‘How come yuh butt so spongy?’
WE women often feel the need to enhance our God-given beauty in whatever way we can, even if we have to glue it in, paste it on, tear it off or sew it in; if it will make us more beautiful we will do it. However, what about when our added appendages fail us and worst of all, when we are not in a position to fix them?
Janet, 32:
I don’t like my short nails. That’s why I have been wearing false nails since in my 20s. My husband loves when I cook for him and this one time, I decided to make him dinner. Unbeknownst to me one of my false nails got trapped in the dumpling dough. Needless to say he was biting on one of my acrylic nails later on that night. Since then the only staple he will eat from me is rice. But my nails are still long.
Amanda, 25:
My boyfriend invited me to a pool part once uptown. I went all out for that pool party. Trust me when I say that I was hot. When it was time for me to get in the pool I had some reluctance. Eventually I made it to the pool, staying only in the shallow part. My boyfriend and his friends eventually took me out to the deep end of the pool. They dipped my head in the water once. When I came up, my Brazilian hair was soaked and my false eyelashes were floating in the water.
Ava, 24:
When I just started working I observed that everyone in the office had shaved eyebrows. Being young and naïve, without asking any questions I went home and decided to try shaving my eyebrows myself. What started out as a simple removal of a few hairs eventually turned to me trying to get both sides equal and thin at the same time. By the time I was through I had no eyebrows. In a panic I used an eyeliner to draw back on my eyebrows. When I went to work the next day I was so hot from taking the bus and walking to work that I wiped the sweat off my brow. Needless to say my brows were gone as well. No one in the office had the courage to tell me that my eyebrows were smudged. Lesson learnt. After they grew back in a couple months, I paid a professional to do them for me.
Tanya, 27:
I have been a little conscious of my flat butt since I was a teenager. It would always bother me. So one summer while I was abroad I saw the pull-up butts for sale. Let’s just say that my dating career took off after that. One guy I went out with was too eager and touched my butt without asking. Not that I knew of course, because I couldn’t feel it. Without warning he yelled out, ‘How come yuh butt so spongy?’
Kenyah, 29:
When I was in high school I use to run track. At that time I use to experiment with my hair until I reached a point where I had no hair left and so I had to use a wig. On sports day the girls decided to wear blue wigs because we were representing blue house. When it was my time to run my leg of the relay I took off, aiming for the finish line. When I reached the end of the finish line my wig was no longer on my head, but it had flown off and blinded one of my opponents, giving me the upper hand.
Evette, 31:
I’m a girl who likes to get her pedicures. However, one particular week I was a bit strapped for cash and so I didn’t take my usual trip to the nail technician. One night my husband was in the mood and so he began kissing my feet and playing with my toes. In a few minutes the false nail off my big toe was in his mouth. Since then foreplay starts at my ankles and I’ve never missed a nail appointment.
Lorna, 39:
Whenever I go to church I am usually prim and proper; surely you must understand that I cannot allow any of the church members to say anything about me, least of all about my appearance. One morning I put myself together nicely and went to church. During the worship session one of church sisters got into the spirit. She began to move about the church until she bounced on me and I was knocked to the ground and my wig ended up on the other side of the church. Let’s just say that the worship session was cut short by thunderous laugher. I have since joined another branch of my church in a different location.
