If U want kids, make it happen!

Many people have made the usual New Year’s resolutions, some more than likely they will not be able to live up to.

But instead of making unreachable plans for 2014, take charge of things you want to change and make them happen.

That said, many women have wanted to have children for a long time, but for whatever reason it just never happened. If you are one of those women, make it happen — whether or not you are in a relationship!

Get ready

Make sure that you realise that having children is both fulfilling and life-changing. It’s not for everyone.

A support structure of friends and family will be needed — single or not.

Remember the child becomes yours for at least the next 21 years.

Single?

For single women, whether young or not so young anymore, there are options. If you think you are independent enough and can afford to raise a child on your own, there is the option of getting pregnant for an ex, or someone of your choice, but whom you have no desire of settling down with. A number of women have done this, but do this only if you are certain you can go the full journey alone.

Having trouble?

For women who have tried getting pregnant but cannot, your next stop may be a visit to the University Hospital of the West Indies (UHWI), where you can view your options. A counsellor will walk you through it all.

Among the options is in vitro fertilisation (IVF). This is a procedure whereby an egg is fertilised by sperm outside the body. This is a major option to infertility when other methods of assisted reproductive technology have failed.

For women who may not be able to afford this method, you can share eggs with another woman. Yes, a friend, family member or well-wisher can offer you an egg if you need it and have it implanted in you. This will be a win-win situation as not only will you have your baby, but so will the other woman who may not have been able to get pregnant naturally.

This is only one facility offered; there are other reproductive technology options that may be for you.

Over 40?

If you are over 40 and feel your time is up where having a child is concerned, rest assured that more and more older women are having babies, according to director of the Hugh Wynter Fertility Management Unit at the University Hospital of the West Indies, Professor Joseph Frederick.

Some, he said, are Christians who were waiting to get married before having their children, while others wanted to achieve their career goals or pursue their studies before tackling motherhood.

“The peak (for fertility) would be about age 29 to 33 and after, say, seven years, the decline starts, so you find that the pregnancy rate at about 40 is really about seven per cent, and by 46 it would most likely be like about 0.1 per cent who can get pregnant naturally,” he explained.

Dr Frederick and the staff at the fertility clinic will design the programme that best suits you.

“We would not encourage a 45-year-old to go for in vitro using her own eggs, nor would we stimulate her. We would encourage her to go via the egg recipient route where she would get the egg from a younger patient and we would fertilise it with her spouse’s sperm, but then her uterus would be used as a receptacle to carry the foetus,” Professor Frederick said.

Freezing that egg today… for a baby tomorrow

So you have already decided that you want to have a child but want to pursue a career or education first. Believe it or not, you can keep your egg in storage until you are good and ready!

“We are now freezing women’s eggs, and so a young woman can now freeze her eggs at an early age [where they are healthier] and wait until she has pursued her career or until she gets married later on in her mid-40s and then those eggs can be utilised to have a pregnancy,” Professor Frederick explained.

Health issues?

Your health directly impacts your fertility. Being overweight is sometimes a sign of an underlining illness, one that can sometimes prevent you from becoming pregnant. “You may need to lose weight to get to your ideal weight for height. This will improve your chances of ovulation and help you become pregnant,” obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Sharmaine Mitchell said.

If you are a smoker, quit smoking, as this can affect your fertility. Smoking has been shown to harm a woman’s ovaries, and can also lead to an increased risk of miscarriage.

If your partner is the one who smokes, it might make it difficult for you to create that family you’ve always dreamed about, since smoking affects a man’s sperm count. Since you are now taking matters into your own hands, you may want to think about changing partners if he insists on continuing to smoke.

Women who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses, such as cancer, are also able to freeze their eggs before undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatment, so that the eggs can be implanted when the cancer goes into remission or they have recovered from whatever treatment regimen.

Your partner cannot get you pregnant

If you are in a relationship and unsure of the reason you cannot become pregnant, make an appointment with your gynaecologist for both yourself and your partner. The doctor will do the necessary tests and guide you accordingly. Do not wait for your partner to make the step. Make it yourself.

“Your partner also needs to be evaluated because he might be the real problem why you have not become pregnant,” Dr Mitchell said. “He will need to have a physical examination and a semen analysis.

It may be anxiety. If you are simply anxious to get pregnant but nothing is happening, try increasing the number of times you have sex before ovulation. Don’t wait for your partner to make the move — seduce him if you have to!