What are my rights as custodial parent?
Dear Mrs Macaulay,
A court order gave me custody, care and control of my child and access for the father for every other week-end. He should also pay half education and half medical costs and give some money monthly towards her living costs. I keep having trouble with him because he keeps deciding things about the child’s life and changing things and I only find out later.
Now my child is telling me that he says she will be going to a different school. I don’t agree that she should change schools now. What are my rights? He says he is her father and he is maintaining her and it is his right. Is this true? Does he have the right to just change her school?
-Frustrated and Confused
Dear Frustrated and Confused,
The word “custody”, though it is sometimes taken to mean having possession of a child or care and control of a child, in its legal and real sense means the rights, duties and powers over a child vested in a parent or parents. The physical care and control or possession of a child is in fact one of the rights the parent who has custody is entitled to enjoy.
What then are your rights as the parent who has legal custody of your child?
As I have said, you have
(1)The right of the physical custody, that is the care and control of your child.
(2)The right and power to determine and control your child’s education. This means that you have the right to decide which school the child should attend and what she can or cannot do at school and for extra curricular activities.
As the parent with custody, you ideally should not act in the boorish way you say the father acts. You should try to recognise and respect the fact that he is your child’s father, and so discuss any proposed changes or plans with him. He has absolutely no right to decide to change her school or change anything else in her life. The fact that he contributes to her educational expenses does not abrogate your right and power to decide and control your child’s education. If he wants any changes, he should discuss it with you but realise that the decision is yours to make and not his. As you do not consider it advisable to change your child’s school at this time, tell him so. Remind him that you have custody of the child and that the decision is yours to make. You must also make this clear to your child’s school and to any other where he may attempt to effect her registration.
(3)You also have the right and power to decide and arrange your child’s religious education and upbringing;
(4)The right to manage your child’s property (if she has any) until she is 18 years old;
(5)The right to decide whether or not your child should have a passport;
(6)The right to decide where your child can spend time, except for the period of access ordered to the father by the court;
(7)You also have the right to give your consent, if your child wishes to marry before she is 18 years old (she must of course be above 16 years of age);
(8)You have the duty to care for your child, ensuring that her overall welfare or her best interests are always your paramount consideration;
(9)You have the duty to protect and keep your child safe from all dangers and from all persons who may harm her;
(10) Also, as the parent with custody, you have the legal burden/obligation for any tortuous act of your child, and, for any tortuous act committed against your child. You have the right to act as her Next Friend and pursue any legal claim on her behalf and be the trustee of any damages awarded.
I trust that I have clarified the position for you and the father of your child and that as a result, disputes about your child’s welfare will cease. Do remember, despite the fact that you possess all the rights and powers and obligations over her, to discuss matters with the father, and make him understand and accept that the decisions are yours to make but that his opinions are important and necessary for the best interests of your child to be realised.
Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law and a Women’s and Children’s Rights Advocate. Send questions and comments via email to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com or fax to 968-2025. We regret we cannot supply personal answers.
