Dear Editor,

I am writing to celebrate and honour a very special woman with whom I have shared and enjoyed a 27-year mother-daughter relationship. This precious woman is my mother-in-law, Hyacinth Davis-Barnett.

Her warmth, generosity of spirit, tenderness, care, and unconditional love towards me is a gift from God.

I thank you for loving and accepting me as your own daughter from the very first day we met. Since then, the only difference between her children — her son Greg (my husband) and her daughters, Mitzie (deceased), and Alicia — and me is that she did not physically give birth to me.

People often see us together and automatically assume that I am her biological child. I recall a moment, years ago, when a member of her community expressed surprise upon discovering that my husband — not me — was her biological child. I have never felt like an outsider.

Mom has lived overseas for nearly 20 years now, but distance has never diminished her presence.

Mom and I share a relationship independent of her son, my husband. We have deep and meaningful conversations. We laugh, dance, and exchange silly jokes. We share ideas, confide in one another, offer counsel and correction, and encourage each other often.

She was present when I delivered my first child — rubbing my back and comforting me through labour. After giving birth, my garments were so soiled that I asked her to discard them. To my surprise, when I was discharged the following day, my clothes were clean, freshly washed by hand, and neatly packed away.

When I was pregnant with my other two daughters, she called almost daily to check on me. For 27 years she has supported me in every way — cheering me on, celebrating milestones, and remaining deeply involved in the lives of her grandchildren. Mom tells me she loves me, and she demonstrates that love consistently and actively.

Whether living nearby or far away, Mommy is present — truly present. She has never been overbearing, never caused chaos or confusion in my marriage, and never placed her son in a position where he had to choose between his wife and his family or her.

Mommy is humble. She works hard. She gives more than she receives. She is always there when I need her. Although mom prefers to remain in the background, the Word of God instructs us to honour our parents. This Christmas season, I choose to celebrate and salute her publicly, because I love her, and she deserves to be honoured.

We have never defined our relationship using marital titles. My husband’s mother is my mother, and I am her daughter.

In a society where mothers-in-law are often portrayed as sources of conflict, I want to bear witness to a different truth — that mutual love, honour and respect can create a lifelong bond between a woman and her husband’s mother.

Mom, you are a beacon of love, light, and generosity. I love and appreciate you so much. You are such a tower of strength. You never back down from a fight, even if the odds seem to be against you. I have seen you fall and watched you rise, but I have never seen you give up. No matter how hard life gets, you always find a way to smile, stand tall, dig deep, and keep going.

Mom, you are a beacon of love, light, and generosity. I love and appreciate you so much.

Keisha Bowla-Hines

Grateful daughter