LOW libido in both men and women is more common than many people think, and it’s not always caused by hormones or lack of attraction. In fact, some of the biggest libido killers are hidden in your everyday habits, routines, and even your thoughts.

“What’s really surprising is that many of these factors have nothing to do with your relationship at all,” said sex education specialist Keisha-Ann Wellington. “They’re silent mood killers that drain your energy, disrupt your brain chemistry, and trick your body into shutting down desire without you even realising it.”

Wellington said low libido isn’t always about hormones or “not being in the mood”. In reality, many hidden lifestyle, emotional, and biological factors can quietly drain your desire without you even realising it.

Here are some unexpected reasons she said why your sex drive might be lower than you think; the surprisingly common and often overlooked causes of low libido.

1) Chronic stress (your body thinks you’re in danger)

“When your stress hormones stay elevated, your brain prioritises survival over reproduction,” Wellington said. “Your body literally shuts down sexual desire because it thinks you’re under threat, even if the ‘threat’ is just e-mails, deadlines or bills.”

2)Poor sleep

Lack of sleep lowers testosterone and disrupts mood-regulating chemicals. ”One bad night can lower libido the very next day, even in women,” Wellington said.

3) Hidden nutrient deficiencies

“Low levels of iron, vitamin D, magnesium, and B vitamins can all reduce energy levels and hormonal balance,” Wellington explained. “A mild deficiency you don’t even feel can tank your desire.”

4) Over-exercising

“Yes, too much fitness can kill libido,” Wellington said. “High-intensity training increases cortisol and strains the nervous system. Many people assume more exercise boosts libido, but extreme training often crushes it.”

5) Mental load

“Even if you’re not physically tired, just thinking about all the things you’re responsible for can drain your sexual desire,” Wellington said. “Mental exhaustion affects libido as much as physical exhaustion, especially in women.”

6) Your medications

“Common medications like antidepressants, birth control pills, blood pressure medications and antihistamines can temporarily reduce sexual desire,” Wellington said.

7) Relationship micro-tensions

“It’s not always big fights, small, unresolved irritations build up over time,” Wellington said. “Resentment against your partner that you’re not even consciously aware of can switch your libido off.”

8) High sugar intake

“Blood sugar spikes and crashes affect hormones like insulin and cortisol,” Wellington said. “One sugary meal can reduce desire due to inflammation and fatigue.”

9) Hormonal imbalances you don’t realise you have

“It’s not just low testosterone, other hormones matter too,” Wellington said. “Issues like thyroid hormones, an oestrogen/progesterone imbalance or high prolactin can cause problems. Thyroid issues are one of the leading hidden causes of low libido though, and many people don’t know they have these issues.”

10) Digital overload

“Constant screen time overstimulates the brain and collapses your dopamine reward system,” Wellington said. “Mental energy spent scrolling social media can dull sexual desire the same way overstimulation dulls taste or smell.”