Pressured to wed
MANY women find that when they are at a certain age and unmarried, family and friends continuously nag them about getting married. This is done noticeably if the women are in long-term relationships with their partners and/or are living with them. Some women give in to the pressure and get hitched, while others just continue to live their lives how they want to. All Woman spoke to some unmarried older women about the pressure they are under, and what they have been doing about it.
Gloria, 40:
I’m the eldest and come from a Christian household. My two younger siblings married pretty early. My entire family is pressuring me to get married, and they constantly try to set me up with whom they consider fit for me. I’ve been with my partner for five years. We have a good thing going and I believe sometime soon we will tie the knot. But we will do it in our time on our own terms. There’s no rush.
Jacqueline, 52:
My family wants me to get married, but I don’t want to. Marriage requires too much commitment that I’m not prepared to give. My family has this ‘yuh need a husband fi tek care a yuh’ mentality. I’m a successful and independent career woman; I don’t need a husband to take care of me or ‘mind’ me.
Pauline, 40:
My close girlfriends are all married and their children are biologically their husbands’. I have two children with two different men, I’m unmarried, and I don’t have a partner. I feel left out many times, to be honest, especially when they’re planning anniversary celebrations and telling stories. I want to get married so I don’t feel so left out.
Carol, 45:
Oh yes! I do feel pressured to get married, but marriage is so sacred and special. I want to marry the right one. I’m not going to jump and marry Mr Brown because he’s available and everyone says I need to get married. I’m waiting for the right person and we’ll do it when the time is right. Family and friends won’t be the ones stressed and frustrated when the problems come hurling at me. I will be. So in the Jamaican way and a lot more words, I told them to leave us alone and allow us to live our lives.
Paula, 46:
My teenage daughters are pressuring my partner and I to get married. Their friends’ parents are married and they want us to follow suit. I love my girls and would do anything for them, but not in this case. If and when it happens, it will be a time of our choosing, not theirs.
Patrice, 50:
Recently, my friends really turned up the pressure on me to get married, particularly because my better half and I have been together for 10 years and living together for five. But we both had the unfortunate experience of marrying in our early 20s and divorcing shortly afterwards. Neither of us want to get married. We like us the way we are.
