Signs his family hates you
CERTAINLY, one of the most anticipated yet disquieting events of dating is that invitation to meet your partner’s family. Many women do their best to give a positive first impression, but for others, no matter what they do, they will never get that mark of approval from the man’s family.
Some family members will master the art of being nice to your face while trashing you behind your back, while others will tell you outright that you’re not their cup of tea. How do you know when you’ve rubbed the family the wrong way if they’re too nice to overtly indicate this?
Relationship Counsellor Wayne Powell shares a few red flags you can use to determine that you are not your in-laws’ pudding and pie:
They ignore your presence whenever you come around and don’t engage you in conversation
You are basically the invisible woman; the talks are exciting and full of life but magically cease when you appear. Furthermore, you are never invited to sit and share.
They are overly critical of you and may even publicly embarrass you
You’re too fat or too thin, you are nothing like your partner told them, or you are quite the opposite of the woman they want him to be with. It can be a number of things, the point is there are very few things if anything that they compliment you about. Instead they harass you and make your visit uncomfortable.
They are critical of any contribution you might make to a conversation
Okay, so you’re invited to participate in the conversations, you are even asked to share points, but almost always they mock you and the answers you produce. Regardless of how good your arguments are, there is always someone playing devil’s advocate or downplaying your contributions.
They exclude you from family events and often don’t include you on the invitation
Yes, you may have met them, but following that you are never invited regardless of the number of family events that are held. And even on wedding invitations and other formal gatherings, your name is deliberately excluded from the invitations.
They speak glowingly of a former girlfriend/boyfriend in your presence
‘Oh, Jennifer was this and John did that and we loved him/her because… ‘ Family members know how painful it is to be compared to your partner’s ex. Not only that, but they want you to be sure where their loyalty lies and perhaps to show that there really is no room for you. They will even stir up and build stories in the hope that you will break up with your mate.
They are very cold and unresponsive toward you
Harsh tones, precise use of words, and their attitude towards you suggests they aren’t interested in friendship. They are also making sure you know getting close and friendly is not likely at any time in the near future.
Your partner always has to be shielding you from verbal and non-verbal attacks
They are mean, very mean, and it’s a never-ending war inside and out of your presence. They are disrespectful, and regardless of how often your partner steps in or even demands that you be spoken to with respect, they still sneak a naughty word or two in your direction whenever you are around.
When they call your house and you answer the phone they fail to acknowledge you
‘Hello, put John on’. Not, ‘Hello Cathy, I hope you are well, may I please speak with John?’ You are to them just an invisible, non-existent partner undeserving of any interaction with them.
