Mercy itself and free all faults,

As you from crimes be patdon’d

Let your indulgences set me free.

— Shakespeare

Sex is perhaps the most indulged in activity on the planet Earth, and yet it also has the most crimes affixed to it. What a cruel irony that the very thing that you love the most can be a crime in some jurisdictions and land you in jail.

“What are you in for?”

“I had sex.”

But as the quote above said, ‘Let your indulgences set me free,’ and you know what they say, “Overindulgence is its own reward and virtue its own punishment.” So, overindulge all you want, for there’s great pleasure in it, and that pleasure is your reward. As for virtue, they can keep it, for it’s as punishing as celibacy..

Virginity is overrated. ‘Your old virginity is like one of our French withered pears, it looks ill, it eats dryly.’

‘Virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self love, which is the most inhibited sin in the canon. Keep it not.’ — Shakespeare.

Living a virtuous life full of morality, strict codes of conduct and ethics, toeing the line all the time, being pure, unsullied and virtuous must be so boring. Yet if you throw caution to the wind and indulge in all of your pleasures and desires, just imagine how happy you would be.

A good example of this is the vow of celibacy taken by many members of some religious societies. After a while those same people bruk out and break those vows as they have sex with whomever they can. They just couldn’t take the virtuous life anymore. Punishment.

So maybe in a fantasy world that virtuous life may hold sway, but in the real world we have to strike a balance and live a little, do what you enjoy, laugh, love, and, of course, indulge in whatever pleasures you desire.

But that desire, as I pointed out, often includes sex, and unfortunately, indulging in sex can prove to be a crime. Did you know that fornication is still a crime in Jamaica? Oh yes, if you engage in sex without being married, out of wedlock, you can be arrested, tried and sent to prison.

Thankfully that law is not enforced, or we wouldn’t have enough prisons to hold the fornicators. Plus, even the arresting officers, the lawyers, the jury and the judge may very well be fornicators, so they better hold their corner and let it slide.

So, that’s my indulgence today, ‘Sex crimes’, right after these responses to my take on ‘Her checklist’.

Hey Teerob,

Your article is a very witty one and had me in stitches. I cannot speak for the ladies, but my checklist has to be one for a companion. He has to be an academic, hygienic, healthy, respectful, trustworthy, compassionate and, of course, of good character… not necessarily a bodybuilder, but attractive, and last but not least, be independent.

Claudine

Tony,

Loved the article today. It’s so true, they want so much and have nothing to offer in exchange. These women are unrealistic, and by their mid-30s they will take anybody because they can’t offer anything. I often think of those beautiful ‘untouchables’ from my youth, how lovely they were and out of my reach. Now they’re over the hill and I wouldn’t want them now.

Pardy

It is so cruel, unfortunate and ironic that the very thing that so many people love the most can get them in trouble with the law. Does it have its genesis (no pun intended) from that story in the
Bible about Adam and Eve who indulged in the pleasures of partaking of that forbidden fruit and got cast out of the Garden of Eden?

They committed a crime and paid the price. Is that why mankind is still paying for indulging in the pleasures of forbidden affairs and can be punished severely for it?

I’m only asking these questions because so many people are being punished because they love to indulge in sex. That word indulge comes up so often when it comes to sex that it’s almost synonymous with the act.

‘Indulge, allow oneself to enjoy the pleasure of. To allow yourself or someone else to enjoy something pleasurable, often to excess or without restraint.’

For some people, sex is like a drug, an opiate, a narcotic, a nectar of ecstasy that has total control over them. It’s like a monkey on your back that you can’t shake off. So is it fair and just to arrest and imprison a drug addict because he took drugs? After all, his defence would be, “Your honour, I couldn’t help myself, it’s out of my control?”

Isn’t that what rehab is for? But that’s no excuse, so by law, if you indulge in sex outside of marriage you are subject to the full force of the law and can be punished accordingly. I have always found it to be so ridiculous that police are chasing down people for having sex when they could be focusing on fighting real crime instead.

