Things not to say to your guy
This week I’m focusing on compliments that you should give a man as infrequently as possible. After all, if you’re going to make a comment it might as well be a good one right? That isn’t to say these comments are bad, they just don’t compute very well in the mind of a man.
1. “I really like your mind”
Society has taught me that we never compliment persons for their mind and bodies in equal shares. The sad fact is that we humans like to compensate for things, so for example if it is that we know someone who isn’t too good looking but is brilliant enough to warrant genuine friendship, then we will constantly tell that person how brilliant they are then toss in a stray compliment about their looks for good measure. And this brings me to the point that every man likes to be told they have a great body, this reminds them that they are fulfilling that whole hunter-gatherer role. So if you continuously tell us we have ‘great minds’ then we’re liable to think you don’t think we’re that attractive and make us a little uncomfortable in our skin. It sounds a little oversensitive but it’s true.
2. “It’s so easy to fall asleep around you, you make me feel so comfortable”
While every guy likes to know that he has the power (yes I said power) to calm you down at will, if it is that you keep telling him this and also make a habit of actually falling asleep around him, then in a guy’s head this translates to, “You are incapable of keeping me entertained or otherwise engaged,”. We guys think of things in practical terms, so if you keep falling asleep then tell us how much you love that you can do that with us, what else are we supposed to think? We wouldn’t fall asleep on you because we don’t have the luxury of that excuse (think about it, you wouldn’t like it if we fell asleep on you all the time) so do us a favour and take that compliment out every six months.
3. “You’re such a nice, decent guy”
This one goes for guys who aren’t your boyfriends too. We all know what place nice, decent guys finish, not to mention ‘nice guy’ is really a female codeword for ‘predictable guy who will always do everything I want because he doesn’t want me to think he’s not nice’ and it is because of this description that nice guys finish where they do. So when you keep telling a guy he’s nice it’s like telling him you have him whipped, a fact which no guy ever wants to be confronted with, even if it is true. So once again do us a favour and unwrap this compliment at Christmas, then re-wrap it with a ‘Don’t open till X-mas’ card.
4. “You remind me so much of my (any female relative)”
No guy wants to know that you remind him of another woman, why? ‘Cause he’s a man. It’s not rocket science. This so-called compliment above all others makes it appear like you don’t see him in any way as a sexual object, which a man is prone to finding very offensive (as well he should). So do a good deed and never, ever tell you man such a ‘compliment’.
-Javier
