Un-be-weavable!

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

I’LL admit it in a heartbeat – I am a reformed weave hater. “I will never put a weave in my head,” I declared years ago.

Yeah, well the saying goes, never say never. And now I have no problem weaving it up to achieve a different look from time to time. In an effort to write this article I wondered, why was I so apprehensive about a little Yaki (hair brand) in the first place? The honest answer is, I associated a weave not only to be low class, but I was also probably fearful that I would be talked about negatively for sporting silky locks that were not mine. I was wrong about the first thing, as the weave phenomenon is not a low-class movement and caters to females from all walks of life (my apologies); but I was right that what I considered to be a change would be a negative conversational piece at an uptown party. But getting talked about is the least of my problems, because I figure opinions are like butts, we all have them.

I tried my first weave after I had exhausted every avenue for styling my own hair and told my hairdresser Vonessa that I wanted a change. She said, “Ok, let’s put in a few tracks”. I shook my head vehemently and answered, “uh uh”. But by my next appointment I was sold, and was actually quite happy with the result when it was done. I was pleased with my transformation, but also knew that as with most of my hairstyles, I would probably get bored with this one also, and would soon do something else.

Who knew that many around me would not agree with my change, though? “Yuh is a pretty black girl. Whey yuh gone put in weave fa, fi look like a white woman?” a Rastaman traced me on the street. My first thought, “Oh no he didn’t!”

Why is it that as soon as a female decides to change her look and put in a weave it is automatically assumed that she is not comfortable in her skin and wants to be like a white woman? Give me a break, people! As a person who considers herself a chameleon, and whose style can never be pinpointed, this bothers me. Am I happy with the melanin in my skin and my hair? Yes. But I am even happier that I supposedly live in an independent society that does not put restrictions on a female wanting to transform her look from time to time! Furthermore, why is it that when a white woman puts in extensions (pretty word for weave) – like Jessica Simpson who even has her own line of hairpieces – it is not an issue, but if a black girl does it is seen as a level of insecurity?

I decided to change my look another time the other day by putting in a weave, but was stopped while at a party by a lady who said – “I like your short hair more”. My polite answer to that was, “thanks, me too, (which I do) but I also like a change”. Then another woman stopped me on the road with a weave past her buttocks saying, “Your hair is not picky-picky like mine, you don’t need to wear a weave!” Disturbed by her statement I asked, “You put in a weave because you are embarrassed by your hair?”

She replied, “You nuh wan si dis without a weave”. Now I saw why the Rastaman traced me. Her type of mentality concerns me because I like my hair, natural, creamed, short, long, gelled, black, red, braided and dreaded, and sometimes even wild, but never in my life had I thought ‘oh I am going to put in a weave because I am not happy with my being a black woman who has a different textured hair than a white girl!’ Simply put, I get bored easily and revel in change. I know that my hair does not define the individual that I am, because even with a shiny, bald head (à la Britney Spears) I will still be Debs.

Don’t put in a weave because of insecurity, understand that you are beautiful regardless of how long your hair is or how light your skin is, do what feels right because you want to, not because you lack confidence.

I saw another female who was flashing her weave/hair, and I thought it looked nice and decided to ask her what type of hair it was. She shot back, “It’s all mine”. Sure, I thought, and you’re not wearing make-up either. What hurts me as a female is that it was clearly not hers, but she felt the need to lie. Girls don’t do that mess! Don’t try to pass the hair that flows past your shoulders off as yours, when it’s not, it’s just not cool! Channel the lovely Oprah Winfrey or Tyra Banks, who both will let you know if it is a weave or not. If ever asked if my hair is real while wearing a weave, I am not embarrassed and will let the whole world know, “It’s a weave”. Because I think it would be ludicrous to have short hair one day then long the other (like there is a vitamin for that).

I am a proud black woman who embraces the opportunity to change my look when I feel like it. I also believe that transformation is beneficial as long as it is not detrimental to your health. Do what you want to do, you only have one life to live. Sheryl Crow said it best: “A change would do you good.” But if you think a weave will change issues that lie within, you are sadly mistaken.