Let the punishment fit the crime, it has been said, so if you indulge in homosexual sex and get thrown in prison, you could suffer the same fate there. I actually knew a man who was sent to jail for homosexual buggery and when he came out he told me that it was the best time of his life while in there. It’s like throwing Brer Rabbit in the bramble patch, that’s his area of pleasure, his comfort zone. But I better stop there.

Just recently there has been much talk about decriminalising sex between minors. Sex with a minor, anyone who is under 16 years old, is a crime and the offender can be arrested, tried and imprisoned. Many old, grey-back men are guilty of this, as are some older women who prey on young boys. Just an aside, but I saw that studies have shown that more boys than girls have been victims of sexual abuse over the past 10 years right here in Jamaica. Who would have thunk it?

But what happens when two minors indulge in sex? With the current law, I’m made to understand that the boy can be arrested and charged for the crime. How can that be, what errant nonsense is that, a 14- or 15-year-old boy being brought before the courts and tried for doing what comes naturally with a girl of similar age?

But the girl is not charged. Neither should she be; they are children. The proposed legislation is to decriminalise under-age sex between consenting minors, so neither the boy nor the girl will be charged for playing dolly house, as we used to call it. That, to me, makes more sense, and counselling should be the preferred route to take.

Let’s go back in history though, to the world’s oldest profession — prostitution. For those who don’t know, that’s when someone pays another person for sex. It could be argued that we’re all involved in prostitution, but again, I better stop right there.

It’s mostly attributed to men paying women for sex, but it also works in the reverse. Well, even in the
Bible there are many references to prostitutes and men indulging in sex with those ladies. I don’t think that it was a crime to do so then, for I haven’t read of any incidents of men being arrested for indulging in the act.

But somehow in the modern world, some bright erudite lawmakers decided to make prostitution illegal. What nonsense, what stupidity, what ridiculousness. It’s like trying to stop the waves from crashing unto the shore, it’s like trying to stop the wind from blowing.

As long as the desire is there and sex is available, people will indulge in sex, and where there are sellers, there will be buyers, and no law on earth can stem that tide, stop that flow, curtail that practice. All that it does is drive the participants underground, so those involved do so under a veil of secrecy, hide under a cloak of darkness.

Some civilised countries recognise the folly of criminalising sex with prostitutes and even have designated areas for the practice. The famous Red Light District in Amsterdam comes to mind. There the ladies of the night operate freely as they display their wares from inside glass booths under the glow of a soft red light where prospective clients can pick and choose whoever strikes their fancy.

There is no fear of committing any crime, and there are even sanctioned health plans for the ladies who are regularly checked for their safety and that of the clients.

Back in the old American west, almost every town had a brothel, for the authorities knew that men had their needs and prostitutes were essential to fill those needs. It’s a natural urge like thirst and hunger, so how can you criminalise that? In other areas of the world — Japan, China and other Asiatic countries — houses of pleasure were well known and respected. There is no crime in having sex.

‘One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble

Not much between despair and ecstasy,

One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble,

Can’t be too careful with your company

I can feel the devil walking next to me

A little flesh a little history

I can feel an angel sliding up to me.’

—
One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head

The USA tried prohibition, banning the sale of alcohol, but that was an abysmal failure, as all that the people did was to go underground as bootlegging, the illicit sale of liquor, became a brand new industry and people drank even more.

There are so many crimes affixed to sex, such as adultery, where back in the day women were actually made to wear a scarlet letter and paraded through the streets to be mocked and jeered. Some were even tarred and feathered or placed in public stockades. There was no such punishment for the men. Then there’s the crime of dealing in pornography and bigamy and polygamy, marrying multiple times in order to have frequent sex of course.

But as some men have told me, the biggest sex crime of all is marrying the woman and she withholds sex from you; that is fraudulent conversion and is a big sex crime.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: What a year we’ve had, one filled with so many challenges, with Hurricane Melissa topping the list. It’s an event that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. It has taught some of us many lessons, opened so many eyes to the underbelly of our country and exposed so much. My heart is broken when I see the devastation, but my spirit is not. In fact, I take great strength from those victims who display such awesome resilience. It’s a year we’d like to put behind us. I thank you for being a part of my weekly rant and really appreciate your interaction, even silently. Please have a great and positive 2026 when it comes.