Dear Editor,

The emotional issues affecting men and boys are not taken seriously. In many societies men are expected to be tough and void of emotions. In our gendered approach to socialisation, boys, from an early age, are not shown as much attention when they hurt. Young boys are taught to “toughen up” or “suck it up” when hurt or facing challenges.

Emotional suppression is a learnt behaviour and lays the foundation for feelings of shame for unresolved emotions. This oftentimes positions anger as the only acceptable masculine emotion. This “man up” attitude and narrative matures into a rejection of empathy towards others and repackages nurturing impulses as “weak”.

Additionally, it is also very disrespectful for females to tell grown men to “man up”. It is this double-standard approach regarding the sexes that oftentimes contribute to toxic masculinity.

Yet all is not lost. International Men’s Day, observed annually on November 19, celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families, and their communities. The day is set aside to highlight positive role models and raise awareness of men’s well-being. This year’s theme is ‘Celebrating Men and Boys’.

The six pillars of International Men’s Day are to:

1) promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sports men, but everyday, working-class men who are living decent, honest lives;

2) celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, childcare, and the environment;

3) focus on men’s health and well-being: social, emotional, physical, and spiritual;

4) highlight discrimination against men in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and the law;

5) improve gender relations and promote gender equality; and

6) create a safer, better world in which people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential.

The activities surrounding International Men’s Day are often organised by the Bureau of Gender Affairs and other government bodies to honour the positive contributions of men and address issues like health and well-being. Events typically include forums, workshops on mental and physical health, and award ceremonies to recognise outstanding fathers and role models.

On this International Men’s Day let us work harder for a gentler society rooted in a spirit of positive masculinity. The day should also be used to foster a culture of gender harmony by working towards a framework for representing sex and gender in a way that is inclusive, accurate, and interoperable across systems.

Additionally, International Men’s Day serves as a foundation for the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals, especially goal #5, which addresses gender equality. Globally, this important occasion should be used to encourage all men to continue playing affirmative roles in their families, in their communities, and in nation-building.

Gender is not a metaphor for women. Men matter too.

Wayne Campbell

educator and social commentator

waykam@yahoo.com