that’s the colour of the uniform of the New York City cops. It’s said that those cops stick together forming a wall of blue that nothing penetrates. The Marines are also famous for this, and their credo is, no man left behind.

Well, the man code is the same, and we’ll see if it really applies here or not, right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Advantage mistress’.

Tony,

For me as a woman, I don’t like the idea of being a mistress, for more than one reason, not even if I were younger. I would like to live a life of my own, doing what I want to do with no obligations or strings attached. For those who want to be a mistress, by all means be one, it’s your life.

Sharon

Teerob,

You said it yourself, mistresses have been around since marriages were brought into law, and some women are mistress material, while others are wife material. As a man I have the best of both worlds, I’m married and live the respectable life, but I also have my mistress who fulfils what I don’t get at home. The moment she starts to act like a wife though, I’m outta there and gone. I will not be nagged on both fronts.

Douglas

Do you know that there’s actually a book titled The Man Code? I haven’t read it as yet, but what I do know is that there’s a code that many men live by, sometimes subconsciously, but it’s always there. Sometimes they tend to stick together and protect each other from the opposite sex. It’s just a thing that men do.

“This is bredrin and bredrin business, we can’t make the women know.”

In fact, there’s this joke about a guy who came home late one night and his wife was on his case about his whereabouts, so he told her to call his friends to verify his story. The first guy said, “Oh yes, we were together having a drink and left the bar late.” When she called another friend, he too said, “Yea man, we went clubbing and lost track of the time.” All of his friends covered for him, but one guy went too far and said, “Yes, we went for a drink and he came by my house, and in fact he’s still here.” Oops! Never volunteer too much information, just answer the specific question.

The point is though, men tend to protect each other with this code of dubious honour as they practise the man code. A man would never see his bredrin out with another woman and run to the man’s wife and tattle on him.

“You know, I saw Orville out with a criss young sexy ting.”

His lips would be sealed because of the man code.

Not so women, who would spread that tale faster than a wildfire in California, as the story would go viral. Another code is to be a good wingman, a really trusted partner who would always have his back and supports his every action. You’ll always see them together, even if a woman comes into the picture and they seek a romantic interlude, but invariably the wingman will always be there to back up his bredrin.

Another man code is, don’t date your friend’s ex. Well, that must be a foreign man code, for in these parts of the world it’s common practice for men to date the ex of their good friend. In fact, some men specialise in this practice. As soon as his friend and his woman break up, he moves in for the kill like a hyena who won’t hunt for himself, but waits until the cheetah catches his prey before he moves in to steal it.

“OMG! Him cudden wait till dem break up properly before him ask the woman for a date eh?”

But there are also some men who stick to this code and never date the ex of his best friend. They are extremely rare though.

There’s also the man code that says, respect boundaries, which means be respectful of the relationship that the friend and his woman has. Some men do not respect these boundaries and will openly flirt with their friend’s woman when he isn’t around or even right before him.

Sometimes he’ll even have the nerve to ask the woman out behind his friend’s back, clearly having no respect for the relationship.

“Let’s go jogging nuh, or to the gym?”

Again, this must be a foreign man code, for many Jamaican men take great pleasure in testing the boundaries and more than flirt with their best friend’s woman.

I know guys who refuse to leave their best friend alone with their wife, even though the marriage is over 30 years old.

“No way, trust no man, not even my best friend with my wife.”

Maybe you can’t blame him, for the woman may very well be up to it, as women do crave attention and the cheating cliché that ‘It’s always the best friend,’ oftentimes holds true. But the man code says that he shouldn’t fall prey to that invitation.

“I shall grow jealous of you shortly, Launcelot, if you thus get my wife into corners.” — Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice.

“Page is an ass, a secure ass, he will trust his wife, he will not be jealous… God be praised for my jealousy.” — Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor.

Another man code says, ‘Look after your drunk friends,’ and if you look back at the quote up top, you’ll see the line that says, “And liquor likewise will I give to thee.” Men like to drink together, and that’s why you’ll always see guys together at bars or clubs, drinking and playing dominoes.

The familiar phrase is, “Come man, have a drink, have another one, have one more.” And they drink and chat and tell lies about women, but they still look out for each other.

“A man’s got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job.”— John Wayne.

But guess what, this is not new, for men have been adhering to codes for centuries. The martial artists will know about Bushido, which promotes respect, honour, loyalty, discipline and integrity

If you have the opportunity to be around martial artists, especially the old-school ones, you’ll see a difference in them, how they comport themselves, their sense of loyalty, respect, honour, discipline, and humility.

It’s that code of honour that sets us apart, and like I said, you’ll find it more in the old-school martial artists, for like most things nowadays, the principles of the past seem to be slipping away like the glaciers at the North Pole.

“We came into the world like brother and brother, and now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.” — Shakespeare.

Yes, my friends, the man code does exist, but I think that it’s being slowly eroded as time goes by. But it does remain in some quarters, and there are still some men who will stand by the man code and defend their bredrin, come hell or high water.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: What can I say about Hurricane Melissa that hasn’t been said? What a tragedy that has befallen our country, what grief, sadness, horror, despair, and desolation. Watching the human tragedy brings tears to my eyes, but among the tales of despair there is still hope, for I see the strength and resilience of our people. We are from strong stock, and we shall rise from the ruins. What’s even more disturbing is to learn that there are some deviants who actually exploit the plight of many victims, as they go about robbing and looting. There is a special place in hell for people like that. Hurricane Melissa came and conquered, but will not break the collective spirit of our people. The brave may fall, but never yield. Fortis.