Dealing with holiday grief: Tips for survivors struggling during the festive season
In the aftermath of Hurricane Melissa, Jamaicans at home and across the diaspora are navigating different variations of grief even as the festive season approaches. Some families are mourning the loss of loved ones, while others are grappling with the devastation of homes, property and livelihoods. The usual joy of Christmas is now mixed with sorrow, uncertainty and the emotional weight of rebuilding.
As the Christmas season progresses, it’s important to remember that grief and celebration can co-exist. You are allowed to feel sadness in one moment and comfort or gratitude in the next. There is no “right” way to move through this time. However, there are ways to care for yourself and connect with others while honouring the holiday spirit.
Here are seven ways to cope with grief this festive season:
Acknowledge your emotions
Grief is a complex emotion that is not only confined to the loss of a loved one. It can stretch to the loss of pets, livelihoods and even material things. Part of dealing with grief is not ignoring the feelings that come with it, whether it be anger, jealousy, sadness or anxiety, but rather allow yourself to feel your feelings, acknowledging them as valid and letting them run their course without dwelling on them too much.
Make plans ahead of time
If you are experiencing grief, try to make plans prior to the holiday season about where you will be and who you will be around. This can help relieve the pressure of making last-minute holiday season decisions about how to celebrate, what to cook etc. and allow you time to rest and think.
Stay active
If you feel able, challenge yourself to get some movement in on daily basis, whether that looks like going down the street, visiting a place you love, or simply walking over to your neighbours. Challenge yourself to see one good thing as you move. For Jamaicans in the west where surroundings may be unrecognisable, try to search for signs of resilience— a budding tree, birds returning or a beautiful sunrise, etc.
Create moments of remembrance
Whether you are grieving the loss of your home, your livelihood, a loved one or multiple things, finding a way to remember what you lost in a way that feels more healing than painful, like watching old videos or finding a physical reminder, could help set your heart at ease.
Avoid overconsumption of alcohol
At Christmas time, there is often a variety of spiked drinks and straight alcohol available to consume. Do not give in to the temptation to “drink away your troubles” as an unhealthy habit can spiral into addiction if left unchecked. If you need help monitoring your alcohol intake, ask a loved one to act as an accountability partner.
Do things differently if you need to
There’s no one way to do Christmas. If losses, monetary or otherwise, are still too fresh to make a traditional celebration possible, feel free to pivot into whatever lifts your spirits. Whether that means staying home alone, visiting a soup kitchen or volunteering, having a huge dinner or a muted affair, or not celebrating at all. The Christmas spirit is everywhere if you allow yourself to find it.
Seek professional help
If you feel as if the season is too much to handle or you are at risk of hurting yourself or others, reach out for professional assistance. If you have a therapist, reach out for tools to help you cope. The Jamaica mental health hotline can be accessed at 888 NEW LIFE (639-5433).