I once worked with a very brave young man. We went through many doors not knowing what to expect on the other side. One day we were engaged and he responded well, in keeping with his training. As is normal, we had to pay a visit to Indecom. It was his first shooting, so I had to warn him on what he was up against.

I said to him: “These are good people, sound investigators. However, they are working for an organisation that if they don’t charge police officers and send them to prison to die on the bad side of a shank, they fail. They are mandated by the Act that governs them to be a crusader against police shootings and accept money from critics of the Jamaica Constabulary Force.”

Well, me and my big mouth. The hardcore ops man who, though young, showed potential to become a strong operator, just fell apart. He began sweating profusely and his hands were trembling. I am not sure what nerve I hit, but he was falling apart.

I said, “Son, it’s a good shooting; just tell them what happened honestly. But be careful, because they will try and find things to hurt you because that’s their mandate. Don’t get confused.”

Well, he did his best and we’re still here.

Some would ask how you can have no fear of a Jamaican gunman — St Catherine ones at that — but you are afraid of some civilians with pens in their hands. So how can he fight this? He needs to remember that he is guided by laws and, unlike them, not answerable to foreigners with big cheque books, but by the entire JCF.

I once worked with an officer who used to go through doors like they were water. One of the strongest men I have ever worked with; we call him Hulk. Very brave too, never worried about what was behind the door, he just smashed through.

Well, one day we were in an environment frequented by crocodiles. It was a swamp. We will discuss this swamp day later in the article. I noticed as we traversed the swamp he looked terrified. I asked him, “What was wrong?”

He said he fears the crocs. He has an actual phobia.

Well, I fear those reptiles as much as the next guy but I’m guided by logic. People with phobias aren’t logical, and we had to remain quiet, so I couldn’t exactly counsel him. So, this warrior is afraid of giant lizards. How can he fight this? He just needs to stay out of swamps.

I was in Gun Court one day for a matter with a young officer who had never given evidence before. I felt I should prepare him for what was coming; the stern judge, the aggressive defence counsel, and the prosecutor who doesn’t turn up to lose.

I told him, “The defence counsel is not your friend in here. He is going to call you a liar, call you unprofessional, threaten to report you to your superiors — and this simply means you’re giving good evidence.

Well, upon hearing my wise counsel the young man just stated with a straight face, “My boss, a you one a guh up de caa mi cyaa manage dat.”

I implored him, explained to him that it’s all just words. He stated, “I can’t take it.” And he walked away.

The court was called up and my witness was gone. I begged the judge time as my witness was not feeling well. I got a proper dress down from the judge and a 15-minute recess.

I cannot explain the ‘piece a begging’ I went through to get that man in that witness box. So, his fear is giving evidence. He will only get better if he gives evidence more often.

Many years ago I was on SWAT training in the United States. Really hard, but really good training. Myself and an officer I will call Johno were doing pretty well until they introduced rappelling into the mix. Rappelling is a technique where officers descend from a controlled height using a form of rope from an elevated place, to include the side of a building or a helicopter.

It’s terrifying to anyone who respects gravity. To persons with acrophobia it’s beyond terror. Well, Johno was acrophobic. He realised this as we were just about to come down the side of a building the height of Jamaica Pegasus hotel in New Kingston.

Before he could ventilate his defiance about participating in the descent he was shoved over and rappelled down, head first. He has never rappelled again. Neither have I, as I gained a good appreciation and respect for gravity the second there was no hard surface under my feet.

So, he fears heights. How can he fight this? Maybe overcome it by embracing it, trying to parachute from a plane, or by accepting it and descending by an elevator. In the future.

Many years ago I met a brave young lady who was the victim of a rape. She carried me by herself into the community and showed me where the guy lived. One day she saw him and kept him in sight until I arrived and arrested him.

On the day of the trial wild horses couldn’t get her in that witness box. We tried everything but the overwhelming scene of the courthouse was too much for her. She just refused, and nothing could budge her. The only cure for that lady is to go to court more often — and that will never happen.

One day, recently, for the first time, I actually traversed a swamp. Not the banks of a swamp. The actual swamp. Swamps are not suitable for human occupation. They are intended for crocodiles, frogs, birds, manatees and snakes. Not us. Every time you step, you sink deep in mud; your shoe will come off as well. So every step is hard, engaging muscles you wouldn’t normally use.

The heat is captured and contained within the mangroves; it’s humid to degrees that are difficult to explain. The water you are stepping in is actually hot, not warm. This causes dehydration much faster than it would normally.

I was beyond dehydrated before I was halfway through the swamp. On top of that I could hear the crocodiles barking like dogs. We were in a line — and a bit too close as we didn’t want to get lost — but that increased the probability of being ambushed. But, to be honest, I wasn’t really in fear of that. The crocodiles could easily have attacked us in the dark water without us seeing them in time.

It concerned me but I wasn’t that concerned. What I truly feared was fainting because of the overwhelming heat and the dehydration that I was, quite obviously, experiencing. I knew my team members would carry me, but my fear is shame.

I train literally every day of my life so I can be as good as any member of my team. I must pull my weight. That is my commitment. I fear shame, appearing weak or physically less capable than anyone else. So, I train because of this vanity. But I am not prepared to engage in swamp combat in the middle of a hot day with no water. I wasn’t trained for it.

After we completed the swamp, thankfully with none of us fainting and none of us getting hurt, I realised that every one of us was dehydrated and near collapse. But none of us fainted.

How can I fight my fear? Keep training, but include all terrains — even swamps. Our fears don’t define us. Whether we are police or civilians, what defines us is how we overcome them and how we meet the challenges created by those fears.

Feedback: drjasonamckay@gmail.com