Temptation: Why she’ll cheat
THE new Tyler Perry movie Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counsellor, addresses the issue of women cheating when their men do not give them the attention they need. In the movie, Judith, who is married to her stable, boring, predictable childhood sweetheart Brice, falls for the suave Harley, a wealthy entrepreneur who exposes her to a life of attention, private jets and parties.
Christian Judith eventually yields, after comparing Brice to Harley, and realising that she wants the fast romance that Harley offers, over the monotony of a marriage with a man who, though loving, is hardly a romantic.
This story is nothing new, but the movie certainly has tongues wagging. The hubby wasn’t abusive or overtly uncaring; in fact, Brice is eerily a lot like many of the men we women have at home. And so this week we asked women, what would be lacking in your relationship that would lead you to temptation?
Francine R, 40, in a relationship for nine years:
Sex and money. If I can’t get proper sex at home or if he is not willing to do certain things in the bedroom then I would be tempted to go outside the relationship. And that doesn’t mean I don’t love him or that I don’t want the relationship, but if someone is willing to do those things and he is not, then I would be tempted.
Kerene B, 38, married for four years:
Lack of affection. If my husband stops showing me affection — he refuses to kiss me, hug me, compliment me, those little things — and there is someone who is willing to do all those little things that a woman likes, then I would be tempted. I don’t think men realise the importance of showing affection; it can either make or break a relationship. Those little things are what makes you feel secure in you relationship, so yes I would be tempted.
Renice S, 38, single:
Being neglected. Lack of good sex. Lack of intimacy (closeness, cuddling, etc). Lack of emotional closeness. I guess abuse should be on the list but if that happens I would just end it, so I wouldn’t even call that ‘going outside of the relationship’.
Bernice T, 47, married 11 years:
If I discover that my husband has been having an affair, worse if he has outside children that I don’t know about. If it’s a case where he has confessed — after I found out — and he now wants to work it out, I would not feel any form of obligation to stay committed so I would be tempted to be with whomever I choose.
Latoya G, 32, in a relationship two years:
If he is not paying me any attention. If he is not doing that and taking care of my emotional needs then I would be tempted to go outside. I am not saying I would actually go outside but I would be tempted. Because at the end of the day my emotional needs matter more then money, more than anything. He has to make me feel loved, feel wanted and special, that sort of thing.
Danielle D, 30, in a relationship 12 years:
Lack of attention, understanding and time for the relationship. Because sometimes in a relationship passion is missing because one or both parties do not pay attention to the other. They have time to do everything else except see the other party’s needs.
Desrine M, 35, in relationship 10 years:
Oral sex. If he is not willing to do this then I would be more than tempted to go outside. And this is especially true if he wants me to do it to him, but refuses to return the favour. I know a lot of people who are now in that position, who have gone outside their relationship just for the experience. Men need to know that ‘Joe Grind’ died many years ago and ‘Oral’ is carrying the swing. He has become a woman’s best friend. So if he refuses to do it I would be more than tempted to go outside.
