Break free

ONE of the reasons people make resolutions at the start of the year is that a new year comes with a certain freshness, where they can forgive the failures of the past year and pledge to start over.

We’re not pushing the resolutions ideal, because we fully understand that resolutions usually get swept out the door by March, and often, those doing the sweeping console themselves with thoughts that they can start afresh again the year after.

Instead, this week we’re pushing you to ditch the cliché resolutions and break free – from stress, false ideas, bad habits and whatever else is weighing you down. And guess what? The best part is that you aren’t tied to doing all this on schedule, or as some sort of unmanageable goal. They are suggestions that you can adopt at any time throughout the year, whenever you feel the need to drop the baggage and move on.

Stuck in a career rut? You can break free

When it comes to your job, are you just going through the motions? Is there no real joy in working, in fact, do you have to drag yourself to work each morning? Wake up, there is a way out. You don’t have to waste your life away doing a job you absolutely detest. Listed below are some alternatives you can explore this year for getting yourself out of the career rut.

*Adjust your attitude

Maybe your job is not as bad as you are making it out to be. Try this exercise: make a list of all the things you love about your job. If the good far outweighs the things that are making you miserable, then it’s time to adjust your attitude and fall in love with your job all over again.

*Network

If you find that there’s more to hate about your job than love, then no amount of positive energy is going to make you happy. It’s definitely time to do something about it. It would be good to start networking now to find something that you really love. Don’t walk out on your job until you have secured another though! It’s better to be employed than not, even if you hate what you do.

*Take courses

Getting out of the dead-end job might mean equipping yourself with other skills. Explore skills that could make you more marketable, even if they fall outside your field. These may include:

i)Practical nursing: If you find that you enjoy caring for others, then maybe you should consider a course in practical nursing. This way you will be doing what comes naturally and you can actually enjoy what you do.

ii)Court reporting: If you have a passion for the courtroom and don’t mind transcribing spoken or recorded speech into written form, then this could be a course for you.

iii)Become an aesthetician: If you are a creative person who finds that your friends are always asking you to help them with their facials, pedicures or other beauty treatments, you could take it a step further and ‘get your papers’ for it. Do the course and make some money off what you love.

iv) Set up your own business: It’s not as complicated as you think. If you are one of those talented persons who can braid, rope twist or just do a good hairdo, think about setting up a hairdressing parlour or better yet, explore the “on call” alternative of doing hair. You would be surprised at how much you can make this way.

Break free from being ‘Miss Independent’ all the time

Hard work and dedication have placed a lot of women in the position where they are independent and can meet their own needs. Independence is a great quality to possess but it can hamper your growth in the long run if you get caught up in the belief that you don’t need anyone else.

We implore you to be strong, be independent, but also be smart enough to know when it’s time to call in the calvary.

Here are a few times when you’d be wise to drop the independent vibe and get with the programme.

1. With this economy, it may just be wise to take the cash your boyfriend is offering to help with rent, especially if you really need it. After all, he already knows what a superwoman he has, you don’t have to prove a point by refusing help.

2. You both can save on expenses by moving in together. There’s no point in being independent and then struggling with pride when you can’t pay your bills. Break free from the idea that you can’t be independent and share space with someone else as well.

3. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. If need help don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for it. It’s not a reflection on your independence to admit that you could do with a helping hand.

4. Buy a house with him. The rising cost of living has made it a daunting task to be a homeowner. If you are with someone you can trust and one who you see yourself having a future with, then it is not a bad idea of exploring the option of pooling your resources in buying a house. That way you can both share the burden of the mortgage. Makes more sense than trying to do it alone when the road to home ownership is so daunting.

Leave the toxic friends behind

You need to leave the baggage that hampered you in 2009 in the past and step into 2010 with a positive attitude. This means you are going to have to make a commitment to drop some of the toxic friends that you have been struggling with throughout the past year, so that you can strive. You know the type of friends we are talking about, right? The ones who never have anything positive to say, are disloyal and don’t like to see you make any progress whatsoever. Here is how we recommend you get rid of these toxic pals.

1. Separate the good friends from the bad. It probably won’t take much effort to identify those friends you need to drop and those you need to keep. Now more than ever you are going to need people to rally around you and give encouragement as the economic crunch gets worse.

2. Talk to your friends about their behaviour. Your friends might not be aware that you are not pleased with their behaviour, so it is only fair that you tell them. If they decide not to change their habits, then you would have to decide if you would rather continue with the relationship to your detriment or tell them that you would have to part since you are not seeing eye to eye.

Break free from stress!

There are a number of factors that can bring on stress, even when we least expect it. But the good thing is that we can take control of some of the things that cause those sleepless nights and depressive moments. In fact, let your only resolution for 2010 be to FREE YOURSELF!

1. Don’t even make resolutions this year! The fact of the matter is that each year a number of persons burden themselves with a list of resolutions which may be unattainable. Instead of doing this, how about taking life a step and a day at a time? The thing about not making resolutions is that you don’t have to wait until January 1 to start. Change your life whenever you feel you must, without stressing yourself about accomplishing a goal at a particular time. As soon as the opportunity presents itself, make a go at it.

