Don’t rub butter in puss mouth
HOW many times have you heard women lament that their best friend ‘stole’ their man? A woman ending up with her best friend’s boyfriend is not strange; it happens more often than we think. A person cannot be made to leave you unless they want to, but sometimes a woman, without even realising it, can create opportunities for her man to get too close to other women.
Here are some key things to note:
1. Not every man has the willpower to refuse an attractive woman
Men are highly visual beings. Even if a man loves you, it doesn’t mean he won’t find other women attractive. If a man feels a strong sexual desire for a woman who is easily available to him, he rarely thinks about what will happen after he gets close to her. The prey came right into his hands and his first instinct is normally to have the meal then deal with the repercussions afterwards. It’s the depth of love and respect he has for you, his principles, a genuine desire not to hurt you, and willpower that help him remain loyal.
2. A good girlfriend is a gem to have, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be jealous of what you have
There are some loyal girlfriends who would never for a moment consider flirting with or trying to get with their friend’s boyfriend/husband. However, there are many who certainly will if the opportunity presents itself. Ideally we would want a world where there are people who have no room for certain feelings in their heart, but every human being is capable of feelings of jealousy and envy. For women, that includes being jealous of the man in your life, especially if he treats you well.
3. Establish boundaries with females who stay over at your house
If a female friend or relative is visiting for an extended period, be sure to have a talk with her before the first night she stays over. Let her understand what you expect in terms of how she presents herself around your spouse. Nothing is wrong with telling her that revealing clothes should not be worn in the presence of your spouse. It’s your house. Anyone who visits should respect your rules.
4. Don’t be an enabler to your own peril
There are women who have a very trusting relationship with their female friends and feel very comfortable about them spending time alone with their spouses. Some women even ask their girlfriends to accompany their boyfriends to places, if they can’t make it. Depending on the level of trust that exists between yourself and your partner and yourself and your friend, there might not be any reason to think this could backfire. But be mindful that the more time a person spends in the company of another, the greater the bond they develop, so don’t get too comfortable with this practice.
5. You don’t need to be Matlock, but you need to be wise
A man is an adult, and if he values what he has with you, you shouldn’t have to go out of your way to keep him from slipping up. This is the logical view, but the truth is that we are imperfect beings seeking a perfect relationship. This is just not possible, so a smart woman will not set herself and her relationship up for drama. Men know how other men think, and that is why most men are wary of even their own friends being alone with their women. A woman should start thinking like a man when it comes to protecting what she has. Simply put, no female associate, whether it is a close friend, colleague or relative, should be left alone with your man for any extended period…especially if the other woman isn’t in a happy relationship. Don’t rub butter in puss mouth.
Marie Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Keep up with her on marieberbick.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl. E-mail marieberbick@gmail.com.
