The benefits of celibacy
JUST recently, local dancehall artiste Spice, known for her raunchy lyrics and her provocative style, shared that for the next 12 months she would remain celibate. This caused an Internet uproar as people could not wrap their heads around the thought of voluntarily giving up something so pleasurable.
But relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says that it is actually not uncommon for women to opt for a period of celibacy. He also could understand why many people were bewildered, citing the very obvious — we live in a sexualised world.
Below he shares reasons why people may opt for celibacy over sex, and the benefits, even knowing fully and well the pleasures they are robbing themselves by virtue of this decision.
No risk of pregnancy or contracting STIs
It’s the best birth control and the most effective disease-prevention method. Whether it is you are not ready for a child or ready for any more, or that you just don’t want to expose yourself to the risk of STDs in light of how sexually fluid some partners can be, some people choose to sacrifice pleasure for their health or to save themselves from being responsible for another human for the rest of their lives.
Promotes self-control and personal discipline
Sex is very tempting, especially in this world. There are clothing, music, books — everywhere we turn — that remind us of sex and its associated pleasures. But by committing to being celibate and staying the course, an individual is able to develop healthy habits such as self-control and personal discipline. This will not only help you the next time sex is tempting and you don’t have a condom, but it will also help you with making better life choices.
Provides opportunity for focused attention on a personal development matter (spiritual)
Sometimes we become so fixated with sex and whomever we engage in it with that we forget about ourselves and our well-being. Celibacy will certainly help steer focus more on understanding your personal desires, on developing them, and nurturing them, which you previously would have been unable to do with all your interactions.
Eliminates the issues that arise with engaging someone sexually
You no longer have to worry about whether or not you did a good job or if your partner enjoyed it, or if they are going to break up with you or if your partner will become sexually abusive, or even being trapped in a sexual relationship. Sex can be very complicated and sometimes you can do with a break from all the baggage that it somehow seems to attract to you. Celibacy is a good way to escape this, to re-evaluate and reassert yourself, and to work on fixing how broken you are to ensure or demand respect and healthier experiences should you return to sexual relationships.
No shame and embarrassment when you have sex with someone who disregards you afterwards
Celibacy can be your decision to wait for the man of your dreams because you are focusing on marriage, a union which sometimes lessens the possibility of you being used for sex and then being discarded. Others opt to never engage in sex at all out of fear of rejection and the embarrassment set to follow.
You maintain a sense of dignity and self-worth
For some, celibacy is about empowerment, dignity and self-worth. Many women look to their bodies, their sex appeal and the number of men who ask to sleep with them as a sign of their self-worth, and should this decrease or become non-existent, then they feel worthless. So some women prevent this through celibacy.
For religious purposes
In some faiths, it is mandatory to remain celibate until marriage. Others propose theories that the sexual demons of the person you became sexual with and of their previous partners rest with you. It is also another reason that people who remain celibate generally do not entertain more than about two sexual partners throughout their lives.