2. Free yourself from debt. No matter how much you love or want an item that is on hire purchase, leave it alone! Don’t burden yourself with ridiculous monthly payments when at the end of the day you could have bought two of the items if you had done so with cash. Instead, set aside some money each month until you have reached your target. Then buy it cash. Remember, if you miss a month or two while on hire purchase you will be threatened by the bailiff!

3. Smile. If your job is stressful, try to make the most of it on a daily basis. In other words, go to work with the attitude that others are out there who would love to have your job. Smile and think about how blessed you really are and tell yourself you can overcome any hurdle that comes your way.

4. Focus on the positives. If you’re going to the gym yet you are not losing weight, stop focusing on the weight you are not losing and instead focus on just how relaxing working out makes you feel for the remainder of the day. After all, exercise does work magic.

5. Socialise aplenty. The less time you spend alone, the less time you will have to feel sorry for yourself when things are not going right. So go on messenger or Facebook, call up an old friend, interact with others and forget about your troubles. When you finally get back to it, it won’t seem so insurmountable.

6. Love yourself. While it may seem strange, having a loving acceptance of oneself is often an important key to making a permanent change in stressful situations. This goes hand-in-hand with having a strong faith. High self-esteem goes a long way.

Break free from bills

Every dollar will count this year, so make sure you do whatever you can to cut back on the amount of money you spend on bills. And we are not just talking about utilities only, but everything you can do that comes at a cost, whether it be buying groceries, purchasing gas for the car or buying clothes and other household items.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Iron clothes once per week. Instead of plugging in your iron every morning, you can save some money by ironing your work clothes and your children’s uniforms once per week. Just find a suitable time, like your day off, to get all your ironing done.

2. Fix all leaking faucets. Don’t put off fixing your leaky kitchen faucet this year, in fact, do a run through of your house to see what else is leaking or clogged before you call the plumber. You would be amazed at how much you could possibly save on your water bill by fixing leaks.

3. Do more car pooling. Save gas by arranging a car pooling system with other parents who have children attending the same school as your child. You can select a day when you would be available to pick up and take the other children to school.

4. Unplug appliances. Lower your electricity bills by unplugging appliances around the house. Many appliances still utilise a little electricity even when not turned on, so it is advised that you unplug everything when they are not in use. Some homeowners who have done so, say they have seen improvement in their bills.

5. Turn off lights when not in use. Make sure you turn off the lights when leaving a room, even if you plan on returning to it soon. The fact is that while you have the intention of doing so, it is common to become sidetracked. It might not seem much, but turning off your lights when they are not being used can actually save you money.

6. Run all of your errands at one time. Save gas by running your errands at one time. So before you leave the house make a list of places you need to go for the day and get them done one after the other.

7. Buy clothes during sales. Now that the Christmas season is over and January is a slow season for some businesses, you might have luck finding more sales. Take advantage of these sales and save money in the process, which can be used to do other transactions.

8. Make a grocery list when going to the supermarket. By doing up a grocery list, you will be less tempted to overspend. It probably will take a little while to go through your cupboards and fridge to see what you really need, but saving money will make up for the energy used.

You don’t have to be supermom

Even supermom deserves a little break sometime; so this year, commit to spending more time improving yourself, so you can live a healthier and happier life. Don’t worry, your kids won’t die if you decide to take some alone time away from all the stress and hassle that often comes with raising a family. In fact, you will eventually come to realise that taking care of YOU will help you to be more effective at taking care of them. So:

1. Break free from spending above your means. Get rid of the mindset that you have to get your children involved in every extra-curricular activity that pops up. Let’s face it, times are hard, so you have to live within your means. Don’t get headaches over the fact that you can’t get your child registered for this year’s karate lessons. Give them a break and treat yourself with the extra money instead.

2. Get your body in top shape. There is no better time than the present to get your body in shape. If you don’t have time to go to the gym, that is understandable, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t schedule some work-out time for yourself. You can get up a little earlier in the mornings and work-out with a fitness instructor on television or you can arrange to walk in your community with friends before or after work.

3. Splurge a little. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to spend your hard-earned cash on being pampered, rather than spending it on fixing up the house or on a trip for your children. You need time to relax and rejuvenate yourself as well.

4. Find someone who doesn’t mind playing babysitter. Probably you have been too consumed with spending time with your children all along, that you haven’t even considered leaving them with family or friends who are capable of taking care of them. This year, break free from the notion that you have to spend every waking moment with your child, or that you can’t arrange to go on dates or social events because you have a child.

5. Get everyone involved. You don’t have to walk behind your children picking up after them every single minute. Get them to become more responsible by helping themselves, whether this comes in the form of having them prepare themselves for school, getting their breakfast ready or doing their own laundry.

6. Focus on your primary goal. It is important to set goals that you want to accomplish for the new year. Don’t only set them, but do what you can to accomplish them. Naturally achieving goals, whether they are going back to school, starting a career, loosing weight or finding a suitable husband, is going to take a little time, so start learning to book time for yourself.

– Donna Hussey-Whyte, Cecelia Campbell-Livingston and Nadine Wilson