Wifey? No way!
THERE’S a certain type of cow that a man will buy even after he’s had the milk for free — she’s the one who’s irrefutably wife material. There’s also a certain type of man who is the marrying, settle-down type, even while popular opinion would have it that all men will stray at some point.
‘Marriage material’ is a term used to distinguish between the people you’ll date and move on from, and the ones with the sticking factor that you’ll hold on to. What makes the distinction? Below is a compilation of readers’ accounts of the seven types of people who don’t quite make the cut.
1. The too-experienced woman
Andre F, 33, sales associate:
She’s the woman who has been around the block, and it’s obvious. Note the distinction between this woman and the other experienced woman who doesn’t look the worse for wear. The latter can be marriage material if she has other things going for her, other than having been just a serial bed-hopper. Experience is quite OK in these modern days, but details of your experience etched in your gait and in the lines of your face and in your medical history means that you’re automatically off a man’s list.
2. The leech
Sandra W, 45, accountant:
This is the man or woman who sucks you dry, whether emotionally or financially. Women are usually the ones most guilty, but you have some men, too, whose sole purpose in life is to be taken care of by women. So what if you look like a Greek god? Get a job! No well-thinking person would marry such an individual; often they’re just good to look at and occasionally take to bed.
3. Girls just wanna have fun
Teddy L, 30, pianist:
So you’re barrelling towards 50 and you’re still heavy on the club scene, still wearing the shortest shorts and the highest platforms, and still using teenage slang. This can only get you one place — discarded. No one is going to take you seriously if this is you, no matter how cute and ‘artistic’ you are. Have fun in your 20s and seek to settle down in your 30s. No man wants to marry someone whose motto is 24/7 fun.
4. The airhead
Lancelot, B, 47, mechanic:
Men are becoming more in tune with the idea that after the children leave home, you need to be able to talk to the partner who you will grow old with. As such, more men are looking to marry women they’re friends with, instead of the ones who may look good. Looks will go, but intelligence sticks. The woman with an empty brain is not someone a man will see as long-term potential.
5. I adore you
Lorraine, P, 33, student:
Look out for the types who say too much too soon. These are the ones who will declare their love after a few weeks, and also declare an obsession with the physical and not the mental. It’s impossible to adore someone after a few weeks, or even a few months. These people who fall too fast are usually flakes who will be adoring the next person their mind fancies and dropping you like a hot potato.
6. Miss Critic
Brandon R, 22, electrician:
This is the lady who has an issue with everything — the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, the way you smell, the food you eat… They will nag you no end, leading to a life of misery.
7. Too narcissistic
Lori-Ann B, 19, intern:
Women usually get a bad rap for this, but some men are narcissistic too, and these are the worst! Any man who looks better than I do and makes a point of pointing it out will probably give me hell when pregnancy makes me fat and have stretch marks. Eye candy is good to look at, but for marriage you want your prince to not be too charming, but rather to have a few adorable warts.
–Petulia Clarke
