Why I would accept a ‘jacket’
While travelling on a bus to Kingston the other day I happened to overhear a conversation between the conductor and a passenger. The conversation was about the infamous ‘Jacket’, that is, when men father children that are not theirs. This conversation got me thinking about the whole issue of being a father or father figure.
The men in our society today seem not to realise that being a father figure is more important than being a father. You see, any man can become a father, but not all men are capable of being father figures. Average Jamaican men, especially the young ones, are adamant about getting a ‘youth’, but sometimes that is as far as it goes, they’re the child’s biological father and that’s it. They forget about being a father figure to that child. They see the child sometimes and play little or no part in the child’s life, and why should they, they are the child’s father and that’s what counts, right? WRONG.
Children need more than just a father, they need someone they can look up to and who can be a positive influence in their lives. Most of the times this aspect of being a father is forgotten. Why is that?
I have had friends who say that ‘boy a time man get dem youth.’ But when I ask them how they’re going to care for that child since they’re unemployed or where they’re going to put that child and the child’s mother (since they still live with their parents), their answer is that they can worry about that later.
This is why a lot of children don’t have father figures, because we young men are caught up in just ‘getting a youth’. We don’t fully understand what it takes to be a father to that child, we are not ready for or even prepared to be a father figure. So in the society we have a lot of young men fathering lots of children but not being a good father figure to them, which is essential in bringing up a child.
We men tend not to be too concerned with facing up to our responsibilities. Well, not all of us. Some of us are very responsible and prepared to play the role that our children and society need us to play right now. I’ve been to Maxfield Park Children’s home to visit with the children and you can see that most of them just want to have the care and affection of a responsible adult who wants to be there for them. We need to be there for our children whether they are ours by blood or by circumstances.
So if you were to get a ‘jacket’ would you wear it?
What is more important, you being the father of the child or you being the father figure that the child will need in his life?
We as men should be able to put aside our egos and step up when we are called on, after all, it takes a ‘real man’ to love, care for and provide for a child that’s not his. A ‘real man’ knows that what all children need while growing up is a strong father figure. A child does not have to be your flesh and blood for you to be a father to that child. All the child has to do is to be in need of a positive influence in his life. So are we ready to be father figures or are we just simply content with fathering a child?
Dameon Eunick is a freelance writer
